Venting the fact that SI exists is torturous.

[goredpet]

how cruel to be forced into life and to be wired to do anything you can to avoid letting go. I hate that no matter what I do, my brain is working against itself. too fucked up to happily stay but biologically wired to be scared to leave. there is no room in the middle for peace. I am just trapped between the fear of the next day and the fear of my last day. I wish I could've never been born at all

 

[Defenestration]

how cruel to be forced into life and to be wired to do anything you can to avoid letting go. I hate that no matter what I do, my brain is working against itself. too fucked up to happily stay but biologically wired to be scared to leave. there is no room in the middle for peace. I am just trapped between the fear of the next day and the fear of my last day. I wish I could've never been born at all

Very good written.
I think thé same

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

The same with breathing, being forced to live being different, aging, and so much more... It's so cruel to be put in something like this in the world, especially when you don't want to be here... Why is the body so damn complex anyways yet so difficult at the same time, despite its complexities...

 

[ma0]

I wish there was some way to functionally destroy SI. I've been trying to make my life as miserable as possible to rewire my brain but nothing's really changed.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I commiserate. My life is mental torture but my fear of dying is immense. It's quite the conundrum

 

[SilentSadness]

It really is. There is basically no way to die peacefully in this world, every life ends with suffering. We are prisoners in this world, we are confined by the arbitrary limitations of our body from physical pain to mental agony. The body is a vessel through which others can hurt and torment you. We are forced to accept the current situation regardless of the reality since we have evolved to be ignorant and cruel. Evolution is hopeless. We are not able to die since we're prisoners, guilty with no chance of proving innocence. You are alone in this world sadly, no one can help you here. No one wants to anyway.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it torturous to suffer in this existence, I personally wish I never existed more than anything. But anyway I wish you the best, it's cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I hate that I was forced into existence. I never would've been trapped in this problem of desperately wanting to end my life while simultaneously being scared of doing it. I will never understand how anyone can bring someone into existence when it's certain they will suffer.

 

[soonnotkoei]

well ofcourse, if si didnt exist, i wouldnt be here typing this reply. its just unfair. you finally make your way to the top of a high building to jump and boom, no you dont. the body is unfortunately just hardwired to do this, there is no way around it.

 

[Richard Langford]

I commiserate. My life is mental torture but my fear of dying is immense. It's quite the conundrum

Bravery is a considerable concern. Hence why I'm personally working on something simple (like drugs) that doesn't involve a lot of contrieved steps. I wish that "working on" was easier though.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I agree so much. I hate SI and how torturous the human body is when it comes to preserving its survival for as long as possible even though we all have to die anyway. Plus, death itself isn't a harm to the being who is dead but unfortunately the dying process has a lot of harm to it due to SI. It'd be so nice if SI didn't exist

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Bravery is a considerable concern. Hence why I'm personally working on something simple (like drugs) that doesn't involve a lot of contrieved steps. I wish that "working on" was easier though.

Unfortunatley overdosing isn't a reliable method and you could end up worse off with organ damage.

 

[Richard Langford]

Unfortunatley overdosing isn't a reliable method and you could end up worse off with organ damage.

Possibly. However, with enough F it'll probably do the trick as I have zero tolerance. Addicts pass every day from it.

 

[sorrymyfault]

how cruel to be forced into life and to be wired to do anything you can to avoid letting go. I hate that no matter what I do, my brain is working against itself. too fucked up to happily stay but biologically wired to be scared to leave. there is no room in the middle for peace. I am just trapped between the fear of the next day and the fear of my last day. I wish I could've never been born at all

It's insane how badly designed the homosapien is, or how much this world has abused our nature from the higher ups financial gain.

 

[Valhala]

There were some members of this forum who even denied the existence of SI. Funny, really..