Venting the hatred I have for myself goes deeper than any other feeling

[slitwristsbleedcold]

i am so ashamed be of what, and who i am, not one day goes without me waking up feeling disgusted by the sight of myself

I'll never like, who i am, because i don't have a persona, my personality was built and crafted to depend on the person I'm interacting with, not made to enjoy, but made to let other people take advantage, of me, i don't know who i am, and i fear ill never do

ps sorry for mistakes or if I'm not making any sense, im just so tired

 

[justanotherfailure]

You are still a person, even if you feel like you have no idea who you are. Sometimes it can help to take a rest from worrying about everything - don't think about trying to find your identity, or what other people think, or anything of that sort - but just get away from people and spend some time doing something peaceful. For me that's playing piano, but it's different for everyone. It might not solve all of your problems, but it can hopefully give your mind a bit of a reset. Lastly, if you hate yourself (like I do), don't focus on who you are - just focus on who you want to become. I know that can be hard (I fail to do that most of the time myself), but its really the only way to stop hating yourself all the time.