Venting The cause of my own loneliness

[hopeless302]

I complain about being lonely sometimes, but it's totally my fault. I don't make small talk. I don't text back. I don't go to events I'm invited to. I hardly even leave the house unless it's work or health related. And on the off chance that I happen to be social, I usually feel exhausted after a while and want to go home. It's like a constant conflict between wanting human contact sometimes, and wanting to be completely isolated and alone. I'm a living disaster, man.

What gives me comfort is knowing that the day I ctb is growing ever closer, and all of my trivial human emotions will be meaningless in time.

 

[jodes2]

Keep trying, it's worth it. You'll get satisfaction I hope you give it a good chance and change your mind about CTB

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a tiring and frustrating situation to be in. I also find so much comfort in the thought of being gone from this world and everything being forgotten about, to me there's really nothing more ideal. But I wish you the best.

 

[lonelyguy]

I know the feeling. Even when I'm around people and I see them laughing and enjoying themselves, I just feel empty inside. I think what's the point of any of this.

 

[Shivali]

Yes. It sounds like me and my life. I can feel you

 

[Little T]

I'm right there with you. I have never been good with people, ALWAYS socially retarded. Work/Socially I must always wear a mask around the "smiling happy people" and it is exhausting! I always know when my mask begins to slip-> panic attack ->run for nearest exit. And I am over 60 yr old. I'm fucking tired! Brightside, I will ctb very soon.
Maybe meds & counseling will work for you. Even though I did not have any luck I wish you the Best.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm 100% alone. Maybe what differs in my situation is that I don't get asked to do anything because there's no one in my life to ask me to do anything. All my family has died in the past few years. It was a pretty small family. The only people I ever talk to are store clerks. I don't blame myself for my situation. Circumstances of life have brought me to this point. I guess it was just the Cosmos' plan for me.

 

[almaranthine]

I generally feel as you do and completely blame myself for my lack of friends and support. However, I know that throughout the years, I really, really did make an effort trying to get to know people and make friendships. These relationships just never became more than casual acquaintances though due to the nature of the workplace... people come and go. Outside of work, I didn't really have opportunities to meet people, so looking back I don't really see what I could have done much differently given my circumstances. I feel like the older I get, the harder it is to make genuine friendships, as most people already have close friends and lack the time to invest in a "new" person.