Venting Support Systems Are A Joke

[15dec]

I was referred to the social services a few months ago. After a social worker spoke to my family once, she decided that everything was fine (because chatting to my parents for one hour would be a perfect indicator of my family life) and referred us to an early support family team.

It was okay at first, I suppose. We had a chat at my house with my mum and a week or two later I go out for coffee with her. I didn't think it was a great support system in all honesty, it was more of an opportunity to vent. Anyway, when I asked for advice on how to deal with my dad (who has a history of domestic abuse and is emotionally, verbally and financially abusive), I would be told to tell him how his behaviour makes me feel. My mum and I have already tried that and all it does is put my dad in a rotten mood and worsens the situation.

After that, I don't hear from the support worker for a while. I didn't know if I should text her asking to meet up. It's not like there was a pressing need to vent, and I'd assumed the support services would arrange this sort of thing. She texted me once to say she was going on annual leave for a week. No calls.

Today, I got a letter saying my referral was closed. Apparently, the worker tried to call and text me to "try and support me with the concerns I was facing". It ended with "I'm sorry that you felt unable to continue with the process", as if I ever had a chance to tell them I was still interested. She also said that I'd be able to get support at college, but if I speak to any of the teachers there, they immediately call my parents and there's 0 confidentiality. So... no thanks.

It would've been nice to have someone in real life to vent to if anything did come up, I guess. It wasn't going to solve anything but I figured having that support would've been helpful. It was just another bit of fake-support in the end, and I can't say I'm surprised, but it's awful seeing that someone supposed to help you and who seemed so genuine straight-up lied to close my case and leave a few empty platitudes to soften the blow.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Hahahahaha
This is why I hate them
Social services, child protection agency
They're all a bunch of useless fucks
It's the same in America
To be fair, I SUPPOSE some of them are bound by a corrupt system. It's a bull shit agency set up by a bunch of bull shit people desperately pleading into their pillows with sad hearts but a fuck em mind.
Your situation sounds typical and I'm sorry you had some hope in them. Hopefully you can find someone who will listen irl

 

[ron_g]

About support systems being a joke. Here's an article on psychologists' stuggle against the medical model:

Psychosocially Oriented Psychologists Struggle Against the Medical Model

Interviews with psychosocially oriented psychologists demonstrate their experiences of discomfort with the hegemony of the medical model.

www.madinamerica.com

In addition, the psychologists' discussed that the "stuckness" of systems in a medical framework can also be attributed to psychiatrists' fear of losing power and influence as well as the overall tendency of practitioners to want to fall back on a purportedly "safe" and "certain" option, even if false, in the face of "complexity and extreme distress."

 

[Zaynaldeen]

Social services only help people who do not actually need any help by giving them free money while people who are so ill that they cannot even work are treated like shit and left to rot.

 

[Xaphous]

I too have had really bad experiences, and you know what it's designed that way. I was sectioned and everyone I spoke to told me they felt they were not receiving adequate help. I look at the online reviews of the mental health services here in England in my area and what a surprise literally EVERYONE gave them a 1 star rating, quoting rude staff, lack of support and so on. There is a huge lack of funding and the staff aren't trained properly. It's really sad and I feel there is still a lot of stigma with mental health. My 'talk therapy' sessions were ended without my consent even though they were useless anyway.

 

[TAW122]

@15dec Sadly, that's how a lot of mental health services are nowadays and even in the US. I've long ago gave up on seeking any advice or help from them as it's simply a waste of time and money for what I'm going for. Plus, it's too risky as saying the wrong thing will easily result in many awful consequences, including getting committed against one's will. I also don't bother trying to argue or convince others when they retort with popular statements of "you didn't want to get better nor wanted help", or "you didn't find the right person" which are both unsubstantiated claims (they have no evidence to prove otherwise) and empty promises.

@Xaphous Wow, that really sucks and it is really pathetic how there is still a strong stigma and lots of gaslighting, backpedaling, and total denial as well as ignorance in that field. It's like they refuse to be challenged and if challenged they either retort with falsehoods, misrepresentations, and even threats of consequences. I'm pretty much done with that field in general, especially the whole therapy, counseling bullshit.

 

[SkyBlue]

What's going on there... sorry you had something like that happen to you, that's some ugly stuff.

Seeing you wanted advice on how to deal with your father. I recommend you check out https://outofthefog.website/ . There's plenty of advice on how to deal with abusive people. Maybe you can take something away from it. I feel like this site should be widely known, but I don't know, so... I tried stuff like that, and it helped. Should be worth a try. There's also a forum and people with experience.

Good to see you keep fighting... may the force be with you.

 

[Nullm]

What's going on there... sorry you had something like that happen to you, that's some ugly stuff.

Seeing you wanted advice on how to deal with your father. I recommend you check out https://outofthefog.website/ . There's plenty of advice on how to deal with abusive people. Maybe you can take something away from it. I feel like this site should be widely known, but I don't know, so... I tried stuff like that, and it helped. Should be worth a try. There's also a forum and people with experience.

Good to see you keep fighting... may the force be with you.

Haven't found any relevant info on the subject on that site

 

[housecat]

Social services seems to be inadequately set up from the top down. There's an expectation for things to fit in neat little boxes, where whoever is making these boxes is probably both entirely detached from the public and has too many expectations on the people they serve (presumably through lack of understanding, but perhaps negative judgements too). People's lives and minds don't work like that, and people fall through the gaps. It seems particularly bad for people who are in need of help but have difficulty reaching out or maintaining appointments etc. People shouldn't get fucked over because of weird technicalities, and things need to be more personalised to work properly. Government often seems too focused on streamlining and treating services as though they were a business, which is ridiculous.