Story The cause of my depression in 5 minutes

[Sherri]

Ok so I don't like to tell how i first got depressed , so I will leave you with this 2 small clip to let you know how it all started and when my mental state crumbled and my heart crumbled into a thousand pieces. I rather express my emotions through music, of course there's so much more than this, but it all started with something similar to these 2 videos…took me 5 years to recover all this and much more that my poor eyes have seen.

 

[Judah]

Oh, you have had a very strong experience, a disappointment in love is quite overwhelming and I do not wish it on anyone, I have also lived it and it was quite devastating for me, I hope that with time you can find something better for yourself or that makes you feel better. On the other hand, I think the music video that best serves to describe my story is this one



Hugs!

 

[WadeingThru]

I've waded through enough relationships to know they are over rated. Don't trust anyone when love is envolved. The pain is real.

 

[som1]

thank you for sharing these videos, I'm glad you are over this even tho it took 5 years, u r very patient. sadly I'm not patient like you.

 

[chocolatebar]

How did you recover? What has changes in you? Or, maybe, was it just time that passed and faded the memories?

 

[whywere]

Ok so I don't like to tell how i first got depressed , so I will leave you with this 2 small clip to let you know how it all started and when my mental state crumbled and my heart crumbled into a thousand pieces. I rather express my emotions through music, of course there's so much more than this, but it all started with something similar to these 2 videos…took me 5 years to recover all this and much more that my poor eyes have seen.

@Sherri, my heart broke in two reading and hearing about you. You are such a kind and caring person that you only deserve the best. Speaking of your music is always so heart felt and awesome to listen to.

You are among friends here and I hope that you find the comfort here that I have.

Walter

 

[Foresight]

Heartbreak stays with us. I still have dreams of my first fiance leaving me even though I'm happily married and have no hang up on the first guy. It's definitely an impactful experience. I'm happy you've found love again.

 

[Sherri]

Oh, you have had a very strong experience, a disappointment in love is quite overwhelming and I do not wish it on anyone, I have also lived it and it was quite devastating for me, I hope that with time you can find something better for yourself or that makes you feel better. On the other hand, I think the music video that best serves to describe my story is this one



Hugs!

This was just a movie opener typed basically I've been through hell, after 5 years of being a nun I've been dating someone for 5 years. Took me t years to be ready to love again or let someone back i to my life, more like that. Wish you all the best too.

Heartbreak stays with us. I still have dreams of my first fiance leaving me even though I'm happily married and have no hang up on the first guy. It's definitely an impactful experience. I'm happy you've found love again.

Same as me, I was engaged and found out the worst way possible, it took me 5 years to let someone back in my life, I've been dating for 2 years, but I'm still in love with that prick. Glad you have someone love does help. I know we gonna get some anti love posts. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect all of those views.

How did you recover? What has changes in you? Or, maybe, was it just time that passed and faded the memories?

Well short story cause writing is reliving it, it took me 5 years of suicide, depression, other way around, I was engaged with him took me 5 years to throw that ring in the ocean, I dont care how expensive it was, didn't want any pawn money out of that. After 5 years I came here and started therapy at the same time, I came here to die, meds helped to stand up, find pleasure in watching tv, even taking a shower was a huge task for me, that's how low I was, and I was always so good at taking care of how I looked, haven't moisturised my skin in 5 years, got older, much older than I am, I look at pic of myself from the past and now and just say who was that happy girl, surrounded by friends. Memories still remain , but started to fade, I'm getting better , have a bf for 2 years now, but I know I will never be the same again, I wish I could tell you the whole story. I could make a movie out of it really. Dunno which stand you are. But it's not the fact of having a bf that helps, is becoming Better with the meds, SS helped tremendously, more than you can imagine, and I will never abandon the house that saved me and will always got my back if I need it. Sorry for the long post if you made it this far lol. Hugs want to know the funniest thing? is that after all he did I still love him after all these years. A woman's heart can bear many secrets.

Heartbreak stays with us. I still have dreams of my first fiance leaving me even though I'm happily married and have no hang up on the first guy. It's definitely an impactful experience. I'm happy you've found love again.

Thank you my sweet soul, dream and you will achieve. Everthing in life i achieved was by dreaming, I'm a romantic, and I can see you are one too. Unfortunately everthing us online these days took me ages and lots of nos and boring dinners till someone caught my attention. Good luck hun

thank you for sharing these videos, I'm glad you are over this even tho it took 5 years, u r very patient. sadly I'm not patient like you.

I wasn't patient, I wasn't ready, and I was a wreck he destroyed it all and left me to glue it all up, like I mentioned bellow I threw the Engadgment ring in the oven , getting money for that was bad karma. If I would tell you all story you would also agree why I waited 5 years, I had many suicide attempts , my arms are all stiched up, one has 34 stiches, I cut so deep to get a main artery I just made a fool of myself and now need to wait 2 more years to have a tattoo to cover it. Hope you have someone, having a bf doesn't save you like I mentioned, that's not the point of my thread. It's just that I've been through hell to get were I am Now, thanks to my doc, ss, and now my bf for 2 years who knows everthing about my depression. All the best to you. Hugs.
Just one more thing to avoid misunderstandings, I'm not saying love is the cure to everything, not even close. I just wanted to share a bit of what hot me here to ss by expressing myself through music.

 

[chocolatebar]

Sorry for making you relive all this. No matter how healed we are, the scars will always be there...
You say that you still love him, but have you asked yourself if you love him, as the person he is now, or if you love the still image that remained in your mind, like an old photograph? Maybe this person doesn't exist anywhere else.

Sorry if it did hurt you. I'm a bit blunt with words and never learned to be smooth

btw, you've been around here for 5 years? Maybe we've stumbled upon each other in the past and we have no idea

 

[Sherri]

I

Sorry for making you relive all this. No matter how healed we are, the scars will always be there...
You say that you still love him, but have you asked yourself if you love him, as the person he is now, or if you love the still image that remained in your mind, like an old photograph? Maybe this person doesn't exist anywhere else.

Sorry if it did hurt you. I'm a bit blunt with words and never learned to be smooth

btw, you've been around here for 5 years? Maybe we've stumbled upon each other in the past and we have no idea

joined here same year as you . My world started to crumble in 2015, after that was all downhill until I was able to glue myself make myself look human. Yes I do love him still. Would I leave my current one ? No way. Né cheated on me with a 35 year older lady than him. He was prob 24 at the time, he used that sugar mama to buy his way to America, and is using that lady to have expensive cars and expensive gifts, something I never game him, I always said we are now sharing a life I can't afford all alone you need to chip in, I got my first wake up call when I got him a box of chocolates and decorated the floor with petals and the bed. He arrives home and has the audacity to tell me I though you were giving me the iPhone 6 plus.. was huge at the time. So now he's just waiting to get his American passport tge American woman knows for sure he sees girls his age but likes to have a sex boy toy. As soon as he got all this, he will keep half ler cent of what it's hers, this the crook I was living with. It was me buying food, paying rent all. I found out the affair on a usb stick he left near his bedside table I'm like lemme see if he has any nice music, there was a folder called, USA embassy proof. So there they were, a kid with a 65 year old woman naked in bed kissing to show the embassy, having romantic dinners always taking pics to show the embassy their love. Well the embassy is stupid, how can a 24 year old boy fall in love with s 64 year old woman? So yeah now you have the whole facts, no wonder I went nuts, she even looks more age now prob gid knows what he's doing to her, I do check his fb from time to time but now I'm string not to let me get affected, I just wish that woman opened her eyes, he will keep half of what it's hers and she will be left alone cayse he took it all. So welcome abroad mg life, maybe now you understand why I went tottsly sporadic. For many years. Those photos will never be erased from my mind, tge love of my life, it's not about age, it's gathering evidence and keep that in my house, I kicked him out, he supported him for months until his 90 days fiance was done. He never once told me I'm sorry at the end. All I needed to have closure if such thing exist was I'm sorry I broke your heart , it wasn't a lie, what we had. But I had bigger plans. Sorry for my grammar mistakes. Have a good night. Now everyone will know somethings I didn't want public or maybe some more women will come forward. Hugs sweetie.
Please bare in mind that age he just a number and we are free to date whatever age we want. But in his case, he is abusing that lady, she never shows up in every single Photo of him, not even when they got married.

 

[katagiri83]

That's a lot that you've been through. Wish you can feel loved without all the fear & loathing now.

 

[Sherri]

That's a lot that you've been through. Wish you can feel loved without all the fear & loathing now.

Loved I do feel. But still feel down sometimes just have to learn to live like this, thinking about quitting my anti depressants and a few others, to others reading this dont do it whithout ur doc. In my case it's time to know if I can leave with use these pills. But not xanax yet. Thank you for your kind words m seems like I took a heavy burden from my shoulders. I gave hints in the past but never really told my story, thise 2 videos I posted mean a lot to me.

 

[katagiri83]

Loved I do feel. But still feel down sometimes just have to learn to live like this, thinking about quitting my anti depressants and a few others, to others reading this dont do it whithout ur doc. In my case it's time to know if I can leave with use these pills. But not xanax yet. Thank you for your kind words m seems like I took a heavy burden from my shoulders. I gave hints in the past but never really told my story, thise 2 videos I posted mean a lot to me.

Coming off antidepressants can be brutal, hope you have medical support for that. Then again most doctor or psych have no fragging idea or too lazy to help someone to taper off. As for the benzo, although the tapering is hard, but not impossible; depends how long you have been on them… I do have some experience if you want some opinions.

The hurts & scars of betrayal in love can be like old wounds that are still sore. On the flip side, vulnerabilities are also what brought people together (sometimes… I guess). Hey, no need to carry the world on your shoulder (yep, so much easier to say than done)! Just my 2c of opinions, that's all ;)

 

[chocolatebar]

I

joined here same year as you . My world started to crumble in 2015, after that was all downhill until I was able to glue myself make myself look human. Yes I do love him still. Would I leave my current one ? No way. Né cheated on me with a 35 year older lady than him. He was prob 24 at the time, he used that sugar mama to buy his way to America, and is using that lady to have expensive cars and expensive gifts, something I never game him, I always said we are now sharing a life I can't afford all alone you need to chip in, I got my first wake up call when I got him a box of chocolates and decorated the floor with petals and the bed. He arrives home and has the audacity to tell me I though you were giving me the iPhone 6 plus.. was huge at the time. So now he's just waiting to get his American passport tge American woman knows for sure he sees girls his age but likes to have a sex boy toy. As soon as he got all this, he will keep half ler cent of what it's hers, this the crook I was living with. It was me buying food, paying rent all. I found out the affair on a usb stick he left near his bedside table I'm like lemme see if he has any nice music, there was a folder called, USA embassy proof. So there they were, a kid with a 65 year old woman naked in bed kissing to show the embassy, having romantic dinners always taking pics to show the embassy their love. Well the embassy is stupid, how can a 24 year old boy fall in love with s 64 year old woman? So yeah now you have the whole facts, no wonder I went nuts, she even looks more age now prob gid knows what he's doing to her, I do check his fb from time to time but now I'm string not to let me get affected, I just wish that woman opened her eyes, he will keep half of what it's hers and she will be left alone cayse he took it all. So welcome abroad mg life, maybe now you understand why I went tottsly sporadic. For many years. Those photos will never be erased from my mind, tge love of my life, it's not about age, it's gathering evidence and keep that in my house, I kicked him out, he supported him for months until his 90 days fiance was done. He never once told me I'm sorry at the end. All I needed to have closure if such thing exist was I'm sorry I broke your heart , it wasn't a lie, what we had. But I had bigger plans. Sorry for my grammar mistakes. Have a good night. Now everyone will know somethings I didn't want public or maybe some more women will come forward. Hugs sweetie.
Please bare in mind that age he just a number and we are free to date whatever age we want. But in his case, he is abusing that lady, she never shows up in every single Photo of him, not even when they got married.

I'm really, really sorry for stirring up all this. I can get the whole picture now, enough to feel a bit of your pain.
I tried to be too rational, I think, but love is far beyond rationality

Here, have a warm hug

You're a friend to me and I can't stand to see you in pain. I know it's not a good thing to get so attached to people here, but I can't help myself

 

[Sherri]

I'm really, really sorry for stirring up all this. I can get the whole picture now, enough to feel a bit of your pain.
I tried to be too rational, I think, but love is far beyond rationality

Here, have a warm hug

You're a friend to me and I can't stand to see you in pain. I know it's not a good thing to get so attached to people here, but I can't help myself

Thank you, your arm was felt. Hugs angel

 

[KimKevorkian]

I admire your courage in expressing, and re-living, this nightmare. I am so sorry you experienced such profound betrayal. I've been there a couple of times, though your former beau takes the cake as scoundrel/opportunist.
Personally, I would hyper-ventilate and felt like a sea anchor was in my chest. I was so upset not with the betrayers, the act of betrayal, but my lack of radar.

I'm reminded of a very well-known gospel singer who is gorgeous too. She had kids with her preacher husband, flourishing careers. One day she gets home and sees him in flagrante with another man. My mom's first husband abandoned her with a toddler--and my mom was movie star gorgeous naturally. yet never acted like it--actually she never believed it as she was verbally and emotionally abused by her sister and brother until she was 18, told she a "big, fat, ugly slob". This from someone who used to date Sean Connery and was pursued endlessly by some of the most desirable men of the era. And she had a wicked wit, incredible artistic capacity. He still chased tail. What a boludo! My own father was just back from an overseas business trip when I was about a year old. He had put his suitcase on the bed and my mom opened it and unpacked it. In a pocket, she found some condoms (and they never used condoms). "What are these doing in here?" she asked him pointedly. He replied in his brash Bronx (New York) accent, "I guess they came with the suitcase when I bought it." Jesus. What balls, huh? My mom knew it was over right then and there. There's just no telling. There are good, loyal mates out there, and plenty of women cheat on men too btw--but I can't deal with the emotional pain of betrayal if ever that were to happen again. So, I feed the hummingbirds and clack away on the keyboard, finding solace in the overwhelmingly wonderful SS community. Love your way.

 

[TheWood]

I'm sorry for what you have suffered. Discovering a betrayal (in any context) is a bad blow. But let me tell you something, you saved yourself. Imagine when your ex will leave the old lady for a richer and younger one than her (assuming he is already cheating on her). On his part It's clear that there are only economic and prestige interests. Who uses others always makes me sorry

 

[...]

haven't listened because all music now triggers a wave os sadness and loneliness but I've gone through heartbreak and it is the most devastating, crippling thing that can happen. I just don't think I am as strong as you though as I can see it taking as long to recover also.