Necrosis

Necrosis

En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
Feb 23, 2023
69
I woke up from a horrible time to having a lovely morning. It was dark outside still but I realized it's snowing. It's snowing beautifully.
I think the only time I am truly happy and content is when it is snowing, and the ground is covered, and I know if I feel like it I can walk through it in the woods and watch it fall or lay in it.

But it doesn't snow as much as it used to compared to when I was a kid. I watch it lessen steadily as I grow older. I watch it start later in the year AFTER the holidays and last only 3 months if I'm lucky. I feel like I am losing one of the few things I live for.

It does not help that my partner and I have been talking about plans to move for years. They understand I want, no, NEED snow. They are adamant about wanting to buy land in Virginia to be close to family. Our compromise was that we will buy land in high elevation in hopes of getting snow....This is not reassuring to me. I live in the midwest. This snow won't compete. I won't be getting the blizzards I've been patiently waiting for again every couple years. I half joke (it is barely a joke, almost completely serious) about just living in Virginia during the summer/spring and staying in my old area or possibly more up north during the fall/winter. I just don't know what to do. My partner refuses to live in my state, which I understand. I am not forcing anybody. I just truly have no idea how I will cope.

I am watching the snow now, crying. It has been so long since I cried. It has been so hard to lately, but now I can't stop. The snowfall is starting to slow (it will pick up again, it is supposed to snow nearly all day) but I feel like my true love is leaving me. I am filled with so much grief. I am not familiar with all of the U.S.. I don't know which states between the midwest and east coast get the most snowfall, and have the forests me and my partner need. I don't know where I could even possibly suggest as an alternative for us, so that we could both be content. I feel like I just have to accept my loss. This will take such a toll on my mental health eventually if I do move. They had asked me last night, "you dont want to have a garden with me?" I said I did which meant I wouldn't be giving up on life. But I could not also tell them I want a garden of snow. I want to watch our plants sleep and awake every year. I want to see our naked trees covered in blankets of snow. I want to have fires with them at night as we watch the snow fall. I do not know how much longer my partner will have with me if I leave where me and my other love meet every year.

Min kjære, du holder meg rundt år etter år. Du finner meg i mørket, når jeg er kald. Når vi omfavner blir jeg varmere. Hvis jeg forlater deg, må jeg finne at kroppen min blir kald for å huske deg.
 
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voidstar

voidstar

time heals nothing.
Jan 7, 2024
137
I can relate, snow just has this effect on me as well.
Sadly were I live there's also less and less snow each year which makes me even more melancholic in the winter. It's the only thing I'm really looking forward to.
 
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Krokodile

Krokodile

Member
Nov 18, 2023
68
I myself could do without and I wish I could send all the snow from here to there. In summer I can at least walk in the forests, in winter there is nothing to do but sit at home and plan CTB.

I liked clearing the snow from the driveway as a child, but no need for that either now that I live in an apartment building, other people do it.
 
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Necrosis

Necrosis

En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
Feb 23, 2023
69
I myself could do without and I wish I could send all the snow from here to there. In summer I can at least walk in the forests, in winter there is nothing to do but sit at home and plan CTB.

I liked clearing the snow from the driveway as a child, but no need for that either now that I live in an apartment building, other people do it.
I understand how the snow causes things like seasonal depression. So many find it uncomfortable to be exposed to. I find it natural to be exposed to elements. I love walking through the forest in the snow and seeing the animal tracks and trails. I would happily take all your snow away.
 
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S

Scythe

Lost in a delusion
Sep 5, 2022
535
I love the snow too, really sucks that my area's getting clearly warmer and warmer each year. Global warming seems to have been speeding up a lot where I live. One of my top methods is to go outside and freeze to death in a blizzard. I think it's the way snow tones out the colors and makes most of the world white for me. I find it peaceful and serene.

I also give the suggestion of looking for land in the countryside, snow tends to be heavier and doesn't melt longer there.
 
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Necrosis

Necrosis

En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
Feb 23, 2023
69
I love the snow too, really sucks that my area's getting clearly warmer and warmer each year. Global warming seems to have been speeding up a lot where I live. One of my top methods is to go outside and freeze to death in a blizzard. I think it's the way snow tones out the colors and makes most of the world white for me. I find it peaceful and serene.

I also give the suggestion of looking for land in the countryside, snow tends to be heavier and doesn't melt longer there.
I do plan to live rural no matter what. I also want to peacefully drift in the snow. I think this is why I am so uncomfortable losing it. I wish there were places with more trees and snow for me. I feel so helpless to global warming. Truly heartbreaking.
 
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voidstar

voidstar

time heals nothing.
Jan 7, 2024
137
Just as I was thinking about this thread again it started to snow; not sure why I'm rambling on about this now but it brought me some joy and I thought I'd share.
It's not much and it's barely starting to cover the ground but it looks so mesmerizing and peaceful. ❄️ I might go for a late night walk outside later.
 
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Necrosis

Necrosis

En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
Feb 23, 2023
69
Just as I was thinking about this thread again it started to snow; not sure why I'm rambling on about this now but it brought me some joy and I thought I'd share.
It's not much and it's barely starting to cover the ground but it looks so mesmerizing and peaceful. ❄️ I might go for a late night walk outside later.
I'm seeing this much later, but I hope you were content with your snowfall. I'm already itching for cold weather again.
 

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