Tell me about your day/vent.

[JustABug]

Hi ! Vent about your day or how things have been, tell me your favourite songs atm or what you've been up too. What shows are you watching? Do you have any upcoming plans? Even cbt talk, anything you want to say go ahead. I would love to read and talk with you lot.

 

[EternalShore]

This week has been horrid for me! >_< But the day has been nice! :) Just talking to people on Twitter and playing Kaeru no Panyo~n! :)

 

[wakwakmordekaiser]

My day has honestly been horrible. I've been doing good so far this year with no depressive thoughts, no thoughts of ctb, etc, but lately it has gotten so much worse. My girlfriend of about a year has been manipulating me, guilt tripping me, and gaslighting me ever since she went off to college. I feel like I can never be upset or even mildly perturbed by anything anymore concerning her or she will lash out at me and be extremely horrible and cruel to me. Today, I was excited because she came back yesterday and we had made plans to hang out. But she couldn't, because apparently her mother missed her. That's something I can understand, but I was still so upset because we went through all this effort to plan, and I tried so hard to get nice and tidy and whatnot for her just for it to not go through. But I didn't blame her. I didn't blame anyone. Yet when I expressed sadness and anger she just screamed at me, yelled at me and said "you're not the only person who misses me" and basically saying that me missing her doesn't matter at all because other people do and pretty much telling me I couldn't be upset about it because her mom has sleep troubles when she's not there. It hurt so much but I knew if I argued she'd just threaten to break up with me or something or get even more upset. Every sensible person would leave, but I am not sensible. She's the only person in my life who's even given me an ounce of affection and our good conversations still turn out okay. If she leaves me I'll truly be alone and I'm scared. But she keeps making me feel this way and I don't know what to do. I don't know. I feel so stuck.

 

[freedompass]

I've been depressed for 2-3 months following a bipolar manic episode. Life feels very empty and boring every day. Today was just another one.

 

[L0nely]

My days recently been bit blurry. My life isn't very exiciting to start with. I'm a student but my classes are mainly online so I don't really leave my house/room often. I don't really have hobbies so mostly I just sit and watch YT all day. I wanted to go see my friend today, haven't seen her in a while, unfortunately she already had plans and probably won't have time for next week and since she is the only friend I have irl I didn't bother to plan anything else. I have some online friends but since I've been feeling low and didn't bother to text them first they simply haven't spoke to me in few days. As for music - I've been kinda obsessed with Strangers by Kenya Grace, might have heard it in YT shorts or TikTok. And as for shows or movies- I haven't been in a mood to watch anything recently, tho wanted to re-watch some series (death note, vikings). "Suicide room" both 1st and 2nd part are also very good movies which I haven't seen in a while. Would recommend them, they are in polish though, would have to watch with subtitles.

 

[broth0100]

feels like a drag. nothing much to do today, my luck hasnt been so good lately and im unemployed now. idk the weather is nice where i am. went to see a movie with a friend yesterday night, it was nice. i just dont feel well.

 

[prettynoose]

Hi ! Vent about your day or how things have been, tell me your favourite songs atm or what you've been up too. What shows are you watching? Do you have any upcoming plans? Even cbt talk, anything you want to say go ahead. I would love to read and talk with you lot.

my day has been eh. i've been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and having the motivation to exercise is below zero. i'm going to blizzcon soon to see OWWC. one good thing is today ill start to make some bracelets to trade. hopefully to see my super on stage :) ty for asking, i hope your day is going well

 

[Lullaby]

Kind of rough, on the emotional side really. Feeling super sad and part of me wants to go back to sleep, but I'm trying my best.

Lots of usual disappointments from people in my life, which isn't surprising but it still really hurts. I feel like I'm always there for everyone when they need it; friends, family, etc. Then when I'm not useful anymore, I get tossed.

Totally failed in other avenues this week too. Still getting rejected for jobs, and I just got taken off of the roster for my driving lessons…I missed a few weeks because I was really struggling. I always tried to call beforehand to cancel or reschedule, but they just got tired I guess…I have to call on Monday and speak to the manager, and I feel like I'm going to crumble.

For this weekend, really hoping to forget. Just playing video games; Alan Wake 2. I love horror but I'm so scared of horror games, so I'm trying to push through. It's a nice distraction from everything else.

Hope your day has been manageable.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sadly for me there's no plans to leave this existence in the near future, it truly is so dreadful to be trapped in this existence with no straightforward way to just peacefully cease existing. It fills me with so much dread the thought of being stuck here for much longer, it's terrifying how existence could potentially continue for decades.

It's just so cruel how we cannot easily die in peace despite the fact that we were so harmfully forced here in the first place, only permanently not existing is ideal for me, all that I see as desirable is a dreamless, eternal sleep.

 

[Wormfood]

Hello friend, today feels like a nightmare. Looking at the news I see us deteriorating into a dystopian society quite slowly. I'm usually optimistic but nowadays it doesn't seem realistic. It seems I've overdosed on romantic comedies and expect reality to be like one. In the coming years I imagine there will be more death and suffering. I'm hanging on by treads. My will to live is as weak as a rat. My thoughts tell me that I'm worthless and my future will be miserable. Today I realized that someone stoned a sleeping homeless person. I felt bad. If I was in his position I would ctb already. When I look at a lot of people I dread getting old. I dread bringing kids into this world. I imagine them ending up on a site like this. I'd also be obligated to live. I'd also give them my bad genes. I've reached a point where... Alas! what does this change? I really could use a hug. Maybe some kind words. If society collapse I believe I'll be one of the first ones to die or perhaps adapt to the times to be a ruthless, vicious person. I would rather die. Times are good right now and I'm barely surviving. What about when all hell breaks lose? Some songs I'm listening to are everyday is exactly the same by NIN and Lonely day by System of Down. I'm rewatching House MD for the fourth time

 

[borderlinee]

I've been very disconnected from everything, I'm starting to feel completely numb, I hate each second of my existence, but numbness is the nicest feeling I've had for the past months. I'm very bored and exhausted, I don't understand how people do this everyday so normally? I desperately want to ctb, but planning just takes so much energy from me, I feel completely stuck.

 

[JustABug]

This week has been horrid for me! >_< But the day has been nice! :) Just talking to people on Twitter and playing Kaeru no Panyo~n! :)

What's Kaeru No Panyo~n about? I'm glad today has been good for you !

My day has honestly been horrible. I've been doing good so far this year with no depressive thoughts, no thoughts of ctb, etc, but lately it has gotten so much worse. My girlfriend of about a year has been manipulating me, guilt tripping me, and gaslighting me ever since she went off to college. I feel like I can never be upset or even mildly perturbed by anything anymore concerning her or she will lash out at me and be extremely horrible and cruel to me. Today, I was excited because she came back yesterday and we had made plans to hang out. But she couldn't, because apparently her mother missed her. That's something I can understand, but I was still so upset because we went through all this effort to plan, and I tried so hard to get nice and tidy and whatnot for her just for it to not go through. But I didn't blame her. I didn't blame anyone. Yet when I expressed sadness and anger she just screamed at me, yelled at me and said "you're not the only person who misses me" and basically saying that me missing her doesn't matter at all because other people do and pretty much telling me I couldn't be upset about it because her mom has sleep troubles when she's not there. It hurt so much but I knew if I argued she'd just threaten to break up with me or something or get even more upset. Every sensible person would leave, but I am not sensible. She's the only person in my life who's even given me an ounce of affection and our good conversations still turn out okay. If she leaves me I'll truly be alone and I'm scared. But she keeps making me feel this way and I don't know what to do. I don't know.

My day has honestly been horrible. I've been doing good so far this year with no depressive thoughts, no thoughts of ctb, etc, but lately it has gotten so much worse. My girlfriend of about a year has been manipulating me, guilt tripping me, and gaslighting me ever since she went off to college. I feel like I can never be upset or even mildly perturbed by anything anymore concerning her or she will lash out at me and be extremely horrible and cruel to me. Today, I was excited because she came back yesterday and we had made plans to hang out. But she couldn't, because apparently her mother missed her. That's something I can understand, but I was still so upset because we went through all this effort to plan, and I tried so hard to get nice and tidy and whatnot for her just for it to not go through. But I didn't blame her. I didn't blame anyone. Yet when I expressed sadness and anger she just screamed at me, yelled at me and said "you're not the only person who misses me" and basically saying that me missing her doesn't matter at all because other people do and pretty much telling me I couldn't be upset about it because her mom has sleep troubles when she's not there. It hurt so much but I knew if I argued she'd just threaten to break up with me or something or get even more upset. Every sensible person would leave, but I am not sensible. She's the only person in my life who's even given me an ounce of affection and our good conversations still turn out okay. If she leaves me I'll truly be alone and I'm scared. But she keeps making me feel this way and I don't know what to do. I don't know. I feel so stuck.

You might feel alone but you also might feel less degraded if you do leave!

I've been depressed for 2-3 months following a bipolar manic episode. Life feels very empty and boring every day. Today was just another one.

Love u

My days recently been bit blurry. My life isn't very exiciting to start with. I'm a student but my classes are mainly online so I don't really leave my house/room often. I don't really have hobbies so mostly I just sit and watch YT all day. I wanted to go see my friend today, haven't seen her in a while, unfortunately she already had plans and probably won't have time for next week and since she is the only friend I have irl I didn't bother to plan anything else. I have some online friends but since I've been feeling low and didn't bother to text them first they simply haven't spoke to me in few days. As for music - I've been kinda obsessed with Strangers by Kenya Grace, might have heard it in YT shorts or TikTok. And as for shows or movies- I haven't been in a mood to watch anything recently, tho wanted to re-watch some series (death note, vikings). "Suicide room" both 1st and 2nd part are also very good movies which I haven't seen in a while. Would recommend them, they are in polish though, would have to watch with subtitles.

I'll definitely give them a watch thank u sm !

feels like a drag. nothing much to do today, my luck hasnt been so good lately and im unemployed now. idk the weather is nice where i am. went to see a movie with a friend yesterday night, it was nice. i just dont feel well.

What movie did you see? What's your favourite weather?

my day has been eh. i've been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and having the motivation to exercise is below zero. i'm going to blizzcon soon to see OWWC. one good thing is today ill start to make some bracelets to trade. hopefully to see my super on stage :) ty for asking, i hope your day is going well

I hope you'll find some motivation ! Trading bracelets sounds fun

Kind of rough, on the emotional side really. Feeling super sad and part of me wants to go back to sleep, but I'm trying my best.

Lots of usual disappointments from people in my life, which isn't surprising but it still really hurts. I feel like I'm always there for everyone when they need it; friends, family, etc. Then when I'm not useful anymore, I get tossed.

Totally failed in other avenues this week too. Still getting rejected for jobs, and I just got taken off of the roster for my driving lessons…I missed a few weeks because I was really struggling. I always tried to call beforehand to cancel or reschedule, but they just got tired I guess…I have to call on Monday and speak to the manager, and I feel like I'm going to crumble.

For this weekend, really hoping to forget. Just playing video games; Alan Wake 2. I love horror but I'm so scared of horror games, so I'm trying to push through. It's a nice distraction from everything else.

Hope your day has been manageable.

The fatal frame horror games are pretty good !! People have put together some pretty cool movie styled videos on youtube!

Hello friend, today feels like a nightmare. Looking at the news I see us deteriorating into a dystopian society quite slowly. I'm usually optimistic but nowadays it doesn't seem realistic. It seems I've overdosed on romantic comedies and expect reality to be like one. In the coming years I imagine there will be more death and suffering. I'm hanging on by treads. My will to live is as weak as a rat. My thoughts tell me that I'm worthless and my future will be miserable. Today I realized that someone stoned a sleeping homeless person. I felt bad. If I was in his position I would ctb already. When I look at a lot of people I dread getting old. I dread bringing kids into this world. I imagine them ending up on a site like this. I'd also be obligated to live. I'd also give them my bad genes. I've reached a point where... Alas! what does this change? I really could use a hug. Maybe some kind words. If society collapse I believe I'll be one of the first ones to die or perhaps adapt to the times to be a ruthless, vicious person. I would rather die. Times are good right now and I'm barely surviving. What about when all hell breaks lose? Some songs I'm listening to are everyday is exactly the same by NIN and Lonely day by System of Down. I'm rewatching House MD for the fourth time

I love SOD and House MD !! Favourite show to watch for background noise. And honestly we'll never know when all hell breaks lose. It could be in a few hours, days or decades. Whatever happens and however you turn out from it, whether you could turn into a cruel person, would be okay.

I've been very disconnected from everything, I'm starting to feel completely numb, I hate each second of my existence, but numbness is the nicest feeling I've had for the past months. I'm very bored and exhausted, I don't understand how people do this everyday so normally? I desperately want to ctb, but planning just takes so much energy from me, I feel completely stuck.

I feel the exact same way. Just idly waiting for an opportunity but hopelessly needing to cbt.

 

[Unhumanly.]

Heavy with responsibility consuming myself up

 

[EternalShore]

What's Kaeru No Panyo~n about? I'm glad today has been good for you !

Thank you! ^_^ Basically, the king asked you to find a treasure, but you got lost and have to find your way back home! :) How has yours been? :) I didn't see you respond much about you to anyone else! xD

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I got 7 hours and 30 minutes of sleep. I woke up at 7am. When I woke up it felt like I had gotten no sleep at all. My eyes were in pain - probably like a 6/10. The pain is always there but it fluctuates between a 3/10 - 8/10 depending on the day. I put my glasses on but everything still looks blurry. Nothing about this has really changed in the past 10 years. I remember vaguely when I was very young what it felt like to see normally and not be in constant pain or discomfort, but the memory is fading.

Just like 10 years ago I stumble out of bed and do homework. I have multiple reading based assignments that I've put off and that are now late. Reading is physically painful so I try to avoid it. I go to a club meeting. I have acquaintances but can't make any friends like I used to. An acquaintance talks about his girlfriend. I try to laugh along but I know that I will never know what that is like. I've been told I look incredibly ugly. I've tried to find someone, but I wouldn't want to be with a cynical bastard myself either lol.

I return from the club at 3 still needing to get more work done, but I feel exhausted and try to sleep. I'm not tired enough to really sleep though - it's just that I *feel* tired because my eyes are in pain. I wake up 30 minutes later feeling worse. It is still blurry and I need to stay awake to be able to sleep later, so I play a video game. I don't even like video games, in fact I hate them, but it lets me pass the time. I've done terribly academically, and soon I'll be booted out of my parents home to work at a fast food restaurant. My old friends from highschool are getting ready to begin their dream jobs after college or have been doing things they love since they graduated highschool and are contributing to society in some meaningful way. I think about how much I've already failed as I play my video game and drink some beer.

Tomorrow the cycle will continue yet again, and I will be one day closer to the day when I will finally fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[achb]

I just tried passing out again via hyperventilating. It's always a weird experience. I feel so tingly and weird after, and my memory of the act goes whoosh. But I don't pass out.

I'm getting high with my friends tomorrow night. I still find it funny that my friends feel the need to schedule out when and what we will be doing when we hang out, even if that "what" is getting high off our asses.

I feel very passive about CTB recently. I'd like to be gone, but I lack drive any more to actually try.

I have more things I want to do now. Get a massage, a tattoo, a girlfriend, get black out drunk, etc.
Many of my friends are in good mental places now, and I don't want to break that. I also work with children (one of which refers to me as her adopted older bro) who would be affected.
I don't get torn apart when thinking about affects of my death (I won't be there to experience it) but it does hurt a bit to imagine.

But I'm still so lonely. I have friends, I have family, I have people. But I'm still lonely. I can't stand to be on my own for a second, even though I get so exhausted around people. As soon as I'm not with my people, nothing seems worth doing and life ceases to be worth living. I wish I could change that.

 

[deadtomorrow]

Every day is the same
I'm rotting like a corpse inside my room
Sometimes, to spice it up i'll go out into nature to forget about everything, rarely do i ever go out into society, but when i do, i always get looks of disgust and people seem to interact in a very fake way to me, and treat me like a child. Sometimes i catch people talking about how ugly or short i am.

 

[cheese.out]

I was corona positive the whole week so I didnt have to go to work. Pretty chill but I felt even more alone after a couple of days.

a lot of ctb thoughts and self hate but today I took a small dose of tramadol and played some games with a friend so it has been bearable - felt like all the pain and grief was gone for a few hours

 

[Dontknowhowtolive]

Spent a day trying to come up with a ctb plan. There's nobody in this world who cares about or loves me. I've managed to either piss off or otherwise repel everyone I've come into contact with. I deal with trauma, which makes me unpalatable, but I swear all I want to be is loved and accepted.

 

[Dead_Mouse]

My day has honestly been horrible. I've been doing good so far this year with no depressive thoughts, no thoughts of ctb, etc, but lately it has gotten so much worse. My girlfriend of about a year has been manipulating me, guilt tripping me, and gaslighting me ever since she went off to college. I feel like I can never be upset or even mildly perturbed by anything anymore concerning her or she will lash out at me and be extremely horrible and cruel to me. Today, I was excited because she came back yesterday and we had made plans to hang out. But she couldn't, because apparently her mother missed her. That's something I can understand, but I was still so upset because we went through all this effort to plan, and I tried so hard to get nice and tidy and whatnot for her just for it to not go through. But I didn't blame her. I didn't blame anyone. Yet when I expressed sadness and anger she just screamed at me, yelled at me and said "you're not the only person who misses me" and basically saying that me missing her doesn't matter at all because other people do and pretty much telling me I couldn't be upset about it because her mom has sleep troubles when she's not there. It hurt so much but I knew if I argued she'd just threaten to break up with me or something or get even more upset. Every sensible person would leave, but I am not sensible. She's the only person in my life who's even given me an ounce of affection and our good conversations still turn out okay. If she leaves me I'll truly be alone and I'm scared. But she keeps making me feel this way and I don't know what to do. I don't know. I feel so stuck.

This could be a bad idea... you said she's the only person who's given you any affection. You could try meeting new people and find another person who'll give you affection! It doesn't have to be cheating on her (I feel like that would be impossible for me if I were in your situation), but try joining a club, or making some new friends.

I've had an abusive friend before, and the only reason I stayed was because my other friends weren't that good. Knowing people who are better could be the path to leaving the relationship.

 

[Arcitect]

I went to the firearms store today to pick up a shotgun I ordered for CTBing. The clerk gave me a panic attack when she said "Unfortunately". Turns out I forgot to write down the second half of my middle name (b/c I never use it) but she let me fix it. She told me the government put me on hold for the background check for at least a week since I'm 18. I guess they withhold your long guns for a while if you're under 21. She told me they'll likely put another delay on there so I'll have to wait 1+ weeks before I can get my hands on the 12 gauge shotgun I ordered :/.

 

[DyingToDie123]

Today has been horrible.

First my mom got mad at me this morning because she thinks I'm mad at her. (I kind of am but am also just mad at the world right now.) She criticized me for not taking my dog out right away, accused me of not taking my meds, and threatened to make me go back to my hometown because I was crying about all of the above.

I went on a day trip with her to try to appease her. We brought my dog because he can't be left alone but he was so anxious the whole time, my mom thinks it's cute but I think it's basically abuse and it hurts me so much to see him like that.

Then I was gonna jump today while I was "at a party" but stupid me didn't realize how busy Halloween weekend gets and I needed time to figure out how to scale the barrier (it's not a high one but I'm clumsy) without getting caught.

I really want to tell somebody about the last part but all of my former friends I either can't talk to legally because of the restraining order from my last suicide note or I no longer consider them friends because of how they helped with said restraining order. And that part breaks me. I'm sobbing in my apartment complex parking lot because I can't let my mom see me like this. I hate this life so much.

 

[Dead_Mouse]

I've been very disconnected from everything, I'm starting to feel completely numb, I hate each second of my existence, but numbness is the nicest feeling I've had for the past months. I'm very bored and exhausted, I don't understand how people do this everyday so normally? I desperately want to ctb, but planning just takes so much energy from me, I feel completely stuck.

For me, when it comes to planning, I already have "Get in the bathtub and start hyperventilating". I feel like even if I was as suicidal as I was last semester, back when I didn't know about this site and didn't know this method, I still wouldn't be able to pick a date. It feels like I have the strongest SI in the world. Maybe it's for the best because I've been doing better than I was last semester, but still, sometimes I wish I had CTB'd back in highschool.

Is the method or the date the hardest part for you?

 

[Arcitect]

Today has been horrible.

First my mom got mad at me this morning because she thinks I'm mad at her. (I kind of am but am also just mad at the world right now.) She criticized me for not taking my dog out right away, accused me of not taking my meds, and threatened to make me go back to my hometown because I was crying about all of the above.

I went on a day trip with her to try to appease her. We brought my dog because he can't be left alone but he was so anxious the whole time, my mom thinks it's cute but I think it's basically abuse and it hurts me so much to see him like that.

Then I was gonna jump today while I was "at a party" but stupid me didn't realize how busy Halloween weekend gets and I needed time to figure out how to scale the barrier (it's not a high one but I'm clumsy) without getting caught.

I really want to tell somebody about the last part but all of my former friends I either can't talk to legally because of the restraining order from my last suicide note or I no longer consider them friends because of how they helped with said restraining order. And that part breaks me. I'm sobbing in my apartment complex parking lot because I can't let my mom see me like this. I hate this life so much.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I started losing a lot of friends recently too. There are a lot of people who hate me. I know, it sucks. But you can always talk to us :). Or you can DM me if you ever need someone to talk to ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

 

[Dead_Mouse]

I went to the firearms store today to pick up a shotgun I ordered for CTBing. The clerk gave me a panic attack when she said "Unfortunately". Turns out I forgot to write down the second half of my middle name (b/c I never use it) but she let me fix it. She told me the government put me on hold for the background check for at least a week since I'm 18. I guess they withhold your long guns for a while if you're under 21. She told me they'll likely put another delay on there so I'll have to wait 1+ weeks before I can get my hands on the 12 gauge shotgun I ordered :/.

That actually makes me happy to see. I'm always worried that bad people will get guns and take the lives of people who want to keep living. That thought is a bit scary, so I'm glad to see they do extensive background checks. Sorry if it's prolonging your suffering though

 

[Arcitect]

That actually makes me happy to see. I'm always worried that bad people will get guns and take the lives of people who want to keep living. That thought is a bit scary, so I'm glad to see they do extensive background checks. Sorry if it's prolonging your suffering though

Thanks. I got to look at some goofy ass fucking AK's sitting in a display box and the store had a Beret 50 cal sitting on the counter. I saw some nice looking 1911's and I saw some realllllly nice ear defenders. They had built in microphones so you can still kinda hear when you put them on.

I just hope I don't fail the background check on the grounds of mental health. I called 988 for about 1 second just to get them on my call log to please my ex. But I recently saw a post stating that 988 actually adds you to a database when you call them. I also wouldn't be surprised if I'm on a watchlist or two. I don't have bad intentions, don't get me wrong. I just like doing crazy science experiments and blowing stuff up because its fun as hell. Honestly, I'm a greater threat to myself than society. Not that people would believe me though.

 

[Dead_Mouse]

Thanks. I got to look at some goofy ass fucking AK's sitting in a display box and the store had a Beret 50 cal sitting on the counter. I saw some nice looking 1911's and I saw some realllllly nice ear defenders. They had built in microphones so you can still kinda hear when you put them on.

I just hope I don't fail the background check on the grounds of mental health. I called 988 for about 1 second just to get them on my call log to please my ex. But I recently saw a post stating that 988 actually adds you to a database when you call them. I also wouldn't be surprised if I'm on a watchlist or two. I don't have bad intentions, don't get me wrong. I just like doing crazy science experiments and blowing stuff up because its fun as hell. Honestly, I'm a greater threat to myself than society. Not that people would believe me though.

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that messes you up! I hope you can get it - I trust that you won't misuse it (by hurting others). I don't understand half the words in your first paragraph XD. You should use all that gun knowledge to build a believable story. For example, buying those crazy headphones would lead people to believe that you'll be keeping the gun for a lot longer instead of keeping it till you ctb. Also, I don't know if a shotgun was the right call. I feel like most gun enthusiasts use guns with single bullets so they can practice accuracy, and I feel like single-bullet guns would work just as well. Maybe you can just say that you're going to go hunting. I think they use shotguns to hunt ducks, right?

 

[Arcitect]

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that messes you up! I hope you can get it - I trust that you won't misuse it (by hurting others). I don't understand half the words in your first paragraph XD. You should use all that gun knowledge to build a believable story. For example, buying those crazy headphones would lead people to believe that you'll be keeping the gun for a lot longer instead of keeping it till you ctb. Also, I don't know if a shotgun was the right call. I feel like most gun enthusiasts use guns with single bullets so they can practice accuracy, and I feel like single-bullet guns would work just as well. Maybe you can just say that you're going to go hunting. I think they use shotguns to hunt ducks, right?

Yeah, you can hunt birds and deer with shotguns. They make different types of ammunition, theres BIRDshot (made for birds, consists of a bunch of small balls), theres BUCKshot (made for deer, consists of several larger balls), theres slugs (not sure if those are used for hunting), and other types. And to top it all off they have different sizes balls, like 00 buckshot or #4 buckshot. But I heard this funny quote somewhere on this forum the other day, it went something like this:

"A pistol will put a hole in someone, a rifle will put a hole through someone, a shotgun will take a chunk of your target and throw that shit on the floor"

Also, I'll have to do more research but I'm pretty sure you want to target the brainstem (controls heart beat, breathing when you're not actively thinking about it). I myself do not have faith in my aiming skills. But I also am not old enough to legally purchase a handgun in my state sooo :/.

 

[Dead_Mouse]

Yeah, you can hunt birds and deer with shotguns. They make different types of ammunition, theres BIRDshot (made for birds, consists of a bunch of small balls), theres BUCKshot (made for deer, consists of several larger balls), theres slugs (not sure if those are used for hunting), and other types. And to top it all off they have different sizes balls, like 00 buckshot or #4 buckshot. But I heard this funny quote somewhere on this forum the other day, it went something like this:

"A pistol will put a hole in someone, a rifle will put a hole through someone, a shotgun will take a chunk of your target and throw that shit on the floor"

Also, I'll have to do more research but I'm pretty sure you want to target the brainstem (controls heart beat, breathing when you're not actively thinking about it). I myself do not have faith in my aiming skills. But I also am not old enough to legally purchase a handgun in my state sooo :/.

Wow, you would think they would make shotguns illegal before making pistols illegal. I had heard of buckshot, but I never knew anyone ever hunted deer with shotguns! I would worry that it wouldn't kill them, and then the deer would stumble away wounded which is inhumane and makes the meat taste worse.

Anyways, At first I though maybe you should aim for the neck to sever your spinal chord, but maybe putting it in your mouth and pointing up would be more reliable? You certainly wouldn't want to survive - idk what living with a shotgun wound would be like.

 

[Arcitect]

Wow, you would think they would make shotguns illegal before making pistols illegal. I had heard of buckshot, but I never knew anyone ever hunted deer with shotguns! I would worry that it wouldn't kill them, and then the deer would stumble away wounded which is inhumane and makes the meat taste worse.

Anyways, At first I though maybe you should aim for the neck to sever your spinal chord, but maybe putting it in your mouth and pointing up would be more reliable? You certainly wouldn't want to survive - idk what living with a shotgun wound would be like.

Yeah, I was thinking of an upwards angle through the mouth to make a mush out of anything up there. I just hope I don't survive. If I do I hope that an artery up there somewhere got severed and I bleed out. I also heard that the *vibrations*? (maybe I'm wrong on that) from the impact can traumatize and damage nearby tissue even if no projectiles touch that tissue. I know it'll be messy and SI will kick in, but I hope I can do it.