Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
Is anyone else planning to CTB for a reason other than mental issues?

What's your reason?

I have mental issues, but I can live with them. I'm CTB to avoid possibility of prison time. I refuse to start my life late. I'd rather have a good time and then go out happy.
 
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Its911

Its911

Sociopath
Feb 28, 2019
310
Is anyone else planning to CTB for a reason other than mental issues?

What's your reason?

I have mental issues, but I can live with them. I'm CTB to avoid possibility of prison time. I refuse to start my life late. I'd rather have a good time and then go out happy.


Im a sociopath but i can "kinda" live with it theres just some moments where it tips the scale. But im CTB because i dont want to keep hurting people emotionally and draining them psychologicaly. I only find satisfaction when i manipulate and lie to get what i want. And im fine with it, i just dont like seeing my family crumble, because of my choices. (I dont feel guilt, but this is just a way to give them peace) and in the process maybe find some more myself also.
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,452
I really liked my life, but now I have chronic pain issues that have only gotten worse with treatment, not better. I don't see a point in struggling through everyday, with no real hope of ever getting better. I'm sad that things turned out this way, but i'm not sure if I have actual depression.
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
You're not alone, I've read of many others on this forum and other places where people wanted to end it for example because of chronic disease. Completely understandable
 
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DepressionsAHo

DepressionsAHo

Heaven gained a new ho
Feb 15, 2019
831
I can't keep a job for the life of me. Depression I could maybe live with but I get fired from everything, even minimum wage jobs. I'm terrible at everything I do and fail at the most basic of tasks. I'm booksmart but when you can't apply those skills to anything, there's no hope. The career I wanted involved being very high-powered and if I can't do those tasks, then I won't be able to do any others in my actual career path. Plain and simple. essentially, I'm a dumb ass who laughs when people say they hate me cause bud. You can't hate me any more then I hate myself.
 
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DepressionsAHo

DepressionsAHo

Heaven gained a new ho
Feb 15, 2019
831
Is anyone else planning to CTB for a reason other than mental issues?

What's your reason?

I have mental issues, but I can live with them. I'm CTB to avoid possibility of prison time. I refuse to start my life late. I'd rather have a good time and then go out happy.
It fucking sucks because I see all these people surrounding me keeping a job being dope in their field being promoted having their bosses beg them to not quit or if they have, begging then to come back and then there's me. Being an utter piece of shit at everything no matter how hard I try to not be. Even at my current job, my boss Laughed at me when I asked her for a recommendation so I could apply to another and it's a fucking gas station where my main job is stocking, making coffee and taking trash out. I'm just a fucking loser at everything
 
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Skathon

Skathon

"...scarred underneath, and I'm falling..."
Oct 29, 2018
590
I have a few mental diseases, but depression is not (and has never been, I presume) one of them.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,852
Absolutely, I have a long list of reasons, some are personal and some are minor reasons, but overall, I see the world turning to shit and in the back of mind, I'd like to escape before the worst comes or if I lose my chance (illness, disability, old age, infirmity, and many more other causes, etc.). Also, given my existential and circumstances in life, I don't really enjoy life and the only real reason that I'm alive in the last decade or so is just because of escapism and copes. I never really wanted life nor accepted societal bounds and what not.
 
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Meretlein

Meretlein

Moderator
Feb 15, 2019
1,199
Well I was never diagnosed with depression or any mood disorder but I have been diagnosed with OCD. I find comfort in this because depression seems to be the go to excuse to invalidate someones' feelings and take their rights away.
 
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I

interim

Member
Feb 25, 2019
38
I can deal with depression, I've lived with it most of my life. I just don't see a point to do so any more. IMO, there is nothing of real value in this life, nothing at all. It's so superficial, especially today, after the destruction of all traditions that kept us as a society. I'm not saying traditionalism was great, it was just a framework imposing a bit more healthy goals (like caring for one person, children, education, job, etc). The European culture is pretty much done, it's no secret for anyone actually watching what is happening the last 20-30 years. I see no point to stick around to the bitter end.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
Im a sociopath but i can "kinda" live with it theres just some moments where it tips the scale. But im CTB because i dont want to keep hurting people emotionally and draining them psychologicaly. I only find satisfaction when i manipulate and lie to get what i want. And im fine with it, i just dont like seeing my family crumble, because of my choices. (I dont feel guilt, but this is just a way to give them peace) and in the process maybe find some more myself also.


I really appreciate that you're up front about being a sociopath. I wish more were honest about it. I suppose that's against the nature of sociopathy... Anyway, thanks for the honesty.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
I can't keep a job for the life of me. Depression I could maybe live with but I get fired from everything, even minimum wage jobs. I'm terrible at everything I do and fail at the most basic of tasks. I'm booksmart but when you can't apply those skills to anything, there's no hope. The career I wanted involved being very high-powered and if I can't do those tasks, then I won't be able to do any others in my actual career path. Plain and simple. essentially, I'm a dumb ass who laughs when people say they hate me cause bud. You can't hate me any more then I hate myself.


I wish our culture would have a LOT more discussion about how poverty contributes to depression and suicide. I've known several older individuals, one this past summer, who committed suicide explicitly because they'd lost all their savings (divorce, bad investments...), there were no available government resources to help, and, being older in an age-discriminating culture, they couldn't find any/enough work to afford survival even in cheaper areas of the country.
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
Although I'm depressed, I want to ctb mostly because I feel trapped: my job demands more from me than I can now give it due to chronic pain. I'm exhausted & need to find a way to just make through for a bit over 3 years, then I can retire.
 
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YukiFox

YukiFox

Pastel demon
Dec 8, 2018
320
I'm not deeply drepressed or have a diagnosis of mental illness yet, but I simply lost my passion for life. Before, I tried to convince myself that I don't have a "legitimate" Reason for end my existence, since others could be on a worse situation than me.
I'm still functional, I have a job and a place to live, sure. But I'm not a plentiful woman and any kind of action or activity that I do only makes me feel less miserable or lost.
Perhaps someone can tell me "You're only disoriented, you need a hobby and go on" Hell yes, it's easy to say that, but I'm totally indifferent to keeping me on this world. If the death comes from my hand or another event great, if not, every year it's kinda "What about now? "
So yes, we can take our lives without being deeply depressed or with the struggles of any other mental health issues, and it's okay and I don't want to be judged for my act.
 
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L

LivingToLong

Experienced
Feb 23, 2019
259
I'm not deeply drepressed or have a diagnosis of mental illness yet, but I simply lost my passion for life.

That's similar to my own position.

I am probably depressed, there are symptoms of it, but not clinically. It's more than 'feeling down', as it goes on day after day, like a 'flu that keeps me suppressed. Maybe I could be 'cured', I don't know, but I'm just too tired and worn down now from the continual efforts to lift myself and function for another day. I've given up and just want it to end. There is nothing more I want from my life, I've done enough and ticked enough boxes for me to happily say that I've done enough. I just feel it's time now.
 
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S

spicyfriedtofu

Idiot
Jun 10, 2018
68
I think a common mistake is to assume that depression is defined by feeling sad. It's not at all. Probably the most prominent symptoms affect sleep and appetite. Then also cognition, interest in activities you previously found pleasure in and the amount of energy you feel you have in general. Suicidal ideation and feeling like a failure are additional defining symptoms. Actually, "depressed mood", as it's weitten in DSM 5, pretty well captures what it's about: to be pressed down. For me, depression is exactly that: a feeling on nothing. Not sadness, not happiness; just a void. Not saying everyone here have clinical depression, but my point is that depression is more than "sadness" and there is a continuum where clinical depression is at the low extreme and mania at the high, with euthymia (i.e. normal/tranquil mood) in the middle.

Another thing is that if you go depressed a long period of time you lose sense of what it is not to be depressed. As my mood shift a lot, when I look back at when I felt good during a depressive mood, I almost can't understand how my outlook could be so different. Vice versa, when I feel better, I ask myself why I got that rope and spend all my time on this forum. Then I crash again and come back here. And now I'm just tired of the constant shifts, knowing I'll crash over and over again, so even when I have my better periods, I know I'm gonna die of suicide at some point.
 
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T

TheLastStraw

Member
May 10, 2018
55
I just don't enjoy life and it's all backbreaking effort for no pleasure, I'm not interested in anything the world has to offer materialistically, love or anything else, yet I slave away every week to survive...what's the point?
 
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Samuel

Samuel

Wise
Apr 25, 2018
243
Is anyone else planning to CTB for a reason other than mental issues?

What's your reason?

I have mental issues, but I can live with them. I'm CTB to avoid possibility of prison time. I refuse to start my life late. I'd rather have a good time and then go out happy.
You're ctb just to avoid prison time? Just run and don't tell no one where you go. Flee the country.
 
L

LivingToLong

Experienced
Feb 23, 2019
259
As my mood shifts a lot, when I look back at when I felt good during a depressive mood, I almost can't understand how my outlook could be so different. Vice versa, when I feel better, I ask myself why I got that rope and spend all my time on this forum. Then I crash again and come back here. And now I'm just tired of the constant shifts, knowing I'll crash over and over again, so even when I have my better periods, I know I'm gonna die of suicide at some point.

I know that feeling too. It's almost like I'm 2 people; an 'up' one and a 'down' one. So different are they that one can't see how the other came to their conclusions. When I'm 'up', I'm both aware that I'm going to fall and afraid of it - so being 'up' is laced with a fear of an inevitable fall. And, like you, I'm simply tired of it.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
You're ctb just to avoid prison time? Just run and don't tell no one where you go. Flee the country.

Is that still possible with all the high-tech surveillance international law enforcement uses today?
 

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