GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
As far as I can tell, the general societal norm is that you're supposed to appreciate your parents, if for nothing else, then for bringing you into this world, and that every one of us owes to their parents simply for giving them life. But here on SS we're a society of people who really aren't getting that much joy of "the gift of life" we were given. I know many people on here are antinatalists, and many others didn't have the best upbringing, so our perspective probably differs from the general societal consensus. So I would like to know - do you feel grateful to your parents, or do you feel resentful? Do you believe you owe them?
Of course I understand that there is a big difference between "normal" and cruel and/or abusive parents, and I do not expect anyone to feel much gratitude to abusers, if that's your situation then I'm really sorry. What I'm sure is that no one definitely owes nothing to their abusive family members.
I have a difficult set of mixed feelings about my mother, but generally I am thankful to her for the things she's done for me, even though I believe she shouldn't have had me and occasionally get salty that she seems to love my sister better. But when my father got in touch with me with a rather clear intent to request financial help, my first reaction was very visceral and angry. He isn't really a horrible parent, he never abused me or my mother or otherwise inflicted misery on me, he was just a non-presence for most of my life, and while he never helped me with any of my issues he was never even aware of them, since all he knows about me is the most basic details. I don't really have reasons to resent him, but I can't seem to produce any gratitude, and the idea of owing him sickens me. I lowkey wonder if that's a subtle indication that I'm a psychopath since you're kind of supposed to love your parents instinctively. Do you feel unconditional love for your parents?
Of course I understand that there is a big difference between "normal" and cruel and/or abusive parents, and I do not expect anyone to feel much gratitude to abusers, if that's your situation then I'm really sorry. What I'm sure is that no one definitely owes nothing to their abusive family members.
I have a difficult set of mixed feelings about my mother, but generally I am thankful to her for the things she's done for me, even though I believe she shouldn't have had me and occasionally get salty that she seems to love my sister better. But when my father got in touch with me with a rather clear intent to request financial help, my first reaction was very visceral and angry. He isn't really a horrible parent, he never abused me or my mother or otherwise inflicted misery on me, he was just a non-presence for most of my life, and while he never helped me with any of my issues he was never even aware of them, since all he knows about me is the most basic details. I don't really have reasons to resent him, but I can't seem to produce any gratitude, and the idea of owing him sickens me. I lowkey wonder if that's a subtle indication that I'm a psychopath since you're kind of supposed to love your parents instinctively. Do you feel unconditional love for your parents?