Taking steps towards CTB

[person357]

I've tried to recover. I've given it more than a fair chance, but I've concluded lately that I'm beyond repair. I'm being realistic about it; even my psychiatrist and therapist don't have things to suggest to me anymore. I really wished I could have lived a meaningful life, but I'm broken and it is out of my reach. I prefer to not exist than to keep on living as an empty shell. So I'm starting to take steps that should help me catch the bus.

First thing is coming off Lithium, which I already started tapering off from. My psychiatrist prescribed it to me for my suicidal tendencies and depression. Although it does help with suicidal thoughts and a bit for depression it's not helping my real issues. So coming off of it might bring back my suicidal mood.

Second thing is to cancel my next therapy session, which I cancelled today. I don't believe there is getting better for me anymore, so no need to talk to her. The only thing I'm willing to talk about is my death and all things related. And if I talk to her about these stuff I'm risking involuntary hospitalization.

In addition, I intend to cancel my appointment to my psychiatrist. I'm done asking for help for a condition there is no actual treatment for.

It's a start in the right direction considering the circumstances. I really wish that for many of us here life would have been kinder.

Thank you for reading love you all

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans.

 

[day]

Life itself feels so meaningless and I find it hard to believe that there's any real reason to live. What's the point? We all grow old and die anyways. I always thought it sounded better to cut the suffering short. Suicide has always seemed preferable. Sorry the world has brought you to this point as well OP. I hope you manage to find peace truthfully.