Texting vs phone calls

[Smilla]

Does anyone here have someone (a family member or friend) who "keeps in touch" solely via texts and NEVER picks up the phone?

I'm seriously tired of texts—when I was dating it was a "red flag" if communication was mostly texting and indicative of serious emotional unavailability.

I'd rather hear radio silence than a stupid text...

I should edit to say: I am speaking about IRL relationships, not those that are forged online.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

My sister does this. I don't know what it is with her but she's been insufferable since she turned 40. Everything has to be just-so and she will text me 15 times just to schedule a time where she'll phone me, where everything is just right for her. I'm like "just fucking call me, I have no life, remember?"

I kind of get it because she has a hectic schedule and feels the need to pencil everyone in at a certain time, but I can't keep up with all these texts that just get lost in the ether.

 

[Smilla]

My sister does this. I don't know what it is with her but she's been insufferable since she turned 40. Everything has to be just-so and she will text me 15 times just to schedule a time where she'll phone me, where everything is just right for her. I'm like "just fucking call me, I have no life, remember?"

I kind of get it because she has a hectic schedule and feels the need to pencil everyone in at a certain time, but I can't keep up with all these texts that just get lost in the ether.

At least she calls you. I have one "family member" who only texts, claiming they are too busy to speak on the phone. I haven't spoken to them in over a year but I received an Xmas gift and a merry Xmas text which I ignored.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I don't really hear from anyone apart from my young brother now and again, he calls sometimes and sends the odd message in messenger.
I hate when people don't reply to a text or take overly long in doing so, but it's not very often I send them.
I would rather speak on the phone or have a face to face conversation than stare at a screen.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

At least she calls you. I have one "family member" who only texts, claiming they are too busy to speak on the phone. I haven't spoken to them in over a year but I received an Xmas gift and a merry Xmas text which I ignored.

Do you feel you are being judged/ostracized by this person? That's what it is in my case. My sis is a life coach/counselor so she's kind of like kryptonite to me, and I always feel that she looks down on me. I meant to add that 9 times out of 10, the call never even happens.

 

[Smilla]

Do you feel you are being judged/ostracized by this person? That's what it is in my case. My sis is a life coach/counselor so she's kind of like kryptonite to me, and I always feel that she looks down on me. I meant to add that 9 times out of 10, the call never even happens.

Oh hell yes. Been ostracized for years, in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Funny too how different siblings turn out.

 

[gnrluver0105]

As a person with social anxiety, I prefer text over calls everytime, I know sometimes a call it's quicker, but anyway I prefer text, sometimes it gives me anxiety just having to call to a customer service for any problem...

Maybe that's why I don't have much luck in dating lol

 

[TiredHorse]

As a person with social anxiety, I prefer text over calls everytime

Huh. I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense. I'll try and keep that in mind with a couple friends/family who only text. I suspect one of them has social anxiety, so it would fit.

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

My sister is also a texter.

She just recently comprehended how phenomenally I am depressed and am in danger.

So now, she's decided to check up on me via text every day or so.

I told her this is bullshit, I don't owe her anything and have no intention of responding.

Let me add that she has never been there for me my entire life.

If I feel like ctb, that is none of her f#$@ing business.

 

[Smilla]

Huh. I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense. I'll try and keep that in mind with a couple friends/family who only text. I suspect one of them has social anxiety, so it would fit.

Nah. I'd go with "not interested in talking" before giving these folks the "social anxiety" excuse.

People do have social anxiety for sure but if they can muster up the energy for a text they surely can for a phone call...if they are relatives or so called friends.

As I said the caveat is if you met these people online (different scenario).

 

[NumbItAll]

As a person with social anxiety, I prefer text over calls everytime, I know sometimes a call it's quicker, but anyway I prefer text, sometimes it gives me anxiety just having to call to a customer service for any problem...

Maybe that's why I don't have much luck in dating lol

I communicate much better through text and find phone calls to be very stressful. I once took a Xanax just to make a phone call for something lol. I talk to my family all the time online and in person, so it's not about not wanting to talk! I also like being able to send messages when I specifically have something to say and can think things through, rather than force a constant flow of conversation on the phone. It seems people have some very different preferences on this though lol.

 

[Smilla]

I communicate much better through text and find phone calls to be very stressful. I once took a Xanax just to make a phone call for something lol. I talk to my family all the time online and in person, so it's not about not wanting to talk! I also like being able to send messages when I specifically have something to say and can think things through, rather than force a constant flow of conversation on the phone. It seems people have some very different preferences on this though lol.

I think it's hurtful to only send texts unless of course you do suffer from social anxiety but if you know that someone does not suffer from this as evidenced by their willingness to engage with others then I can only come to the conclusion that they don't want to talk to ME.

 

[existenceissuffering]

I have social anxiety and generally only call family or friends. But I prefer texts.

 

[peachesNpoison]

when I was dating it was a "red flag" if communication was mostly texting and indicative of serious emotional unavailability.

Hmm, maybe this was my problem...

Except I know now that I'm emotionally unavailable so I guess I was being honest

 

[Gray Wounds]

I have social anxiety and generally only call family or friends. But I prefer texts.

Same here. But I stopped preferring communication with anyone who knows me physically. They are too disturbing.

 

[sif]

Please explain to me what is this "IRL relationship" xD

 

[Smilla]

Please explain to me what is this "IRL relationship" xD

In real life

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I would much rather talk on the phone than text for sure. My text-a-holic friends tell me I'm too "old school." Text shows no emotion and lots of times it's taken the wrong way and can start fights and disagreements if someone assumes you meant something one way when you really didn't at all. So yeah...just my opinion...texting is so overrated.

 

[sif]

I would much rather talk on the phone than text for sure. My text-a-holic friends tell me I'm too "old school." Text shows no emotion and lots of times it's taken the wrong way and can start fights and disagreements if someone assumes you meant something one way when you really didn't at all. So yeah...just my opinion...texting is so overrated.

I just hate talking on the phone :( smilies can say everything you need to

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I just hate talking on the phone :( smilies can say everything you need to

I understand and respect your opinion.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I've never thought of myself as having social anxiety, i am mostly fine speaking to someone face to face, but if you ask me to call someone then i have anxiety.
For me it started as a kid, we had some project where we had to leave an answerphone message, i can still remember the feeling of hearing my voice played back, how stupid it sounded, how it didn't sound like i thought i did.
Then we had this Tomorrows world tech programme banging on about the 'future' of video calls - FaceTime is my personal hell lol
So yeah i am that person who will text rather than call, its nothing personal, just my brains ability to process information.