Venting The fear of growing old and unable to CTB

[Journeytoletgo]

My greatest fear is growing old with no husband and dying in a facility of some illness without loved ones coming to see me. This is why I have to CTB quickly

 

[jimmy7754]

I'm on my way

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm on my way

On your way to?

 

[jimmy7754]

I really can't take it anymore

 

[FuneralCry]

I also fear getting older. I do not want to have to deal with this life for many more decades, the thought of that is unbearable. I have had enough at this point. To me the thought of old age is so depressing, watching yourself decay physically and mentally. I find it horrific that people die a slow painful death from a disease with no option of euthanasia.

 

[Luchs]

I'm the only fertile man of my bloodline, my biggest fear is to die alone without a loving family and a son to carry on my ancestors' legacy. I'll probably ctb at latest somewhere around 60, before I grow decrepit.

 

[Rational man]

I fear ending up in a facility near the end; losing my dignity and pissing and shiting my pants. My mother died in her own filth. Its was horrific to see A once dignified independent woman die horribly from cancer. I face the same situation due to illness at 36. I wont end up like that.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I fear ending up in a facility near the end; losing my dignity and pissing and shiting my pants. My mother died in her own filth. Its was horrific to see A once dignified independent woman die horribly from cancer. I face the same situation due to illness at 36. I wont end up like that.

Hello, I'm sorry about the pain and suffering you had endured. This too is my biggest fear ending up there alone and tormented by myself. I'm sorry about your mom. I lost my mom recently too although unexpected from cancer as well.

 

[Crazy4u]

You are not alone. Many old people ctb due to similar fears. I'm sorry you feel this way. When your time comes, I hope you leave with dignity and integrity

 

[gottago222]

my fear of getting older is mental illness evolving. if i could not enjoy youth how can i enjoy old age?.. and being a burden on my family. and so i gottago asap

 

[Rational man]

Hello, I'm sorry about the pain and suffering you had endured. This too is my biggest fear ending up there alone and tormented by myself. I'm sorry about your mom. I lost my recently too although unexpected from cancer as well.

Thanks for your empathy. Life was okay despite being beaten and abused by my family. Even though Mum died awfully, I forgive her for her narcissism. My brother has become my Mother mark two. Its terrifying. He pretends shes still alive, some thing like the Bates Motel. I hope you find peace in your heart.❤

 

[ihatemylife]

Old age is absolutely horrifying

 

[StarryStarry]

I am older and I will be alone. I have no family and no real friends. I'm tired and bored with life. I get nothing from it. As each day progresses I feel as if I'm in Ground Hog's Day. The same shit over and over. Now no job, no money. Absolutely nothing. I've worked for almost 50 years and have absolutely nothing to show for it. My time is coming up. Very soon.

 

[Pluto]

What my grandmother went through was quite awful. She had dementia in her 90s, couldn't even recognise anybody, and would have had no ability to end her life even if she wanted to. She languished like that for years.

I think it makes sense to CTB whenever the writing is on the wall.

 

[Rational man]

What my grandmother went through was quite awful. She had dementia in her 90s, couldn't even recognise anybody, and would have had no ability to end her life even if she wanted to. She languished like that for years.

I think it makes sense to CTB whenever the writing is on the wall.

Only humanity allows this to happen. Its like torture. A friend said that many people with dementia are contented because they dont know any different. I dont know how true this is but medicine cannot cure or save dementia inflicted people. We all die in the end , surely going gracefully is better. Thats why im ctb sooner rather than later, in case i forget!.

 

[DieAnotherDay]

I fear getting old as I lose any chance of being able to finish it under my own terms. How is suffering in old age fair on the person who has to suffer so other people can be happy you are still alive?

 

[ElderRecluse]

I am older and I will be alone. I have no family and no real friends. I'm tired and bored with life. I get nothing from it. As each day progresses I feel as if I'm in Ground Hog's Day. The same shit over and over. Now no job, no money. Absolutely nothing. I've worked for almost 50 years and have absolutely nothing to show for it. My time is coming up. Very soon.

Not exactly my situation but some similarities. I'm fortunate to be financially secure. My wife died in 2005 and all my local friends have either died or moved away. Compared to many on this forum I'm in pretty good shape. I don't have any constant pain, just some that comes and goes, but I can't do anything physical without bringing on pain. I've become social phobic which makes it hard for me to deal with people, especially on the phone, so I put off things that require making an appointment, etc.

When I read of all the pain and suffering on this forum I sometimes think I shouldn't be here. But, then I realize that at my age I'm subject at anytime to have a stroke, or fall and break something, either of which would put me in an institution and that would take away my ability to CTB. I also have two forms of cancer for which I chose not to be treated. I'm mentally ready to CTB, and have my means of choice, but I can't get over the problem it would cause my son who lives out of state.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm the only fertile man of my bloodline, my biggest fear is to die alone without a loving family and a son to carry on my ancestors' legacy. I'll probably ctb at latest somewhere around 60, before I grow decrepit.

I honestly wish my family's "legacy" would be snuffed out.

You don't need children to leave behind a legacy, they may be nothing like you or your ancestors anyhow, most people who have kids just want a mini-me to live vicariously through and fulfill their own narcissism, then they're in for a real shock when the kid spits in their face and walks away.

Old age is absolutely horrifying

So is premature aging or never being able to enjoy your youth as it passes you by.

Only humanity allows this to happen. Its like torture. A friend said that many people with dementia are contented because they dont know any different. I dont know how true this is but medicine cannot cure or save dementia inflicted people. We all die in the end , surely going gracefully is better. Thats why im ctb sooner rather than later, in case i forget!.

I've always hated the notion that someone is fine and content just because they don't (or no longer) know any better, that is god awful to me.
People say the same thing about those who acquire brain damage, it's horrific and it's a selfish way for them to quell the guilt of sitting back while people literally lose their minds and suffer.

 

[CyberCat95]

Yes I think one of my main reasons for wanting to CTB is the fear of getting older and the unknown. At least this way I can be in control I guess.

 

[Luchs]

I honestly wish my family's "legacy" would be snuffed out.

You don't need children to leave behind a legacy, they may be nothing like you or your ancestors anyhow, most people who have kids just want a mini-me to live vicariously through and fulfill their own narcissism, then they're in for a real shock when the kid spits in their face and walks away.

So is premature aging or never being able to enjoy your youth as it passes you by.

I've always hated the notion that someone is fine and content just because they don't (or no longer) know any better, that is god awful to me.
People say the same thing about those who acquire brain damage, it's horrific and it's a selfish way for them to quell the guilt of sitting back while people literally lose their minds and suffer.

Still. I am at the end of an unbroken line of men, back to when we were monkeys. I feel like it is my responsibility to carry on. Plus I love children so much, nothing in the world would make me happier than my own. I want to raise my kids without the mistakes my parents made, so they can live good lifes and make the world a better place.

 

[Darkover]

nobody wants to get old and frail and be all alone but thats life what can you do about it but get off the ride before it all comes crashing down around you.

 

[freedompass]

Oh man this topic hits home. I'm gonna be 60 in March. Most normies would say ah that's just middle age, the new 40 yadda yadda. But I am no normie, I've lived my adult life on the margins with severe mental illness. My only son who was unplanned kinda resents/hates me for having been unable to raise him single handed (not complaining, I mean I understand, there have been consequences to his life and I'm sure I would feel the same in his position). My mum is very old and I can only hope to god she passes without severe loss of faculties and dignity. If it's this bad for her, neurotypical with family support, wtf can I expect if I fail to die in timely fashion. This subject is depressing and triggering af, but yeah. The 'gift' of life so thoughtlessly bestowed on us by our progenitors is nothing but a death sentence.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I would like my survival instinct to go down with age like my testosterone level does. Unfortunately biology is not going to do me this favor. We age because evolution wants us to die. I know, evolution does not wants anything but this way it is easier to speak about this topic. Evolution does not care about individuals who do not reproduce anymore, they have no lever to effect anything. A suicide-culture like the Eskimos had in former times would be desirable but the opposite is the case: We are not allowed to die in modern societies. I guess the profit generated by modern technology-based medicine during our last years is the reason for this.

 

[LookieLou]

Not exactly my situation but some similarities. I'm fortunate to be financially secure. My wife died in 2005 and all my local friends have either died or moved away. Compared to many on this forum I'm in pretty good shape. I don't have any constant pain, just some that comes and goes, but I can't do anything physical without bringing on pain. I've become social phobic which makes it hard for me to deal with people, especially on the phone, so I put off things that require making an appointment, etc.

When I read of all the pain and suffering on this forum I sometimes think I shouldn't be here. But, then I realize that at my age I'm subject at anytime to have a stroke, or fall and break something, either of which would put me in an institution and that would take away my ability to CTB. I also have two forms of cancer for which I chose not to be treated. I'm mentally ready to CTB, and have my means of choice, but I can't get over the problem it would cause my son who lives out of state.

My mom ctb'ed in a nursing home. She had progressive dementia and stopped eating or drinking, which was the only thing she had control over. Her kidneys shut down and she died.

it makes a good backup plan for me if something happens.

 

[LADY007]

Not exactly my situation but some similarities. I'm fortunate to be financially secure. My wife died in 2005 and all my local friends have either died or moved away. Compared to many on this forum I'm in pretty good shape. I don't have any constant pain, just some that comes and goes, but I can't do anything physical without bringing on pain. I've become social phobic which makes it hard for me to deal with people, especially on the phone, so I put off things that require making an appointment, etc.

When I read of all the pain and suffering on this forum I sometimes think I shouldn't be here. But, then I realize that at my age I'm subject at anytime to have a stroke, or fall and break something, either of which would put me in an institution and that would take away my ability to CTB. I also have two forms of cancer for which I chose not to be treated. I'm mentally ready to CTB, and have my means of choice, but I can't get over the problem it would cause my son who lives out of state.

I'd like to describe something to you. I lived in TN and my parents were in another state. My mother ended up in a nursing home with dementia. When I
could...I flew to see her. She couldn't talk more than jarbled noises. If I saw bruises on her I had no way of knowing how they got there. Sometimes if your relatives are not close....the unknown is painful to them. In the long run, I would rather be gone than have them wonder and feel guilty about not being closer.

My greatest fear is growing old with no husband and dying in a facility of some illness without loved ones coming to see me. This is why I have to CTB quickly

I am 70 ..my husband is 82. I was writing his obituary yesterday..just in case. Odds are, that is going to happen and I want to go first. He has step-children who can help him.

 

[angiegirl30]

I'm not sure why people are afraid of getting older. I'm in my early 50's and it's not that bad. Yeah I have some health issues but they are manageable. My hair is turning silver in some places. I have some aches and pains. But all of this happens at younger ages as well. I may not be able to do some physical things as easily as I once did but taking things slower is nice. You notice more detail and beauty in what is going on around you. You also tend to not take things for granted. As you get older, you naturally adjust to it. My physical appearance has gradually changed which makes it easier. When I was growing up, I looked up to my grandparents and thought they were the neatest people in the world. They "knew" stuff that my parents didn't. Maybe what you were exposed to as a child has influenced your views on it but believe me, it's only as bad as you make it out to be.

 

[Lost Magic]

 

[ThePaleWhiteLight]

You know, Soviet cosmologists like Evald Ilyenkov believed in a cyclical model of the universe.

Evald Ilyenkov's Cosmology: The Point of Madness of Dialectical Materialism - The Philosophical Salon

From today’s perspective, the most interesting European Marxists of the twentieth century were those who tried to break out of the duality of Soviet-style dialectical materialism and the Western Marxist ... Read More

thephilosophicalsalon.com

 

[BigGimpin]

I fear ending up in a facility near the end; losing my dignity and pissing and shiting my pants. My mother died in her own filth. Its was horrific to see A once dignified independent woman die horribly from cancer. I face the same situation due to illness at 36. I wont end up like that.

I have the exact same fear, and to make matters worse I am disabled, I have been 100% independant my whole life, but I am 52 and starting to gets signs of losing it. Hopping on the bus sometime in the next week.

 

[Rational man]

I have the exact same fear, and to make matters worse I am disabled, I have been 100% independant my whole life, but I am 52 and starting to gets signs of losing it. Hopping on the bus sometime in the next week.

Im the same. I.was a fit healthy, climbing mountains 36 Year old man. Now im,skinny and sick. Doctors say just get on with it... There s no dignity