Mkeblair
Member
- Aug 12, 2024
- 32
I know for me, when I drink (I'm an alcoholic who has been trying to quit for several months), my CTB thoughts are EXTREMELY heightened. Does anyone else notice that their desire to end it all is greatly increased when they're drinking and/or are under the influence of something?
I mean, sober, I want to CTB most of the time, as that's just how I've always been, however, when I'm buzzed/drunk, I have actually sat here with the barrel of one of my guns in my mouth, contemplating why I don't have the balls to just pull the trigger and be done, and I just cry.... Like a bitch....
I mean, sober, I want to CTB most of the time, as that's just how I've always been, however, when I'm buzzed/drunk, I have actually sat here with the barrel of one of my guns in my mouth, contemplating why I don't have the balls to just pull the trigger and be done, and I just cry.... Like a bitch....