Justaroguegear
Tired
- Mar 11, 2020
- 79
I just realized that there's nothing to be done. No fixing anything. It's all a great big lie and almost everyone's in on it. It's hammered into our psyche since we are children, and the ones who do it don't even know what they are doing because they were just programmed to do the same. There's no escape, only death. Once you start being honest, and I mean really honest, you start running into a lot of issues. You're not supposed to be truthful, at all. Very few true people exist and the rest are all in on it. And it's very hard to find someone you can trust with your deepest, darkest thoughts. It has to be this way since civilization is just founded on a bunch of lies. Since the conception of agriculture, the first caveman that wanted to be lazy and plant a bunch of crops, that's when the greed really started. Once survival became less of an issue humans truly started on the path of pure evil. Because greed is built into every living thing, it's what works, it's what reproduces more and ends up being represented the most. It's the innate cruelty of existence. Being selfish and terrible and a monster is the most successful thing a species can be.
And the brainwashing starts at the beginning, since we're little. That we need to rely on all these artificial things, we need soap and medicine and processed foods, and drugs and every comfort of modern society. But we don't, as animals we are much stronger than that. We can take so much punishment and still live and still keep going, it's incredible. It's what we were built to do. Survive. But no, nowadays we are conditioned to be soft, to be reliant on the system. We are taught to believe in religion, or the innate goodness of life and light, that the universe is fair at the end of the day, in one way or another. It's not like that by accident. It's what built this great big society, the quantity over quality, the animalistic desire to make more of yourself and spread your twisted code combined with the cleverness of a self aware being. Humans are the biggest monsters out there by far, and most aren't even aware of it. And the only way to keep it all growing is to max out production and assign as little freedom as possible to each individual.
We brainwash our own and lock them up in concrete cages and make them work to their bones and drive themselves crazy until they perpetuate the system on their own. Because making something out of nothing gives the illusion that you will know that thing better than anyone and you'll be able trust it and it will be your little slave to the end, your very own true friend that will be loyal to you no matter what. But it never works out like that, once the thing realizes the deal it's been given, it revolts against the thing that created it. It ends up escaping from it as far as possible only to do the same shit all over again, thinking that it's free. It's what the system has perfected in creating, just a bunch of weak willed herd animals that barely know where to go once they are left alone. Even if they can't tolerate the herd anymore and they run away they will always return. They've been conditioned to it by the rest of the conspirators and most don't even know they are part of it. They have "good" intentions and want to help every herd member be a good servant and help them cope with the massive pyramid scheme that they've been forced into. A completely selfish act that is only there to keep all the livestock from remembering the harsh reality, keep them sedated in their dream. Keep them in their world of pink castles and rainbows.
They know, whether consciously or not, that anyone leaving that delusion will have a very very bad time, especially if they get stuck between true freedom and the chains that hold them. Screaming in confusion, asking why is everyone lying to me? That's where therapy and medication and wellness and all that comes in. Supplements, substances, alcohol, weed.. Whatever makes you forget and keeps you functioning and upbeat. They do their best to keep you in your lane, the lane that is productive or at least not harmful for this house of cards that humanity built. It runs so deep that anyone that seems to have figured out a small part of it is actually a bad person to trust and confide in. Because they don't want to get close to the truth, they just realized the system was a little unfair to them, and cry about how weed isn't legal yet and other insignificant details that they would like to change. But they don't really want fairness, and would be just as bad as the ones in power now. They just want better conditions for themselves. And those who get what they want, have the system they like, love to play games with these groups that often have opposing views. They love to polarize them and set them against in each other, and have them fight and kill each other in the most twisted ways, because that's all the entertainment they get, they reached the limits of what a human can get out of this life, and the only thing left to play with is other humans.
So all these posers that saw a glimpse of some unfairness, and want a better world, are very dangerous. Try making them see the extent of it and they will instantly turn on you and immediately excommunicate you. When they see they can't bullshit you anymore and you start speaking some real truth instead of slightly more honest lies, they instantly shut you down. You're not supposed to be actually honest. They are screaming at you silently to shut up. It can drive someone who is doing badly absolutely insane. They either lie to themselves until they can fit in again, pretend to be ok, or jump off the deep and completely lose themselves. And I'm heading towards the edge of the cliff at maximum speed but in slow motion. I can feel the fakeness of everything and it's simply soul crushing. There's very few safe people that you can share these taboo things with. I might have 2 or 3, but for someone else with even less luck, it's probably impossible to have any. And the loneliness can tear you apart.
It's not a problem with the system, the people in power, or even the species itself. It's just the nature of the world. Uncaring and cold. Just a bunch of matter trying to keep entropy away, trying to keep order in a system that tends towards chaos. And it's the most painful thing possible. And we're all too aware of it. But fellow humans will deny it, and tell you that you are a liar and you're just mentally ill and that you need help, and you just wanting to not suffer, instead of working yourself to death for society is edgy nonsense. The conspiracy runs all the way up to the brain.
Heavy psychedelic use is taboo even among drug users. It is known to drive you crazy and ruin your life and so on. But it's not the substance that messes with you, it's just getting too close to the truth. Having a more realistic view of everything. Thinking enough about reality will always lead to the conclusion that it sucks more than you thought before. And that's where the harmful side of this drug comes in. You stop caring. You stop caring about anything because it doesn't matter anyway. It sucks infinitely. You're going to stop being a good herd member, a good worker, a productive member of society. And when that happens and even your friends turn on you because you became too honest and came too close to breaking down the lie they live in, it harms you too in the end. They won't let you be anymore. They can't just let a rogue person live in their backyard.
But I'm a clever cookie and I'll try to keep it is going as long as possible. Once you learn to let go and face the reality and let go of lies, there's an opportunity to be free. If you go undetected, and fool everyone and take part of their little game, and turn it on them, it's possible to keep it going for a bit. I think I have been lucky to have the chance to set myself free, at least for a little while. I want to see how far I can take it, how much I can get away with. Once it's over and they got me, and it's time to die, a huge relief will come. I'll finally be at peace once I accepted my inevitable defeat.
I could have that relief now or later. But why not see how far this monkey can jump before it dies. Being aware of my flaws, my limits and other people's limits. There's a great potential here. Psychedelics also have a strong anti depressant effect, and I'm well aware that it's not natural, that without them I would quickly return to misery. But so what? Artificial or not, I'm having a hell of a time. Just playing the system while I can. Playing my friends too, I think I managed to stop myself from being too honest with them just in time. All while being more honest with myself.
Many die in agony, take their own life, or fuck up and die without ever knowing what was really going, what they did to deserve all of it, and it's a very saddening though. But I wonder if it's better to see through all it and finally understand how much it truly sucks or would it have been better to never know at all? But that's a futile question, the cat's out of the bag.
Either way this is the last good place in this world I think. A small forum on the edge of the internet, where you can still be truly honest.
And the brainwashing starts at the beginning, since we're little. That we need to rely on all these artificial things, we need soap and medicine and processed foods, and drugs and every comfort of modern society. But we don't, as animals we are much stronger than that. We can take so much punishment and still live and still keep going, it's incredible. It's what we were built to do. Survive. But no, nowadays we are conditioned to be soft, to be reliant on the system. We are taught to believe in religion, or the innate goodness of life and light, that the universe is fair at the end of the day, in one way or another. It's not like that by accident. It's what built this great big society, the quantity over quality, the animalistic desire to make more of yourself and spread your twisted code combined with the cleverness of a self aware being. Humans are the biggest monsters out there by far, and most aren't even aware of it. And the only way to keep it all growing is to max out production and assign as little freedom as possible to each individual.
We brainwash our own and lock them up in concrete cages and make them work to their bones and drive themselves crazy until they perpetuate the system on their own. Because making something out of nothing gives the illusion that you will know that thing better than anyone and you'll be able trust it and it will be your little slave to the end, your very own true friend that will be loyal to you no matter what. But it never works out like that, once the thing realizes the deal it's been given, it revolts against the thing that created it. It ends up escaping from it as far as possible only to do the same shit all over again, thinking that it's free. It's what the system has perfected in creating, just a bunch of weak willed herd animals that barely know where to go once they are left alone. Even if they can't tolerate the herd anymore and they run away they will always return. They've been conditioned to it by the rest of the conspirators and most don't even know they are part of it. They have "good" intentions and want to help every herd member be a good servant and help them cope with the massive pyramid scheme that they've been forced into. A completely selfish act that is only there to keep all the livestock from remembering the harsh reality, keep them sedated in their dream. Keep them in their world of pink castles and rainbows.
They know, whether consciously or not, that anyone leaving that delusion will have a very very bad time, especially if they get stuck between true freedom and the chains that hold them. Screaming in confusion, asking why is everyone lying to me? That's where therapy and medication and wellness and all that comes in. Supplements, substances, alcohol, weed.. Whatever makes you forget and keeps you functioning and upbeat. They do their best to keep you in your lane, the lane that is productive or at least not harmful for this house of cards that humanity built. It runs so deep that anyone that seems to have figured out a small part of it is actually a bad person to trust and confide in. Because they don't want to get close to the truth, they just realized the system was a little unfair to them, and cry about how weed isn't legal yet and other insignificant details that they would like to change. But they don't really want fairness, and would be just as bad as the ones in power now. They just want better conditions for themselves. And those who get what they want, have the system they like, love to play games with these groups that often have opposing views. They love to polarize them and set them against in each other, and have them fight and kill each other in the most twisted ways, because that's all the entertainment they get, they reached the limits of what a human can get out of this life, and the only thing left to play with is other humans.
So all these posers that saw a glimpse of some unfairness, and want a better world, are very dangerous. Try making them see the extent of it and they will instantly turn on you and immediately excommunicate you. When they see they can't bullshit you anymore and you start speaking some real truth instead of slightly more honest lies, they instantly shut you down. You're not supposed to be actually honest. They are screaming at you silently to shut up. It can drive someone who is doing badly absolutely insane. They either lie to themselves until they can fit in again, pretend to be ok, or jump off the deep and completely lose themselves. And I'm heading towards the edge of the cliff at maximum speed but in slow motion. I can feel the fakeness of everything and it's simply soul crushing. There's very few safe people that you can share these taboo things with. I might have 2 or 3, but for someone else with even less luck, it's probably impossible to have any. And the loneliness can tear you apart.
It's not a problem with the system, the people in power, or even the species itself. It's just the nature of the world. Uncaring and cold. Just a bunch of matter trying to keep entropy away, trying to keep order in a system that tends towards chaos. And it's the most painful thing possible. And we're all too aware of it. But fellow humans will deny it, and tell you that you are a liar and you're just mentally ill and that you need help, and you just wanting to not suffer, instead of working yourself to death for society is edgy nonsense. The conspiracy runs all the way up to the brain.
Heavy psychedelic use is taboo even among drug users. It is known to drive you crazy and ruin your life and so on. But it's not the substance that messes with you, it's just getting too close to the truth. Having a more realistic view of everything. Thinking enough about reality will always lead to the conclusion that it sucks more than you thought before. And that's where the harmful side of this drug comes in. You stop caring. You stop caring about anything because it doesn't matter anyway. It sucks infinitely. You're going to stop being a good herd member, a good worker, a productive member of society. And when that happens and even your friends turn on you because you became too honest and came too close to breaking down the lie they live in, it harms you too in the end. They won't let you be anymore. They can't just let a rogue person live in their backyard.
But I'm a clever cookie and I'll try to keep it is going as long as possible. Once you learn to let go and face the reality and let go of lies, there's an opportunity to be free. If you go undetected, and fool everyone and take part of their little game, and turn it on them, it's possible to keep it going for a bit. I think I have been lucky to have the chance to set myself free, at least for a little while. I want to see how far I can take it, how much I can get away with. Once it's over and they got me, and it's time to die, a huge relief will come. I'll finally be at peace once I accepted my inevitable defeat.
I could have that relief now or later. But why not see how far this monkey can jump before it dies. Being aware of my flaws, my limits and other people's limits. There's a great potential here. Psychedelics also have a strong anti depressant effect, and I'm well aware that it's not natural, that without them I would quickly return to misery. But so what? Artificial or not, I'm having a hell of a time. Just playing the system while I can. Playing my friends too, I think I managed to stop myself from being too honest with them just in time. All while being more honest with myself.
Many die in agony, take their own life, or fuck up and die without ever knowing what was really going, what they did to deserve all of it, and it's a very saddening though. But I wonder if it's better to see through all it and finally understand how much it truly sucks or would it have been better to never know at all? But that's a futile question, the cat's out of the bag.
Either way this is the last good place in this world I think. A small forum on the edge of the internet, where you can still be truly honest.
