Anyone available to talk me down? I dont want to go out impulsively. But after todays shit show. The job not going the way i needed too(too mant triggers) and coming home to a house of people who seem to nothing but hate me has lead me tk believe that I need to what needs to be done. I have the method lined up, its been tested, and it seems like it might be that sweeet sweet release im looking for.
-
Hey Guest,
If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
DD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
paroxyical
you dont have to understand to accept.
- Feb 15, 2020
- 149
The fact that you have come here and asked for help being talked down, and have acknowledged that you are acting on impulse, show to me that it is probably not your time yet.
It is your choice and I would not want to encourage nor deny you to CTB however, you seem to want to not do it enough that you've posted this - or at least want to make sure this isn't impulsive.
That's what I'd suggest you do. You can sleep now and reassess in the morning. If you're still unsure you can do tomorrow, sleep, and see how you feel the day after that. CTB is always an escape option for you there. If you hang on and see if it is your time, you always have the option, but you're more likely to prevent regret or mess things up by acting impulsively.
It is your choice and I would not want to encourage nor deny you to CTB however, you seem to want to not do it enough that you've posted this - or at least want to make sure this isn't impulsive.
That's what I'd suggest you do. You can sleep now and reassess in the morning. If you're still unsure you can do tomorrow, sleep, and see how you feel the day after that. CTB is always an escape option for you there. If you hang on and see if it is your time, you always have the option, but you're more likely to prevent regret or mess things up by acting impulsively.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,728
So you have the method, it's been tested. Are there things you need to get in order or any arrangements that need to be made before you ctb? You can focus on those things, that will occupy you and give you a sense of control that impulse doesn't.
That's one suggestion.
That's one suggestion.
Its always a constant thought for me. Daily. Actually all the time regardless of the activity. I just feel like when I am drunk more often than not, i feel the confidence to do it.
So maybe try thinking of the things that need to be done, to prepare, to curve me feeling impulsive?
Nowilltolive90
Member
- Feb 17, 2020
- 29
I 100% agree with this, you're telling yourself that this isn't your time. Also being intoxicated and continuing to drink will only increase your chances of failure and causing you and the people around you who you care about more pain and suffering. Alcohol will cloud your judgement no matter how much you believe it won't. Make an informed sober decision not like this
Its just a feeling that, when I am drunk, that its impulsive. Ive thought about it. Built my method, three different ones somehow, im just trying to talk myself out of feeling impulsive. The last thing i want is some bullshit impulsive degrading uilogy or some shit.
paroxyical
you dont have to understand to accept.
- Feb 15, 2020
- 149
Alcohol is a b*stard. I live with my parents still and they are strict and only let me drink a cider occasionally (I'm 18), so I don't often get the chance to drink alcohol. As soon as I do, I try to seriously harm myself. I also hallucinate more than usual and it worsens my psychotic symptoms. It's a b**ch. I'm kind of glad that I can't get hold of it most of the time. So is my psychologist lol.
Nowilltolive90
Member
- Feb 17, 2020
- 29
If you only feel this way when you're drunk then alcohol might be the problem, however if you're saying you only have the courage when you're drunk then that's a different matter. I'm not here to tell you what to do but regardless of how intoxicated you are please make sure you are making the right choice
Alcohol is my go too sadly, i would say im a functioning alcoholic. But whenever i have a day in mind to CTB, the process of drinking alcohol alone makes me feel impulsive in that i need alcohol to go through with it.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,728
Yes.
Letters? Will? Location? Timing? How you will perform the method calmly and methodically to reduce errors? Make lists?
Try doing something that makes you feel good. Listen to music you like, eat a yummy snack, or even just a nice hot shower. I'm here if you need a friend to talk to.
Letters done, location my favorite tree in my childhood spot, ill work on those last two
paroxyical
you dont have to understand to accept.
- Feb 15, 2020
- 149
needed this, although when i ctb im not doing letters. well maybe only to my partner. id have to leave it for him to find in hindsight because he'd desperately try to stop me if he knew i was about to ctb. my family can go f--k themselves. im not leaving anything for them. might text a friend a nice message idk.
but the rest is very helpful to think about if i feel impulsive so ty
PoisonedJuliet
You saucy boy!
- Feb 12, 2020
- 1,191
MachinaArcana
Member
- Jan 18, 2020
- 61
I believe that when/if you ctb, you owe it to *yourself* - and noone else - to try and do so at a time when you are fully at peace with the decision, in as far possible of course, and not acting on impulse - no matter how saddened, angry of frustrated you feel at that point. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your reasons or feelings are "not valid", but when you ask others to talk you down, this clearly means that *now* is not the right time for you to make that final decision.
I'm sorry you're hurting so much. But you reached out to others, and that took a lot of courage on your part.
Sending love and a big hug your way.
I'm sorry you're hurting so much. But you reached out to others, and that took a lot of courage on your part.
Sending love and a big hug your way.
Sometimes I think is not that bad to be impulsive, something to trigger, otherwise you could never try even.
Sorry, but I would never let you do that, but I'm no one to tell you what to do, just a naive person that want you to be happy.
Lostandfound7
Just waiting....
- Jan 21, 2020
- 996
PoisonedJuliet
You saucy boy!
- Feb 12, 2020
- 1,191
I'm not telling you what to do just asking you to please not make a fully impulsive decision. We're here if you need to talk
