Y
Yamrajsimp
Member
- May 2, 2021
- 6
I am a middle class woman in India and money is always a problem. I have to go to a different city after just coming back from there due to all the covid bullshit for my post graduate studies and I am freaking out about the expenses. Even ordering a simple meal or getting a taxi is something I have to think about 100 times. And, then graduate level academic pressure on top of that. I have been crying everyday for months now.
And everyday I keep coming back to my little list of things I need for a comfortable SN death but I realise, I still need a hefty sum to buy all those things from reputable sources. And, even for this I am too poor. I keep hating myself for not having the balls to hang myself or jump off of somewhere, but I just know I don't have the courage. I did get drunk once and I climbed my 2 story terrace, but it was clear I wouldn't die from that fall. I just wish it was at least easy to die. But nothing can ever be easy.
And everyday I keep coming back to my little list of things I need for a comfortable SN death but I realise, I still need a hefty sum to buy all those things from reputable sources. And, even for this I am too poor. I keep hating myself for not having the balls to hang myself or jump off of somewhere, but I just know I don't have the courage. I did get drunk once and I climbed my 2 story terrace, but it was clear I wouldn't die from that fall. I just wish it was at least easy to die. But nothing can ever be easy.