[Survey] Caring

[Fr2]

A little curiosity of mine... If anybody wants to participate with their answers, I'll be grateful.

1. What does the term "caring" imply to you?
2. How would you describe the sensation of caring with only adjectives? (the emotion/physical sensation itself)
3. How often do you feel lonely?

 

[not_a_robot]

Not gonna do your psychology homework for you...

 

[Soul]

1] It seems like a nurturing, reliable, warm feeling, but it weighs a lot.
2] ... Do you mean when I care about someone/something, or when I know someone cares about me?
3] Once or twice a year max

 

[Fr2]

1] It seems like a nurturing, reliable, warm feeling, but it weighs a lot.
2] ... Do you mean when I care about someone/something, or when I know someone cares about me?
3] Once or twice a year max

Thank you for your answers. For the second question, I meant when you care about someone.

Not gonna do your psychology homework for you...

You (+ those who reacted to your post) just answered to my 4th question. So thank you.

 

[SinisterKid]

If I wanted therapy, I would go and find a therapist who is trained to ask dumb ass questions.

No doubt there will be some adage towards the end that tells us all how we can care about ourselves and others without feeling lonely.

 

[Fr2]

So many assumptions.

 

[SinisterKid]

The only assumption being made here is yours, assuming anyone actually gives a fuck about satisfying your curiosity.

But hey, you take the intellectual high ground so you can look down on us mere mortals with your little one liners that appear so ambiguous. You are more transparent than a freakin window.

 

[crimea_river]

To be fair OP, I think it would have been better if you'd given some background, as to why you're asking the questions.

Being a little curious about something is absolutely fine, but you could say what lead you there. A brief summary would suffice.

 

[Fr2]

Given how wrong you got me, I'm not so transparent after all.

The section of the forum is Offtop. And I clearly stated: if anybody wants, i'll be grateful.

 

[vulturecyclop]

A little curiosity of mine... If anybody wants to participate with their answers, I'll be grateful.

1. What does the term "caring" imply to you?
2. How would you describe the sensation of caring with only adjectives? (the emotion/physical sensation itself)
3. How often do you feel lonely?

1. Wanting to help/fulfill someone's needs for selfless reasons.
2. Loving, friendly, selfless, supportive.
3. Everyday.

 

[crimea_river]

Given how wrong you got me, I'm not so transparent after all.

The section of the forum is Offtop. And I clearly stated: if anybody wants, i'll be grateful.

I'm going to assume that also includes a reply to me. I meant my comment without prejudice, was just musing really.

I'll refrain from participating, thank you for the opportunity and I wish you well.

 

[Fr2]

The third question is really personal and I see how it bumps with the wording "curiosity". The background would've helped indeed.

 

[Soul]

Thank you for your answers. For the second question, I meant when you care about someone.

Ok, so adjectives only ... Hm, I used some of the key ones in my first answer: nurturing, warm, open, somewhat heavy, somewhat anxious. Physically it entails some tightness between the eyebrows, a tendency to lean towards the "target" of my caring.

I'm surprised at the hard time you're getting here. I'm grateful to you for acting as an interpreter on that other thread so I leapt to respond. Others may be on edge because some newcomers here have ulterior motives, so it takes people a while to be trusting.

I have a guess of my own as to why you're asking, but I reckon it's your business.

 

[daikon]

I think it's funny how many people are coming after you for being invasive or exploitative or whatever, considering there are million "Why do you want to die, what trauma happened in your life, have you ever experienced [insert extremely private thing]" threads here. Hell, there's even a selfie thread. Anyway, I like warm and fuzzies, so:

1. Caring implies an investment of energy, primarily mental ("it's the thought that counts" and all), but also physical (if possible.) It's inconveniencing the self to better the life of an another person. You can't say you care if you don't think about the person, and you can't say you care if you have the ability to help, reach out, etc., but don't.
2. Warm, invigorating, all-encompassing — sometimes painful, exhausting, anxiety-producing
3. These days all the time, unless I'm having sex with someone or cuddling in the afterglow.

Now I'm curious: what's your fourth question?

 

[S5E51mbB]

You (+ those who reacted to your post) just answered to my 4th question. So thank you.

What IS your fourth question? Anyhow, I think I'll give your questions a try:
1. I guess when you're putting the needs of the person ahead of yours. Ideally for altruistic reasons
2. Concerned, tiring, demanding, understanding, accepting.
3. Meh, I wish I were alone a lot more.

 

[Fr2]

Ok, so adjectives only ... Hm, I used some of the key ones in my first answer: nurturing, warm, open, somewhat heavy, somewhat anxious. Physically it entails some tightness between the eyebrows, a tendency to lean towards the "target" of my caring.

I'm surprised at the hard time you're getting here. I'm grateful to you for acting as an interpreter on that other thread so I leapt to respond. Others may be on edge because some newcomers here have ulterior motives, so it takes people a while to be trusting.

I have a guess of my own as to why you're asking, but I reckon it's your business.

Thank you for your support. :)
And your detailed answer is greatly appreciated.
Same for @daikon , @S5E51mbB, @vulturecyclop !
Every response gives me a lot to think about, a detailed one is even more impactful.

I think it's funny how many people are coming after you for being invasive or exploitative or whatever, considering there are million "Why do you want to die, what trauma happened in your life, have you ever experienced [insert extremely private thing]" threads here. Hell, there's even a selfie thread. Anyway, I like warm and fuzzies, so

That feels good, to not be jumped at. Thanks :)
I think that the problem is how I worded the first post, giving people probably the impression that they are treated like lab rats. Idk. I've always struggled with expressing myself in an efficient manner. Having been raised by two abusive mentally handicaped people, who didn't have a clue how to treat people, it's no wonder. I'm doing my best to overcome this limit though.

 

[Soul]

I admire @daikon's and @S5E51mbB's answers a lot. Real caring entails effort and inconvenience - on both sides, usually. I got very cautious about that aspect of it after a major learning experience.

CS Lewis wrote (was it in The Screwtape Letters?) that it's a gender thing: for women, caring means getting actively involved, even to the extent of butting in and disordering the person's life, while for men it means leaving the person in peace, not bothering them or prying, even to the extent of neglecting their obvious needs. I think he was off base with the gender divisions, but there do seem to be two distinct approaches.

There's also pretending to care, of course, without any willingness to put in any of the effort that @daikon describes so eloquently.

 

[Fr2]

My 4th question is one that didn't need to be formulated. It is about connectivity, leaning toward it. Any reaction gives an answer to this one, regardless of how the other questions are treated.

 

[daikon]

Real caring entails effort and inconvenience - on both sides, usually. I got very cautious about that aspect of it after a major learning experience.

I definitely agree with that. I've cared for so many people that refused to accept care, and it's heart-rending. There's of course needed reciprocity in relationships in terms of doing things for the other person, but you also have to make an effort to let yourself be cared for and feel cared for, or else you're just a black hole of need.

@Fr2 I'm interested in seeing your responses too. How would you answer your questions?

 

[Fr2]

@daikon , I'm experiencing these days a methamorphosis, and my definitions/perceptions/interpretations are very fluid. I could not describe how I feel about specific concepts for the life of me. It is a very open state, ready to become anything. In stages such as this, I usually focus on some aspect that is important to me, and let it evolve like crazy (this is the perfect ground for it). This time, the caring and its forces is what I'm hovering over, ready to absorb and understand everything about it.

 

[Fadinglife]

A little curiosity of mine... If anybody wants to participate with their answers, I'll be grateful.

1. What does the term "caring" imply to you?
2. How would you describe the sensation of caring with only adjectives? (the emotion/physical sensation itself)
3. How often do you feel lonely?

I Love this question. I usually like these kinds of question. I'll have to gather my thoughts as they are scattered for now but surely, i'd come back to answering this question after i get some energy back