![Sulyya](/data/avatars/l/55/55137.jpg?1678131393)
Sulyya
Synergist
- Mar 6, 2023
- 527
Which have you used, what have your experiences been like? Any weird stories?
Curious to hear about it from guys, women and anyone else.
Curious to hear about it from guys, women and anyone else.
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Exactly what I was talking about in my too-long reply above.I'm a guy and my experience has been basically the same as others here. I miraculously had a successful match in 2019 but that was a fluke and it's been downhill since then. It's been years since I met anyone new. I put tons of effort into my pictures, bio, and messages, but it doesn't really matter. On the rare occasion I get a match, the other person is usually cold, sterile, and disinterested. Not like there's any other way to meet people though. Overall it has made me realize how completely worthless and unwanted I am.
There really aren't any options for me to meet people irl though. I'm a shy introvert and a bar/club is like a nightmare scenario for me. My hobbies are things that girls typically aren't interested in. I'm already fit too and put substantial effort into my appearance. Conclusion: I'm worthlessExactly what I was talking about in my too-long reply above.
I see so many guys like you putting so much effort. Asking for advice on Reddit. Swiping every day for years. Spending years, reading guides, looking at coaching videos, and then you reminisce about that one girl ten years ago who kinda replied.
Tinder will suck what little life you have left in you, out of you. It will make you feel worthless even if you aren't. Delete it now guys. Go to the gym, slim down if you think you need it, find a hobby. (I say this while lying on the sofa after struggling to put pants on today.)
It's so different both in this time period and at our age. The funny thing is I was in this long distance relationship throughout law school but girls actually hit on ME at bars. I swear part of it was that they didn't smell the stink of a desperate single person. But there's also something when you're in those early 20s and you know most people around you are in a similar situation that makes it more comfortable. I know I could've picked up plenty of women then. Hell I'd dance, drink, and play games with women then who I could tell were interested but I'd be sure to mention I had a girlfriend. God, I we should've broken up way earlier. Although, yeah, I'm happy with how things worked out for me but still, wasted years.It's always "just meet girls in bars and cafes" until one actually tries and they're either with a big group of friends that shows they're not interested or even if they're alone they still don't actually want to be approached anyway which they have every right not to be.
I haven't actually tried but I don't intend on going to jail or getting my life ruined by this.
Exactly, there's no way to win other than to get extremely lucky. It shouldn't be such a monumental task just to spark a connection with someone.It's always "just meet girls in bars and cafes" until one actually tries and they're either with a big group of friends that shows they're not interested or even if they're alone they still don't actually want to be approached anyway which they have every right not to be.
I haven't actually tried but I don't intend on going to jail or getting my life ruined by this.
And then that's when people go "So? Just keep trying then." But then I'd just be that guy who hangs out at bars and other social places waiting solely to pick up women like some kind of creep.
The best comment. Please, listen them.I see so many guys like you putting so much effort. Asking for advice on Reddit. Swiping every day for years. Spending years, reading guides, looking at coaching videos, and then you reminisce about that one girl ten years ago who kinda replied.
Tinder will suck what little life you have left in you, out of you. It will make you feel worthless even if you aren't. Delete it now guys. Go to the gym, slim down if you think you need it, find a hobby. (I say this while lying on the sofa after struggling to put pants on today.)
This would be valid if dating apps were a solution to anything. They're not. At best, you will have the exact same problem.It's always "just meet girls in bars and cafes" until one actually tries and they're either with a big group of friends that shows they're not interested or even if they're alone they still don't actually want to be approached anyway which they have every right not to be.
I'm not crazy about the apps either, in fact my experience that I posted earlier indicates exactly how much of a failure they are.This would be valid if dating apps were a solution to anything. They're not. At best, you will have the exact same problem.
so then why keep playing the lottery? why not get a stable job where money happens to appear regularly? (get a hobby or join a club)I'm not crazy about the apps either, in fact my experience that I posted earlier indicates exactly how much of a failure they are.
I just think the notion that the alternative is so much easier just isn't true, least not these days. Literally the only solution seems to be to just be extraordinarily lucky. Might as well ask someone who's homeless to just keep playing the lottery.
I have a job, thanks. No hobby or club that I'm interested ever seems to have interested girls in them and getting into a hobby just for them seems just as creepy as hanging out at the bar.so then why keep playing the lottery? why not get a stable job where money happens to appear regularly? (get a hobby or join a club)
i guess i don't really understand looking specifically for a romantic relationship. why not let these things fall into place over time?
sorry i was unclear, by "get a job" it was a metaphor for the whole winning the lottery thing. not saying to get a hobby specifically for a woman, but just focus on improving yourself and yeah let luck take care of you, no?I have a job, thanks. No hobby or club that I'm interested ever seems to have interested girls in them and getting into a hobby just for them seems just as creepy as hanging out at the bar.
And waiting for them to fall into place relies on luck which as I said is the only real factor required.
It's a nice yet common sentiment, but I just happen to be one of those absolute fucking idiots who can't even begin to bother to care about improving myself unless I already have someone else to improve for. Solid advice for anyone with at least half a brain though.sorry i was unclear, by "get a job" it was a metaphor for the whole winning the lottery thing. not saying to get a hobby specifically for a woman, but just focus on improving yourself and yeah let luck take care of you, no?
With all due respect hun, you're using a slew of apps full of white people looking for other white people (and even most of the nonwhites there will be looking for whites too) so your results are not unexpected. This has been proven through numerous studies and stats on the subject - nonwhite men, especially Asian men, do not have a fun time on these apps. Check out ones like Tantan and 2RedBeans instead. Everyone there is specifically looking for Chinese men so you'll automatically be in demand and I think you will get way more matches on those than you ever have elsewhere.I'm a guy. Since 2019 I've been on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, PlentyofFish, OkCupid, Facebook Dating, MeetMe, and Boo. I've only ever gotten a few sparse matches on Tinder but they have never led to an in person date, I just had a few conversations that don't really go much anywhere.
even hinge? most asian guys i know with girlfriends were matched on hinge. and from what i've seen there are far more asian girls than white on itIt's pretty horrific from the female side. An unending barrage of sexual harassment, fetishization and objectification, no matter how clear you make it on your profile that you only want a serious relationship. Digging through endless pornsick trash for the distant possibility of finding one decent-ish man becomes less and less worth the effort as time goes on, hence why so many women just jump ship on these apps (Tinder's userbase is reportedly 80% male and other apps have similar stats).
With all due respect hun, you're using a slew of apps full of white people looking for other white people (and even most of the nonwhites there will be looking for whites too) so your results are not unexpected. This has been proven through numerous studies and stats on the subject - nonwhite men, especially Asian men, do not have a fun time on these apps. Check out ones like Tantan and 2RedBeans instead. Everyone there is specifically looking for Chinese men so you'll automatically be in demand and I think you will get way more matches on those than you ever have elsewhere.
I think Coffee Meets Bagel was started by an Indian guy and my sister swears that Hinge is really easy to get matches on (but Tbf she's an Asian girl so she'd get matches anywhere) but you're probably right about the other apps.With all due respect hun, you're using a slew of apps full of white people looking for other white people (and even most of the nonwhites there will be looking for whites too) so your results are not unexpected. This has been proven through numerous studies and stats on the subject - nonwhite men, especially Asian men, do not have a fun time on these apps. Check out ones like Tantan and 2RedBeans instead. Everyone there is specifically looking for Chinese men so you'll automatically be in demand and I think you will get way more matches on those than you ever have elsewhere.
Here and here and here... there's too many to link, really. If you Google "race on dating apps" you will see many more.even hinge? most asian guys i know with girlfriends were matched on hinge. and from what i've seen there are far more asian girls than white on it
could you link these studies? might be an interesting read jfl
Worth a try regardless. You could use the latter as a bonding point, actually. Tell the girls you hope they'll teach you some Mandarin because you want to reconnect with your cultural roots and stuff. Lots of people get excited at being the more knowledgeable one and having the opportunity to teach others.I'll try those other ones you said though I feel like compared to other East Asian dudes I still fall short (not literally at least) due to being in a blue collar job and not even being able to speak or read or write in Mandarin.
first two articles are pretty informative. last one is pretty bad.Here and here and here... there's too many to link, really. If you Google "race on dating apps" you will see many more.
Worth a try regardless. You could use the latter as a bonding point, actually. Tell the girls you hope they'll teach you some Mandarin because you want to reconnect with your cultural roots and stuff. Lots of people get excited at being the more knowledgeable one and having the opportunity to teach others.
i think location also has a lot to do with it. if you're somewhere super diverse you'll probably have better luck than like some small town where they'll either fetishize you or look at you like some oddity.first two articles are pretty informative. last one is pretty bad.
i think that you can do pretty well regardless of your race depending on your pheno/build, etc
surprised that black men often suffer the most, according to the second study. in physical spaces, black men tend to do very well (such as in clubs), hence why we have the term 'snow bunnies', which is a fairly common term where i'm from
I'm not crazy about the apps either, in fact my experience that I posted earlier indicates exactly how much of a failure they are.
I just think the notion that the alternative is so much easier just isn't true, least not these days. Literally the only solution seems to be to just be extraordinarily lucky. Might as well ask someone who's homeless to just keep playing the lottery.