EndofMyRope
Student
- Oct 17, 2018
- 174
Shit is falling apart at my house... My cell phone has been disconnected, my cable/internet/home phone are about to and I'm a month behind on my rent so, my landlord is about to evict me. I don't see any way around this and am just so tired of being alive, in pain, dreaming of not being alive anymore. I've tried to ctb before finding this site via OD--OD'd on paracetomal (upwards of 24,000 mg which I do NOT recommend. I was in excruciating pain for 4-5 days each time and was unable to keep even fluids down) as well as trying to OD on ambien, clonipin, clonidine and Klonipin. Obviously none of these worked but I do have a broken nose from passing out and falling on my face when I tried to OD with clonidine. Literally fell off the when I passed out and fell on my face breaking my nose. Wonderful, right?
Anyhow, shit is coming to a head, so I figured I'd see if my idea for partial suspension would work. I tied one end of a dog leash to the bedroom door handle and looped the other end around my neck and clipped it off. After leaning forward for about 5 seconds, it felt like my head would explode... I'm not sure I can keep that up for long enough to pass out and ultimately ctb. What made it SOOO much worse was that my dog was on the other side of the door crying and whimpering because he wanted to get into the bedroom. Broke my heart. Damnit!!!! What am I going to do now???????
Anyhow, shit is coming to a head, so I figured I'd see if my idea for partial suspension would work. I tied one end of a dog leash to the bedroom door handle and looped the other end around my neck and clipped it off. After leaning forward for about 5 seconds, it felt like my head would explode... I'm not sure I can keep that up for long enough to pass out and ultimately ctb. What made it SOOO much worse was that my dog was on the other side of the door crying and whimpering because he wanted to get into the bedroom. Broke my heart. Damnit!!!! What am I going to do now???????