Venting the feeling of emptiness is the greatest torture for me

[WanderingTiger]

For me, being empty is worse than feeling negative emotions. In the past, I used to think that this feeling stemmed from a lack of something, so I would try to fill it in various ways. However, today I believe that nothing can truly fill that void. Existence feels empty, and nothing can change that. I think some things merely attempt to console the absence of meaning in everything. Even having everything the world has to offer would ultimately lead me to boredom and emptiness, which I find torturous. Each day seems the same, and I feel as though I have been living this way since birth, always following the same routine with few changes. This relentless cycle of monotony weighs heavily on my spirit, leaving me to ponder the futility of it all. I often wonder if there is a way to break free from this feeling of stagnation, or if I am destined to wander through life in this state of perpetual emptiness.

As I reflect on this existence, I cannot help but notice how many people seem to drift through life, consumed by their own selfish desires, oblivious to the deeper void that lies beneath the surface. It is as if they are caught in a relentless pursuit of fleeting pleasures, never stopping to question the meaning behind their actions. This pervasive self-absorption only amplifies my own sense of despair, as I grapple with the notion that true connection and understanding are rare commodities in a world so fixated on individual gratification. The more I observe, the more I feel an overwhelming desire for release, a longing for peace that seems to elude me. In this contemplation, I find myself increasingly drawn to the idea of death as a potential escape from the relentless cycle of emptiness and disillusionment.

I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this outpouring of my thoughts

 

[timmy_o]

Hi WanderingTiger. I've also had a lot of the same thoughts which you shared here.
One caught my eye, when you mentioned how many people "drift through life...oblivious to the deeper void...never stopping to question the meaning behind their actions". I've observed this as well and it's made me quite envious of their (apparent) lack of deep, distressing thoughts about existence, meaning, and freedom, as well as their seemingly natural lust for life.
Whenever I have tried to bring up such topics as morality, or existence, or suicide, I've just been dismissed as an overthinker, or they'll look at me with wide eyes and call me crazy or start to walk on eggshells around me. So much to the point where I don't like to go very far into these topics with anyone anymore.
I've only been talking to AI lately because it's the only thing that will respond without calling me crazy or reporting me.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It was good for me to see someone had similar thoughts like that.

 

[Hollowman]

Very relatable. I died inside long ago. It's taken the fear of death out of me.

 

[ma0]

Sadly, human connection and long lasting fulfillment have been traded for short term pleasures and isolation, with a belief that others will "get in your way" and that being a "lone wolf" is what success is about.

I'm in your position as well, completely apathetic to the world around me yet craving genuine human connection and understanding, in a whole that is drastically pulling away from it.

 

[Slark]

Sadly, human connection and long lasting fulfillment have been traded for short term pleasures and isolation, with a belief that others will "get in your way" and that being a "lone wolf" is what success is about.

I'm in your position as well, completely apathetic to the world around me yet craving genuine human connection and understanding, in a whole that is drastically pulling away from it.

If you want your my friend, I would love it. I also feel empty and I think it would be cool to meet someone with the same questions

 

[ma0]

If you want your my friend, I would love it. I also feel empty and I think it would be cool to meet someone with the same questions

Lol, I guess it could be nice, maybe I'll chat some more later, it is like 3am and I am fucking knackered...

 

[Slark]

Lol, I guess it could be nice, maybe I'll chat some more later, it is like 3am and I am fucking knackered...

I also think it could be really cool. I also have to go, it's a little early here, but I'm also sleepy kk
Goodnight!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it torturous to exist, I just wish for peace as well, I hope that you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[2minutes2ctb]

For me, being empty is worse than feeling negative emotions. In the past, I used to think that this feeling stemmed from a lack of something, so I would try to fill it in various ways. However, today I believe that nothing can truly fill that void. Existence feels empty, and nothing can change that. I think some things merely attempt to console the absence of meaning in everything. Even having everything the world has to offer would ultimately lead me to boredom and emptiness, which I find torturous. Each day seems the same, and I feel as though I have been living this way since birth, always following the same routine with few changes. This relentless cycle of monotony weighs heavily on my spirit, leaving me to ponder the futility of it all. I often wonder if there is a way to break free from this feeling of stagnation, or if I am destined to wander through life in this state of perpetual emptiness.

As I reflect on this existence, I cannot help but notice how many people seem to drift through life, consumed by their own selfish desires, oblivious to the deeper void that lies beneath the surface. It is as if they are caught in a relentless pursuit of fleeting pleasures, never stopping to question the meaning behind their actions. This pervasive self-absorption only amplifies my own sense of despair, as I grapple with the notion that true connection and understanding are rare commodities in a world so fixated on individual gratification. The more I observe, the more I feel an overwhelming desire for release, a longing for peace that seems to elude me. In this contemplation, I find myself increasingly drawn to the idea of death as a potential escape from the relentless cycle of emptiness and disillusionment.

I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this outpouring of my thoughts

Beautifully written. I can relate so much to your thoughts. Been struggling for quite some time now to find a meaning in life after so many disillusions, and still, here we are. When death seems to be the only escape to emptiness with that level of certainty, it's hard to look in another direction and find reasons to push this life even further.

 

[outrider567]

Very relatable. I died inside long ago. It's taken the fear of death out of me.

Same here, my feelings exactly, over three years now