Survival instinct is keeping me alive

[LastBitOfJoy]

I was about to do it, got so close to it but there was something that I couldn't overcome : Survival Instinct.

I just couldn't get myself to do it, I don't know why, it was so strong that I couldn't even grab the glass. It would make sense if I was in danger, but it just feels so stupid while I am so sure I want to die.

My life will only get worse everyday I don't kill myself.

I just find it very brave when people ctb, it's a hard decision and they can do it. I can't even kill myself, even if it's simple as taking the SN drink.

My brain always finds its way to torture me, this time its move was keeping me alive, making me doubt it. It's a big manipulative machine, I have to counteract it very strongly, otherwise it wins.

It's just stupid at the last time my brain tries to survive, if you are this strong dude, why don't you use that force while I am alive during the day to make my life easier? Why is it like this?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

wow, this was like reading something i could've wrote i relate so muchSI is legit the only thing stopping me. i'm confident in my method's lethality, have my instructions for my corpse typed up, even the things i want to bring w me to my spot are packed. i've gone there twice now & still can't do it. i have a deadline too (no pun intended), & if i can't kms before then i guess i'll just become homeless & keep devolving till i finally can. there is no getting better. there's no other logical choice but death.

after considering how our organs can take hours to die after death (organ donation, 6 hr window to transplant into a patient), i decided that the body must operate independently from the brain on some lvl, even when the brain's no longer operating. so even though our brain 100% knows we need to die, our body is fighting w everything it can to stay alive. it sucks ://

 

[rozeske]

Most of us here would relate to your frustration. It's not an easy thing to overcome your survival instincts and committing an attempt. I hope we can find our peace sooner than letter

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see it as brave if one manages to ctb, I hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to die. But anyway I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here in this existence, I wish you the best.

 

[hopeless08]

I was about to do it, got so close to it but there was something that I couldn't overcome : Survival Instinct.

I just couldn't get myself to do it, I don't know why, it was so strong that I couldn't even grab the glass. It would make sense if I was in danger, but it just feels so stupid while I am so sure I want to die.

My life will only get worse everyday I don't kill myself.

I just find it very brave when people ctb, it's a hard decision and they can do it. I can't even kill myself, even if it's simple as taking the SN drink.

My brain always finds its way to torture me, this time its move was keeping me alive, making me doubt it. It's a big manipulative machine, I have to counteract it very strongly, otherwise it wins.

It's just stupid at the last time my brain tries to survive, if you are this strong dude, why don't you use that force while I am alive during the day to make my life easier? Why is it like this?

I agree 100% that survival instinct is another way of torturing us even more.
I'm absolutely certain I want to die but I'm afraid the survival instinct will kick in once I have my plan ready.
Those who say that suicide is a cowards way out are completely clueless.
I feel it's the bravest thing a person can do.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Our ancestors made it this far for a reason. It's a long-lasting curse.

 

[thetruetato]

I was about to do it, got so close to it but there was something that I couldn't overcome : Survival Instinct.

I just couldn't get myself to do it, I don't know why, it was so strong that I couldn't even grab the glass. It would make sense if I was in danger, but it just feels so stupid while I am so sure I want to die.

My life will only get worse everyday I don't kill myself.

I just find it very brave when people ctb, it's a hard decision and they can do it. I can't even kill myself, even if it's simple as taking the SN drink.

My brain always finds its way to torture me, this time its move was keeping me alive, making me doubt it. It's a big manipulative machine, I have to counteract it very strongly, otherwise it wins.

It's just stupid at the last time my brain tries to survive, if you are this strong dude, why don't you use that force while I am alive during the day to make my life easier? Why is it like this?

I know how horrible this feeling is, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. It's pretty much the strongest feeling of self-hatred that exists. The feeling of an actual exit being so close but unreachable is beyond painful. Hopefully you can find a way to manage or resolve the survival instinct.

 

[Gonnerr]

Remove SI , society will crash in just a matter of days or maybe hours.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Remove SI , society will crash in just a matter of days or maybe hours.

tbh yeah, the poor will off themselves first, then the rich because then they no longer have anyone to exploit

 

[DesperateOne]

Remove SI , society will crash in just a matter of days or maybe hours.

Holy shit, where is that GIF in your pfp from? Is it a movie scene or a real CTB event that took place, I can't tell.

 

[Gonnerr]

Holy shit, where is that GIF in your pfp from? Is it a movie scene or a real CTB event that took place, I can't tell.

A real suicide, Gene Sprague , jumped from the golden gate bridge on may 11th 2004. There is a documentary on it , just google "the bridge", they caught a lot of suicide live.

Ending Suffering - When Enough is Enough

Ending Suffering - When Enough is Enough. Why do some people reach a point of no return and pursue the ultimate exit from life?

www.inspiratus.org

Photos of Gene Romal Allen “Flower” Sprague -...

Gene was a friend to all who knew him. According to those who knew him, His mother called him thumper because he was hard footed as a kid. All of his friends form age 16 on called him Flower due to his likeness to the character in Bambi. One of his friends says: On all the old Rocky Horror stuff...

www.findagrave.com

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

People all over the world have managed to commit suicide so all we have to do is to figure out how they did it.

 

[tbroken]

I thought a lot about my life and the pain is umberable, i think the best option for me would be suicide.
I'm just living on a small hope and i don't even know where it comes from.
Now i know what i want from life, but i don't think i will ever manage to get it.
I'm a slave of my parents decisions and the place i come from, i really can't do much about it. Life is nice only if you are happy.
For the ones who are struggling because of SI: stay strong, isolate yourself, don't get in touch or hang around with random people, they WILL MAKE YOU worse.