The feeling of having missed out on things.

[Rumi]

Has anyone ever felt that they have missed out on so many things?

Friendship, love, comradery. These are the things that I have missed out on and will never experience.

And through no fault of my own. I was just born useless.

I have seen so many people who have overcome their timidity and lived a normal life; but I will never join them.

This is what makes me want to CTB the most.

 

[immrw]

Yes. Connections. I see people walking around with their friends, and it's sad realizing I have no one. I spend holidays alone and it's depressing. Today my mom said that I've always hated being around people as a kid and it got worse as I grew older. I think there's just something wrong with me and even though I desperately want to form relationships with people I am incapable of it.

 

[Deleted member 60002]

I feel this way very often. I had a social life at one point in time, but I burned too many bridges. I try my best not to dwell on it, but it's hard not to when I'm so often left alone with my thoughts.

 

[expiredfckmeat]

Yep, sounds like me. I still keep trying, not sure if that makes me stupid or crazy... I know I'm not entirely sane, but neither is the world so idk wtf... I'm sorry.

 

[Rumi]

I feel this way very often. I had a social life at one point in time, but I burned too many bridges. I try my best not to dwell on it, but it's hard not to when I'm so often left alone with my thoughts.

It's hard to keep going when you're aware what you're missing out on, and it's even more difficult when you know it could have been different.

 

[catastrophix]

I can definitely relate. I haven't had any friends for years. I'm 20 and I feel like I should have friends to hang out with, but the thought of even texting someone my age makes me have a panic attack. I'm sorry you also have to deal with such a painful and isolating feeling. I hope that you can find some peace or relief soon :]

 

[Rumi]

Yep, sounds like me. I still keep trying, not sure if that makes me stupid or crazy... I know I'm not entirely sane, but neither is the world so idk wtf... I'm sorry.

You have all my respect; I have given up for the time being.

I hope that I will find people who are not completely sane, like myself.

I can definitely relate. I haven't had any friends for years. I'm 20 and I feel like I should have friends to hang out with, but the thought of even texting someone my age makes me have a panic attack. I'm sorry you also have to deal with such a painful and isolating feeling. I hope that you can find some peace or relief soon :]

I am in the exact same situation as you; in my early twenties, and I have not had anyone I can call a friend for years; there is no one I can text anymore. I have reached out to old friends before, but it has always ended in embarassement.

 

[Deleted member 60002]

It's hard to keep going when you're aware what you're missing out on, and it's even more difficult when you know it could have been different.

I'm right there with you. Social media has made that feeling even more excruciating. At any time we can pull up our phones and see how much fun our friends and peers are having without us.

 

[expiredfckmeat]

You have all my respect; I have given up for the time being.

I hope that I will find people who are not completely sane, like myself.

Thank you but I don't think I deserve that respect; I wish I could give up, I've tried, but I just can't stop torturing myself. It's driven me mad, when I can think rationally (can't really be sure of that, though) I'm just trying to get ready for the moment it drives me all the way over the edge so I can end myself with whatever dignity I might have left. Harder than it sounds, and way more difficult than it should be... I'm sorry.

 

[miserabletires9]

last several months, I look at my friends, having families and children and lots of playdates, I began to feel envious. I never felt that before.

 

[CTB Dream]

Say have prev slf mss many thing, now mss old slf, imgn mss all slf all exp all all , all mss cuz injury damage, awful life cruel life