Swearing out loud

[Nem]

For awhile now whenever I get frustrated I swear out loud. I work with people in a sales position and I made a huge screw up. After finishing at the customers house, I went to my car that was about two houses down and I was checking messages and one of them was from a previous call that mentioned they had gone with another company.
I looked at the previous messages and realized I left something out that couldbe gotten the contract. Without thinking I screamed fuck out loud with the windows closed and I looked up and the people whose house I had just been too were in their driveway and I had no idea that they were outside.

I'm most certain they heard me and I felt horrible, I messaged them a few days later and didn't even get a reply. I possibly lost a large commission and felt sick to my stomach since things are tough as it is. Heck, I still feel like an idiot now months later.
Does anyone else have an issue with low patience/irritability that causes one to scream swears out loud? It's a tough habit to break and can cause problems including financial issues, I put this in recovery but I'm struggling with suicide daily
Peace/hugs

 

[Dear Flabby]

I was just reading that people with PTSD often say words aloud (even swearing) to stop intrusive replays of events or negative emotions that trigger them.
At work, I thought that I was alone in a back room, second week on the job, and feeling overwhelmed, and I muttered "Fook" (not even the standard pronunciation!) and "No es bueno" (The Bumblebee Guy on the Simpson's used to say this—it's not even a swear!)
Unfortunately, a young work experience student was on the other side of the room, and I got reported. When it was brought up, weeks later, I had no idea that I had even said it!
I couldn't get fired, because no one could verify that "fook" was a swear word;)
Awkward!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Oh dear. I used to work in a news room. If you didn't swear, no one would understand anything you said.

 

[metapod]

i have tourette's so i yell out curse words all the time, most of them on purpose but i just blame the "condition"

 

[Dear Flabby]

Oh dear. I used to work in a news room. If you didn't swear, no one would understand anything you said.

I worked for a print media company 20 years ago. Sadly, the swearing was gone by then. Only the cruelty was left.
The swearing was better. The cruelty gutted me.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

FUCK

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@Nem
I've read that people who swear are more trustworthy. Pointing that out to people when you make such an error, what with having a job that may incite distrust, might earn you some trust and goodwill and end up in a sale. :)




@a.n.kirillov

Geez, man. I liked your post, and now... I just feel so hurt.

 

[Despondent]

It's a heat of the moment kinda thing.. don't focus too much on it :) It's normal. Let me tell ya.. one time I was in a store and a employee I guess was just having a rough day and screamed ''shit" then ran out
It's normal ❤