This is the only place I can vent. I'm sole carer for my mum, a strong woman who is being eaten away by progressive supramolecular palsy. Every day is living grief, knowing what's to come but fighting like hell every step. I have moments of emotional clarity where I cry like Niagara falls, the rest of the time I push it all back to try to function.
Doctor just left, given mum antibiotics as felt mum may have started aspirating. I'm beyond petrified. Right from diagnosis I read up on psp. Aspiration pneumonia is a common cause of death. How the hell do you deal with this. All I know is it's now started. It may well be we have more an more of this, more an more antibiotics until it gets to a stage where they stop treatment.
The doctor said to me that can be the kindest thing to do, let nature take its course. It's sick. Wrong and sick. I'm furious, scared, so many things. Palliative care is a totally different monster to what I once thought. It's cruel. Don't even know what the feck I'm saying anymore.
Doctor just left, given mum antibiotics as felt mum may have started aspirating. I'm beyond petrified. Right from diagnosis I read up on psp. Aspiration pneumonia is a common cause of death. How the hell do you deal with this. All I know is it's now started. It may well be we have more an more of this, more an more antibiotics until it gets to a stage where they stop treatment.
The doctor said to me that can be the kindest thing to do, let nature take its course. It's sick. Wrong and sick. I'm furious, scared, so many things. Palliative care is a totally different monster to what I once thought. It's cruel. Don't even know what the feck I'm saying anymore.
