CursedSoul
Cursed to stay, Cursed to Suffer...
- Jun 4, 2022
- 69
hi all, i just needed to vent, sorry to take up a space in the forum's feed, but man i just can't fucking take this shit anymore, i just want to say shit, and maybe that shit will be interesting, eye opening, distracting, or funny to someone, i don't fucking know, i'm just so fucking tired man.
why does everyone fucking play me ? Like seriously, why are fucking humans like this, i'm not gonna say women, because i absolutely know there's plenty of good women out there, so that would be so fucking unfair, but man, what do they get by abandoning guys/girls like us ? why do fucking people, rather they are suicidal like us or not, just don't give a shit anymore about you, whether your partner is a dude or a girl, same shit everytime. You show vulnerability/clingyness/depression/etc... watch them fuck off magically. What does someone get out of abandoning us ? i'm so fucking done.
Personnal drama, you can skip if you wish to :
Today, with the help of an absolutely great friend of mine ive met here, not gonna say his name unless he is cool with it/wants me to, helped me to try to fix my relationship with my current gf, and soon to be ex. She is absolutely done with me, removed the profile picture ive drawn for her, treats me dry etc... BUT HEY THAT'S NOT THE WORST ! she was livestreaming, doing her work, when i came back, dry as always, absolutely cold as ice, she letted herself be openly flirted by other dudes, thanking and encouraging people to tell me to fuck off/shut up just because i apparently "hurt" her with my illnesses, right, like i did that on fucking purpose... I'm suicidal enough to not give a single shit about getting publicly shat on and hated by everyone, i'm used to it lol, but damn man, is that really how you treat someone that you loved ? btw we made a break because we argued, and she gets scared of easy stuff (litterally the same picture as my profile), she cried coz she got spooked, and now i'm worth nothing, i did'nt even send it to her, I JUST PUTTED IT AS MY PROFILE PIC ON DISCORD. I'm absolutely heart broken. I really thought she was the one, loving you unconditionnally and forever my fucking ass bro. I absolutely hate her now, but the joke is, i still love her, and if she went like "omg i'm so sorry, please forgive me now i understand blablabla" guess who would be the absolute dumbfuck who would be so happy and forgive her ? me. Thanks god i had friends that contacted me to hang out on For Honor, otherwise i would have probably stabbed myself to death in the throat on the spot.
my point/question :
so yeah, to you reading this, Why do people can do that at will ? why do they not give a shit, why are they so unforgiving ? They will be the first to absolutely destroy you, insult you, blame you, etc... But when you dare complain, they will bash your head in and abandon you, fully knowing you might kill yourself from the fucking sadness. And you know what is absolutely horrible ? i went out of a 6 years relationship when i was abused, either nobody trust/believe me as guy, or they either call me a pussy. I really thought i could overcome the bad moments of my previous relationship, especially since i don't date that lightly. The more time i spent here, the more time i absolutely hate and despise other people. The only time i feel understood and cared for is when i'm here. Fuck pro livers, and Fuck people that abandon suicidal/depressed people, if anyone deserve to rot in hell, it's them.
Final comments :
the icing on the cake, is that the only glimpse of joy i feel, is when i'm in a romantic relationship, it's the only way, i know i would need a woman to love me as much as i would love her, that's litterally about it, yet, something as fucking simple as that is absolutely impossible, and you would think the internet could make it easier, absolutely not. Tired of fucking living, there's another great girl here that i also won't mention here yet that will help me kill myself with SN, i won't die alone, and i'l be with you guys in my last moments. Fuck this shit, seriously.
TL;DR : my girlfriend soon to be ex is ruining my mental health and my will to live, i could be happy in the arms of a loving girl, but i'm cursed to suffer for fucking ever.
PS :
once again, terribly sorry, but i needed to get it out, and i figured you guys might be interested to hear/share your stories, and potentially debate about it, everything is welcome, thanks for reading, and sorry for my venting, just needed to share. Have a good day/evening.
why does everyone fucking play me ? Like seriously, why are fucking humans like this, i'm not gonna say women, because i absolutely know there's plenty of good women out there, so that would be so fucking unfair, but man, what do they get by abandoning guys/girls like us ? why do fucking people, rather they are suicidal like us or not, just don't give a shit anymore about you, whether your partner is a dude or a girl, same shit everytime. You show vulnerability/clingyness/depression/etc... watch them fuck off magically. What does someone get out of abandoning us ? i'm so fucking done.
Personnal drama, you can skip if you wish to :
Today, with the help of an absolutely great friend of mine ive met here, not gonna say his name unless he is cool with it/wants me to, helped me to try to fix my relationship with my current gf, and soon to be ex. She is absolutely done with me, removed the profile picture ive drawn for her, treats me dry etc... BUT HEY THAT'S NOT THE WORST ! she was livestreaming, doing her work, when i came back, dry as always, absolutely cold as ice, she letted herself be openly flirted by other dudes, thanking and encouraging people to tell me to fuck off/shut up just because i apparently "hurt" her with my illnesses, right, like i did that on fucking purpose... I'm suicidal enough to not give a single shit about getting publicly shat on and hated by everyone, i'm used to it lol, but damn man, is that really how you treat someone that you loved ? btw we made a break because we argued, and she gets scared of easy stuff (litterally the same picture as my profile), she cried coz she got spooked, and now i'm worth nothing, i did'nt even send it to her, I JUST PUTTED IT AS MY PROFILE PIC ON DISCORD. I'm absolutely heart broken. I really thought she was the one, loving you unconditionnally and forever my fucking ass bro. I absolutely hate her now, but the joke is, i still love her, and if she went like "omg i'm so sorry, please forgive me now i understand blablabla" guess who would be the absolute dumbfuck who would be so happy and forgive her ? me. Thanks god i had friends that contacted me to hang out on For Honor, otherwise i would have probably stabbed myself to death in the throat on the spot.
my point/question :
so yeah, to you reading this, Why do people can do that at will ? why do they not give a shit, why are they so unforgiving ? They will be the first to absolutely destroy you, insult you, blame you, etc... But when you dare complain, they will bash your head in and abandon you, fully knowing you might kill yourself from the fucking sadness. And you know what is absolutely horrible ? i went out of a 6 years relationship when i was abused, either nobody trust/believe me as guy, or they either call me a pussy. I really thought i could overcome the bad moments of my previous relationship, especially since i don't date that lightly. The more time i spent here, the more time i absolutely hate and despise other people. The only time i feel understood and cared for is when i'm here. Fuck pro livers, and Fuck people that abandon suicidal/depressed people, if anyone deserve to rot in hell, it's them.
Final comments :
the icing on the cake, is that the only glimpse of joy i feel, is when i'm in a romantic relationship, it's the only way, i know i would need a woman to love me as much as i would love her, that's litterally about it, yet, something as fucking simple as that is absolutely impossible, and you would think the internet could make it easier, absolutely not. Tired of fucking living, there's another great girl here that i also won't mention here yet that will help me kill myself with SN, i won't die alone, and i'l be with you guys in my last moments. Fuck this shit, seriously.
TL;DR : my girlfriend soon to be ex is ruining my mental health and my will to live, i could be happy in the arms of a loving girl, but i'm cursed to suffer for fucking ever.
PS :
once again, terribly sorry, but i needed to get it out, and i figured you guys might be interested to hear/share your stories, and potentially debate about it, everything is welcome, thanks for reading, and sorry for my venting, just needed to share. Have a good day/evening.