Discussion Tell me what hurts you the most

[Moroze]

I'm all ears :)

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Unfulfilled passions and rejection. Not fulfilling my passions in life because I am unable to be successful, and the rejection I face from others for no reason.

 

[dead dav]

Not being appreciated for all the good and caring things I did just being rejected for the one bad thing i ever did when my mental health was in the trash!

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Never found reciprocal companionship.

 

[wham311]

Pain from my own actions and a life of hell consequently

 

[darksouls]

I'm all ears :)

the ignorance of humanity

 

[livershapedbox]

Having been forced to become an abomination and thus never being able to live a normal life

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence does, I suffer simply from being conscious burdened with this torturous, futile existence and I'll just always find it so painful to exist, it's pain only non-existence can take away for me and bring me peace from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and is just the only relief, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering. I suffer so much from being trapped in this existence I never would had wished for and never would had chosen and I wish I never suffered more than anything, I always find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed causing all this harm and suffering as a result, I find it unbearable how a human can suffer for so long in this futile existence just waiting to not exist anyway just to be tortured in agony from old age with no limit as to how much they can suffer.

 

[M_E_S]

We are brought into this life without any sort of consultation or consent. Often kicking and screaming, which makes one wonder if our infant selves possess some knowledge we lose over time as to the undesirability of entering existence.

We are immediately conditioned into specific patterns of belief and behavior, all designed to lock us in to a herd mentality that affirms us so long as we abide by and fulfill its mandates for a "successful life." We live the better part of our youth completely unaware that we are already slowly killing ourselves, our true selves, to conform to the expectations of a wider society. One only need cite the outright rejection and dismissal of other humans when societal prescriptions for our suffering prove insufficient or we point out the hard realities so many choose to ignore or distract themselves from. I myself have witnessed firsthand the threads of family and friendship slowly unwinding when they can or will no longer understand or stand me or my feelings. Instead, distance and denigration become the norm. They begin to pull away, avoiding me as though I was infected with a contagious pathogen, even when I'm trying to make sense of my pain and suffering.

Perhaps it begins to make sense to them, and they retreat out of fear that they'll "catch" my suffering too. At the same time I notice growing hostility, with implications or suggestions that I'm the way I am merely for attention, or trying to obtain some special privileges or advantages, and that my suffering is not altogether authentic because it exist beneath the physical realm. Friends, family, they've all begun exhibiting these responses beyond a certain point. And as someone who already is highly self-critical, it inevitably cycles back to me thinking I'm always the problem.

Which is where all of this began, with feelings of inadequacy, failure, not living up to my potential. Realizing that no matter what effort I make, it will never be sufficient to live with the bliss and satisfaction so much of society seems to possess in droves driven on by material, romantic, financial, etc. concerns.

 

[quins]

That I'd never experienced a "sexual awakening."