Venting the bus is so close (yet so far)

[willitpass]

unless the postal service is delayed for some reason i should get my SN tomorrow, so i should be ctb in about 24 hours, 48 hours if the post is delayed. i'm so excited. i'm a bit nervous but only about failure and the unknown of what is to come next. but i'm excited to leave this life behind. this life has been full of so much suffering and fighting for me. i'm glad that the release is so close. i will be fasting tomorrow in preparation, i was worried i wouldn't be able to but the closer my bus comes the less i've found a need to eat. again this isn't my goodbye post and sorry i've been posting about this so much, i guess it's just helping me process things to type them out

 

[Panna]

If it helps you to get your thoughts in order then it's a good thing, good luck!

 

[willitpass]

here's my plan, just to get my thoughts in order, once again sorry for posting about this so much but my thoughts are racing as i wait for my SN to arrive
-fast all day, maybe some soda to keep my blood sugar up early in the day
-i have one class in tomorrow morning that i will try very hard to attend so as not to raise more red flags to my family, it will also be a nice time to say my final goodbye to several people
-i need to finish up my letters so that is how i will spend my day
-i do not own a scale nor the money to buy one, but i will be bringing a tablespoon measuring spoon up to my room
-if the SN does arrive, i will put on my outfit that i wish to die in
-at around 10:30-11 i will take 600mg of ibuprofen
-11:30-11:45 i will take a double dose of tums
-roughly around midnight i will prepare the SN and take it

 

[Panna]

You're fine, with such little time remaining, many people would be all over the place with their thoughts. Just a thought, but i'd be careful with your goodbyes, not to be paranoid, but it's all too easy to have someone worry over the smallest thing and report it.

 

[willitpass]

Just a thought, but i'd be careful with your goodbyes, not to be paranoid, but it's all too easy to have someone worry over the smallest thing and report it.

my goodbyes will not be obvious, they will be more of me getting to spend time with people and enjoy it, knowing that it is my last time with them. i will not tell them it's goodbye, i will simply enjoy my time with them for myself

 

[willitpass]

i went to my last class, everything felt so normal, it was nice. it was a strange feeling though, everyone kept talking about the party this weekend, and what we're going to be doing in class next week. it was so odd talking about those things when i know i won't be there for them. my SN is on its way, it's out for delivery and should be here in a couple hours. i need to finish my notes but i don't have the energy to be completely honest

 

[Panna]

Reminds me of people who have lost a loved one, or those who have something terminal and theyre simply in shock since the world just keeps moving on. I hope it works out for you man.

 

[Kruger]

Are you not going to get your sn tested to make sure it's the real thing?

 

[Cakes]

I think they've already CTB ?

 

[Meditation guide]

this isn't my goodbye post

Here is their goodbye thread:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/my-bus-is-coming.51619/

 

[Cakes]

Here is their goodbye thread:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/my-bus-is-coming.51619/

Okay thank you. I didn't mean to be insensitive I meant to reply to the comment before mine.