Venting The absolute fuck

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

So late last year I started developing GI issues. I would feel very nauseous, and I'd have horrible stomach cramps. I'd get awful acid reflux, to the point I'd lose my voice, and feel very uncomfortable in general. I'd always been something of a stomach-ache person but this was on a whole new level. One morning in October, I woke up feeling incredibly sick. Not just kind of queasy, I'm talking that vertigo-style, gagging, end-of-the-world type nausea. I hadn't eaten anything crazy so I really couldn't pin down what was wrong.

Long story short, I got an endoscopy scheduled for January. Afterwards, they told me my system was basically a mess. I had ulcers and an inflamed GI tract (from throat to small intestine). I was forced to give up most of my vices - cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, soda, basically everything that makes life worth living. Thinking I was doing all the right things, I've kept that up, and although some of my symptoms have eased up, I've had some pretty bad symptom-relapses. This morning was the worst yet. I've had dreadful nausea and a painful stomach all day, to where it's made me non-functional.

Considering I'm on meds for my condition and have changed my lifestyle so drastically, this is incredibly demotivating. It doesn't look like there's any reliable way to eliminate this completely or ensure it doesn't happen again, either. So I'm just kind of guessing what foods to eat and drinking lots of water, crossing my fingers I don't feel ill again. But this is no way to live, because I'm forever anxious about what I'm eating, and worried about going to sleep since it always hits in the morning.

Just a random vent, but it's ctb fuel for sure. And I was so certain I wasn't even going to consider it anymore. But if this keeps getting happening or God forbid gets worse, it's over for me. I can't deal with it.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

Totally fucking get this. I regurgitate like a Liter and a half a day, no exaggeration. Maybe more... That's with having gallbladder removed. I'm only 33. I've canceled my endoscopy 2x due to my fucked up anxiety bullshit issues, so I have to redo the entire process. Meds are a joke, and you can can barely eat anything, but you still don't even lose weight; or at least I don't for various reasons. Otherwise it's a bad way to lose weight, nutrition, tooth enamel, internal tissue damage/scarring etc.
My only vice is diet pop/soda. It's no way to live and they tell you "lifestyle"... Well when you can't even keep down light greek yogurt you know you're limited. To me that's just ignorance, and hustling-you-out-of-the-door tactics. I would use SN if I had it, but the vomiting could cause it to be so ineffective and leave me in a worse state. It's so f***ed...

What meds are you on? I seriously think anxiety is a factor but no one takes that seriously.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Totally fucking get this. I regurgitate like a Liter and a half a day, no exaggeration. Maybe more... That's with having gallbladder removed. I'm only 33. I've canceled my endoscopy 2x due to my fucked up anxiety bullshit issues, so I have to redo the entire process. Meds are a joke and you can can barely eat anything, but you still don't even lose weight. Ny only vice is diet pop/soda. It's no way to live and they tell you lifestyle. That's ignorance, and hustling-you-out-of-the-door tactics. I would use SN if I had it, but the vomiting could cause it to be ineffective and leave me in a worse state. It's so f***ed...

What meds are you on? I seriously think anxiety is a factor but no one takes that seriously.

I agree, I also think anxiety is a major contributor. I noticed that stressors are a trigger of sorts.

They gave me carafate and pantoprazole. So a PPI before meals, and another med for coating/protecting the damaged stomach lining to hopefully encourage healing and shield it from excessive acid. But the whole process is messed up, like you said. It's just a guessing game as far as how to live your life and there's no real pattern to anything, making it pretty much out of your control.

That reluctance to take SN is also a huge thing for me. I can't even contemplate taking something so gross, knowing full well how it makes you nauseous and very likely to throw up.

Really sorry you're dealing with this stuff too, it's a nightmare.

 

[qw3rty259]

Sounds familiar. You are doing some shit until you get a problem you didn't even know could happen since everyone else doing the same or even worse... And then your mind goes crazy looking for some potential dagers and things that could cause you harm

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I agree, I also think anxiety is a major contributor. I noticed that stressors are a trigger of sorts.

They gave me carafate and pantoprazole. So a PPI before meals, and another med for coating/protecting the damaged stomach lining to hopefully encourage healing and shield it from excessive acid. But the whole process is messed up, like you said. It's just a guessing game as far as how to live your life and there's no real pattern to anything, making it pretty much out of your control.

That reluctance to take SN is also a huge thing for me. I can't even contemplate taking something so gross, knowing full well how it makes you nauseous and very likely to throw up.

Really sorry you're dealing with this stuff too, it's a nightmare.

Never tried carafate. But tums and pepto don't help etc, plus I spit them back up. Tried panto for years. Nothing. Tried omeprazole. Nothing. I imagine the same with you? We need a magnetic sphincter to close off our esophagus to our stomach or our esophagus' opened somehow. My mom told me the dwarf husband on that TLC show (if you're in the US) looked like he had a surgery and had similar symptoms as I did so I need to look that up on youtube. You might too or I'll tag you when I get around to looking it up. Sorry that you deal with it too because no one gets it unless they live it, especially dr's. I mean I know it's minor, but it's one of those things that really inhibits everything you do, and eat; and you can't avoid eating altogether.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Never tried carafate. But tums and pepto don't help etc, plus I spit them back up. Tried panto for years. Nothing. Tried omeprazole. Nothing. I imagine the same with you? We need a magnetic sphincter to close off our esophagus to our stomach or our esophagus' opened somehow. My mom told me the dwarf husband on that TLC show (if you're in the US) looked like he had a surgery and had similar symptoms as I did so I need to look that up on youtube. You might too or I'll tag you when I get around to looking it up. Sorry that you deal with it too because no one gets it unless they live it, especially dr's. I mean I know it's minor, but it's one of those things that really inhibits everything you do, and eat; and you can't avoid eating altogether.

I'm thinking you're referring to Barrett's esophagus or hiatal hernia? In my case they ruled those out, but I heard a Nissen fundoplication is the gold standard for this stuff. I hope something like that is on the table for you.

Taking meds is a fairly new thing for me, I've only been on them since January. But it's not looking promising. I checked the subreddits on some of these health issues and it appears that many people are dealing with it on a chronic/recurring basis, forever on a merry-go-round of meds and trial and error as far as food. It sounds like you've been on that road yourself, and I'm sorry to hear that's the case. It just makes everything in life so much harder.

I'm exhausted. I'm having to sleep more or less upright, like in an armchair position. But I'm not used to it, so I'm not getting all that many hours, and my neck hurts from it. I'm having bad dreams, too. They revolve around being lost or trapped, like being in prison or being stuck in some surreal, otherworldly labyrinth, for example. I'm pretty sure those are metaphors for feeling stuck with my life and body.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I'm thinking you're referring to Barrett's esophagus or hiatal hernia? In my case they ruled those out, but I heard a Nissen fundoplication is the gold standard for this stuff. I hope something like that is on the table for you.

Taking meds is a fairly new thing for me, I've only been on them since January. But it's not looking promising. I checked the subreddits on some of these health issues and it appears that many people are dealing with it on a chronic/recurring basis, forever on a merry-go-round of meds and trial and error as far as food. It sounds like you've been on that road yourself, and I'm sorry to hear that's the case. It just makes everything in life so much harder.

I'm exhausted. I'm having to sleep more or less upright, like in an armchair position. But I'm not used to it, so I'm not getting all that many hours, and my neck hurts from it. I'm having bad dreams, too. They revolve around being lost or trapped, like being in prison or being stuck in some surreal, otherworldly labyrinth, for example. I'm pretty sure those are metaphors for feeling stuck with my life and body.

Yeah those are options, but I didn't follow through with my endo :/ so Idk for sure. Honestly it all just got worse after my cat went missing and I was under extreme stress from that and it's just cycled from there. My mom had a bad ulcer and they put her on omeprazole from there after it was "treated." I don't know maybe you have polyps. You have bp or heart rate issues? There's that vomiting cycling syndrome that's gaining some friction in the medical world when they can't figure things out. I don't have the nausea so much. First thing my GP said is she doesn't mind going the max on the pump inhibitors so you might take more and see if they help, then I'm sure they could up the dose. Ha! I've been a stomach sleeper for 25+yrs and so it's been awful sleeping like a pregnant woman. I have other reasons nonmedical. Don't know why food never occured to me that it could affect my dreams. I have horrible dreams too. Problems, trouble, hiding, being chased, etc. Never occured to me food could be a factor, and I sleep better if I've eaten too :/ We sound like a hot mess. I will say that the worse my life because, the worse my symptoms became, not that they're psychosomatic or anything. Now I know why my mom used to get so frustrated when she would come in with symptoms and they were like, "Stress! Stress! Stress!"