https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/terminally-ill-woman-revived-after-suicide-attempt.9277/
Before Varian Ayers Knisely decided to end her life, she gave away some of her favorite possessions, made sure her husband, Gary Knisely, could find everything in the kitchen, and pored over photo books with him as they relived their 42 years together traveling the world. t had been a wonderful life, and 68-year-old Varian wanted to end it before a brain tumor completely ravaged her mind. On July 6, she swallowed a large dose of Valium and Dramamine and washed it down with vodka. She would have preferred wine -- her joy -- but she couldn't stand it ever since the Grade 4 glioblastoma multiforme tumor had reared up a year earlier.
Varian, a retired vice president of Sotheby's, had tried surgery, radiation and a year of chemotherapy. But the tumor was advancing and she had less than six months to live. She stopped chemo and said her goodbyes. Varian wanted to die on her own terms: at home and with her mind intact. Varian held Gary's hand and spoke with him until she dozed off in the living room of their hilltop home in Old Chatham that has a 180-degree-view of Columbia County. Her breathing began to slow.
Gary knew Varian wanted to die, but watching it happen was tougher than he expected. The phone rang. Varian's hospice worker was in the area and asked if she could stop by. He knew it wasn't a great idea, but Gary needed someone to talk to. He told the worker what was happening and said she could visit. A moment later, a nurse from The Community Hospice arrived and then a social worker from the agency came. They sat on the porch and talked with Gary. The nurse checked on Varian. Gary said he felt they understood Varian's choice, but were conflicted on how to deal with it. Hospice does not condone or support suicide. Gary said the workers called their supervisor and, after more back and forth, the supervisor called 911.
Gary heard the sirens. Stunned, he thought, "What's happening here?"
Four ambulances and three police cars streamed up their long driveway. Gary held up a copy of Varian's health proxy like a shield. Varian had signed the document describing her end-of-life wishes. But the officers and emergency medical technicians pushed into the room. Gary stood between Varian and an EMT gripping electroshock paddles. Another EMT said, "We're here, and this is what we've got to do." Varian was taken to Columbia Memorial Hospital and revived. When she awoke the next day, she asked Gary, "Did we screw up?"
She probably would have succeeded if the hospice workers hadn't called 911.
The workers had to make the call, said Rob Puglisi, spokesman for The Community Hospice, which employed Knisely's hospice workers. Puglisi said he could not speak directly about the Knisely case because of privacy concerns, but said health care workers "have a professional responsibility and obligation to identify patients who are potential suicide risks and to prevent suicide attempts from being carried out." Even though Varian had signed a "Do Not Resuscitate" order, the law is unsettled about how emergency responders should handle a suicide. The common practice is to revive patients and ask them what they want.
"Hospice does not speed or lengthen death. It's meant to be a natural death," said Kathy McMahan, head of the Hospice and Palliative Care Association of New York State. "I feel very strongly that if people had the pain and symptom management and the psychosocial support that they deserve and is available to them, the issue of suicide would not even come up." - how out of fucking touch are these people. well, if people in hospice did start taking their lives, i guess they can't charge the insurer exorbitant amounts and pay care takes $11.50 an hour. Thinking.jpg
Hospice offers medical care, pain management, symptom relief and emotional support for terminally ill patients. Suicide is a lose-lose situation for hospice, said Bruce White, director of the Alden March Bioethics Institute at Albany Medical College. "They have a reputation they are trying to maintain that they support people in their last days of life," White said. "If patients feel that hospice is killing people off, hastening their death, hospice will never recover from that." - lel
Long before Varian became sick, the Kniselys had decided if they ever became seriously ill, they'd fly to Switzerland, where physician-assisted suicide is legal. The couple, who have no children, pictured themselves having a nice dinner and a glass of wine, and then checking in to Dignitas, a facility that helps people end their lives legally. "We like to think we control our lives, we ought to be able to control death," said Gary, a retired corporate headhunter. "To us, it was much preferable to control our death, to make the choice not to be a burden to the world or to each other -- and, hey, we've had a good life." Varian was a cheerful woman who loved to read, travel and play tennis. As her brain tumor grew, she struggled to walk and lost interest in food, Gary said. She couldn't concentrate enough to read or do crossword puzzles. Gary said she "was in mental anguish" about living a fraction of her old life.
Varian had only been in hospice care for a day when she attempted suicide. - Hospice is that fucking bad guys.
Gary said he had previously told hospice that she might choose that option. - Good Job Gary, you've just invalidated your significant other's DNR, next time keep your mouth shut, you rat.
"What they should have done is said, up front, 'If you ever decide to do it, don't let us know,'" he said. Judith Schwarz of Compassion and Choices, a nonprofit that counsels terminally ill patients on how to speed their death, said hospice should have referred the Kniselys to her group. Schwarz is a nurse and coordinator for its New York chapter.
Any clinician who hears a patient say she wants to die should explore the person's motives, Schwarz said. If pain, fear or depression is driving it, every attempt should be made to resolve it. But if the person still wants to die, she said health care workers should refer them to her group. (Puglisi, of The Community Hospice, confirmed that hospice would not tell patients about Compassion and Choices.) "Suicide is a pejorative word in this country," said. "It implies that you wimped out, that you're a coward, that you've done something that God doesn't approve of."
She said the group supports "aid-in-dying" by allowing terminally ill people to control their own death. "It's a legal and ethical choice that patients should be informed about," she said. People with cancer are 4 percent to 8 percent more likely to commit suicide than the general population, said Dr. William Breitbart, director of psychiatry services at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Breitbart has studied terminally ill patients who want to hasten their death. The psychiatrist doesn't see his role as preventing every suicide, but preventing suicides motivated by pain, depression, delirium or loss of meaning in one's life.
But Breitbart said a small subset of people will, like Varian, still choose suicide. "She ultimately has the responsibility for the life she's created, and an existential right to question whether she wants to keep on living," he said. "Ultimately, I think she has the right to do what she wants to her life in the privacy of her home."Varian spent several days in the hospital, and was finally released after much wrangling among Gary, doctors and lawyers. At home, Varian voluntarily stopped eating and drinking. Gary and private nurses kept vigil and hospice provided comfort care. Varian died on July 19. Recalling her first abortive attempt, Gary said he didn't tell Varian he agreed with her decision to commit suicide until after she had taken the pills.
"You never know how much your opinion influences someone," he said. "I couldn't live with that."
TL;DR
Director of Hospice for the agency that stopped Varian from taking her life stated in the most round about and silver tongued way that he would rather nickel and dime her than allow her to have any sort of control over her life.
