Suspected BPD. How to get help?

[dexdbxtchthewxtch]

I have been unable to have any sort of mental care for a long time due to health insurance and a lack of call backs from the only available place during my time in Florida.
I have since returned home to PA and since I am a new resident all over again so restarting the process and not sure where to start or seek help.

I have suspected I have BPD for many years. It is present in a lot of my family as well as a history of Bipolar 1. I believe the only difference in that my mood swings are minute by minute and intense, and if not intense emotions, I'm just completely numb. Out of the 9 criteria, I fit 8. My younger brother committed suicide in July 2024 at 23 and I believe he was also borderline based on everything we've gone through on his phone and stories from his friends.

Where do I start? Who do I talk to? I am at the lowest point in my life but have no health insurance for the moment.
The ideation is active. I want to die, but I have 3 children to think about. My mother, who already lost 1 child to suicide 6 months ago. My husband, who is just as lost and helpless as I am. I have to try something. I have to be able to say I tried.

I am hoping it is NOT BPD and is something potentially more manageable but I am being realistic. I just want this to stop. No one else acts like this. Normal people don't wanna die over the stupidest shit. I was diagnosed previously many moons ago with MDD and GAD.

 

[tiredtired]

maybe pick something like this up "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook :Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance"

could pirate it from z library

 

[Dot]

I have been unable to have any sort of mental care for a long time due to health insurance and a lack of call backs from the only available place during my time in Florida.
I have since returned home to PA and since I am a new resident all over again so restarting the process and not sure where to start or seek help.

I have suspected I have BPD for many years. It is present in a lot of my family as well as a history of Bipolar 1. I believe the only difference in that my mood swings are minute by minute and intense, and if not intense emotions, I'm just completely numb. Out of the 9 criteria, I fit 8. My younger brother committed suicide in July 2024 at 23 and I believe he was also borderline based on everything we've gone through on his phone and stories from his friends.

Where do I start? Who do I talk to? I am at the lowest point in my life but have no health insurance for the moment.
The ideation is active. I want to die, but I have 3 children to think about. My mother, who already lost 1 child to suicide 6 months ago. My husband, who is just as lost and helpless as I am. I have to try something. I have to be able to say I tried.

I am hoping it is NOT BPD and is something potentially more manageable but I am being realistic. I just want this to stop. No one else acts like this. Normal people don't wanna die over the stupidest shit. I was diagnosed previously many moons ago with MDD and GAD.

1st plce wld usully b bookng in wth GP/famly doctr & askng fr refrrl t/ psychtrst

Untl u hve tht spport thre r sme rsourcs in recvry sectn & also sme lnks t/ onlne mentl helth spport grps

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Thre r also sme DBT rsourcs in thred b-low

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[ebg]

Hi, personally I recommend starting with antidepressants. I find that Zoloft helped a lot with regulating my mood. I am currently taking 200mg. I find it stifles the intensity of one's emotions, so a side effect that some people don't like is that it can "zombify" you. However, I choose stability at the expense of feeling sometimes "flat" instead of emotional dysregulation. Another thing is trying to find something that forces you to go out/work towards something to give you a sense of control/accomplishment. I find that therapy did not help me much, as I do not usually think about the tips provided by my therapist after the session. Having someone to talk to, someone like a close friend or a partner is also helpful, it helps with providing you with a sense of identity as well as stability.

 

[Dot]

back from the borderline | A thoughtful, well-researched podcast with a human view of BPD

Years ago, through a very close and formative relationship, I became acquainted with Borderline Personality Disorder, the struggles of people with these symptoms, and even how badly modern psychiatry can fail those who deal with it. In a way, this relationship started my interest in mental...

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