falloutcarter13
Bury me, bury me...
- Aug 1, 2020
- 671
I just went to a real dark place in my head. I'm sitting here holding my bottle of SN, and its taking everything I've got to not go in the garage, make my suicide nest, mix up the poison, and leave this shitty world and fucked up body and brain behind forever. I have to leave letters for everybody, but right now I feel like saying fuck it, let them figure it out and let it be their problem.
Why can't I just get to a point where I don't give a shit anymore and just do it?
Enough procrastinating. I'm going to start on my letters tomorrow so the next time I feel like this, I can just do it and not worry about anything. I'm only still breathing out of habit, the last bad habit I need to quit. Absolutely no point in doing this anymore. I'm starting to think even the connections and bonds I'm making here are just my SI being sneaky and trying to make me stay a little longer.
Why can't I just get to a point where I don't give a shit anymore and just do it?
Enough procrastinating. I'm going to start on my letters tomorrow so the next time I feel like this, I can just do it and not worry about anything. I'm only still breathing out of habit, the last bad habit I need to quit. Absolutely no point in doing this anymore. I'm starting to think even the connections and bonds I'm making here are just my SI being sneaky and trying to make me stay a little longer.
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