The gulf between who I am an who I could have been is almost unbearable.

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm smart, I'm good-looking, I had a lot of potential. I have a good work ethic, I can make people laugh. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I feel these things are true.

That's why it's even more painful to live with this chronic illness, that I developed for no reason besides bad luck. I could have gotten married, had a family, been a good father. I could have had a good, fulfilling career. But instead I live in a black pit of depression and pain, with my intestines squirming like a snake stuck inside my body. Half the time I stand up after sitting, I almost black out. My hands and wrists have shooting nerve pain.

And I'm sentenced to live for decades longer, as the person I am and the person I could have been grow ever further apart. The hope I feel sometimes about recovery is just a cruel trick played by my animal nature, which wants to stay alive despite intolerable living circumstances.

All the anxiety and hopelessness I felt in the past, before my diagnosis, was justified. The worst possible thing I could have imagined came true.

I want it to be over, but I'm not nearly depressed enough to ever take the step toward suicide. God, please either heal my infirmities or make my situation exponentially worse so that I'm driven into the arms of death by the pain. Please don't let me wither and rot in this purgatory between life and death, where every day seems unbearable.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so painful being trapped in that situation, it really is so cruel and terrible how there's all this suffering. But anyway I wish you all the best.

 

[Rational man]

Have you been diagnosed with a specific disease may I ask?. My situ is similar but my disease developed after the c19 vax, I believe. Ive lost so much weight, my intestines feel like fire and my body is riddled with neuropathic pain. I used to be fit and healthy, And im still here after three Years!..Im afraid to say that life is chaotic and random good and bad things happen. Im only keeping sane by accepting that this is the card ive been given..Its awful but its is fact. Im really sorry that you suffer.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

Have you been diagnosed with a specific disease may I ask?. My situ is similar but my disease developed after the c19 vax, I believe. Ive lost so much weight, my intestines feel like fire and my body is riddled with neuropathic pain. I used to be fit and healthy, And im still here after three Years!..Im afraid to say that life is chaotic and random good and bad things happen. Im only keeping sane by accepting that this is the card ive been given..Its awful but its is fact. Im really sorry that you suffer.

Yes, irritable bowel syndrome. My condition developed after a trip to a developing country. I assumed it was some kind of parasite or infection, but they couldn't find anything in multiple tests, so they stuck an IBS diagnosis on me.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'm smart, I'm good-looking, I had a lot of potential. I have a good work ethic, I can make people laugh. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I feel these things are true.

That's why it's even more painful to live with this chronic illness, that I developed for no reason besides bad luck. I could have gotten married, had a family, been a good father. I could have had a good, fulfilling career. But instead I live in a black pit of depression and pain, with my intestines squirming like a snake stuck inside my body. Half the time I stand up after sitting, I almost black out. My hands and wrists have shooting nerve pain.

And I'm sentenced to live for decades longer, as the person I am and the person I could have been grow ever further apart. The hope I feel sometimes about recovery is just a cruel trick played by my animal nature, which wants to stay alive despite intolerable living circumstances.

All the anxiety and hopelessness I felt in the past, before my diagnosis, was justified. The worst possible thing I could have imagined came true.

I want it to be over, but I'm not nearly depressed enough to ever take the step toward suicide. God, please either heal my infirmities or make my situation exponentially worse so that I'm driven into the arms of death by the pain. Please don't let me wither and rot in this purgatory between life and death, where every day seems unbearable.

Not the same thing but I've posted before on here how I was in medical school. President of the oncology research group. Was the victim of crimes by the medical school... And now as a direct result I'm bordering on homeless. Living a super shitty life barely surviving. No family. IRL friends not really. No job opportunities. Just an absolute outcast of society. Someone no one cares about. So not the same thing but there's parallels.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

I'm smart, I'm good-looking, I had a lot of potential. I have a good work ethic, I can make people laugh. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I feel these things are true.

That's why it's even more painful to live with this chronic illness, that I developed for no reason besides bad luck. I could have gotten married, had a family, been a good father. I could have had a good, fulfilling career. But instead I live in a black pit of depression and pain, with my intestines squirming like a snake stuck inside my body. Half the time I stand up after sitting, I almost black out. My hands and wrists have shooting nerve pain.

And I'm sentenced to live for decades longer, as the person I am and the person I could have been grow ever further apart. The hope I feel sometimes about recovery is just a cruel trick played by my animal nature, which wants to stay alive despite intolerable living circumstances.

All the anxiety and hopelessness I felt in the past, before my diagnosis, was justified. The worst possible thing I could have imagined came true.

I want it to be over, but I'm not nearly depressed enough to ever take the step toward suicide. God, please either heal my infirmities or make my situation exponentially worse so that I'm driven into the arms of death by the pain. Please don't let me wither and rot in this purgatory between life and death, where every day seems unbearable.

This is why I think people should just be allowed to legally kill themselves.

I am at an age where I am getting too old to have children, with no prospects or career in sight. I would be nothing but a burden on the system.

There was a time where I could have had "potential". I could have gotten "better" and had a great life- now I am too old for recovery. Life has pasted me by.

"I wasted time and now time doth waste me."

The anti-suicide messaging works great for people in their twenties, who can turn their lives around, but it's utterly pointless for people who are older and have little actually left. It just all feels like a joke

 

[Ashu]

Yes, irritable bowel syndrome. My condition developed after a trip to a developing country. I assumed it was some kind of parasite or infection, but they couldn't find anything in multiple tests, so they stuck an IBS diagnosis on me.

That's how I developed it, as a sustained psychosomatic mimicking of an original episode of real gastric illness. But mine is cyclic, and evidently much less severe than yours. I also got it while living in a developing country - see my profile.

"I wasted time and now time doth waste me."

Oh, this is one of my favorite quotes

 

[needthebus]

Yes, irritable bowel syndrome. My condition developed after a trip to a developing country. I assumed it was some kind of parasite or infection, but they couldn't find anything in multiple tests, so they stuck an IBS diagnosis on me.

have u tried ivermectin?

they make it in horse paste

but make sure to get it the correct way through a doctor who will likely not give it to u

 

[lizzywizzy09]

This is why I think people should just be allowed to legally kill themselves.

I am at an age where I am getting too old to have children, with no prospects or career in sight. I would be nothing but a burden on the system.

There was a time where I could have had "potential". I could have gotten "better" and had a great life- now I am too old for recovery. Life has pasted me by.

"I wasted time and now time doth waste me."

The anti-suicide messaging works great for people in their twenties, who can turn their lives around, but it's utterly pointless for people who are older and have little actually left. It just all feels like a joke

Are you me? I could've written this word for word. My dm's are always open if you want to chat.