user667
Student
- May 11, 2020
- 255
my birthday is on the 24th. if i can get the SN in time i might do it that night. it's a good way to go at least. have a happy last day. at least as happy as i can be right now. but i'm actually alright right now. i'm just happy i'm dying soon. i don't know what comes after death but anything it's better than this stupid awful life. i'm so fucking ready. i have no one and nothing left. i got a text from my best friend for years saying she was done with me and all my toxicity and never to contact her again. cant say i blame her. and normally i would be completely devastated, and of course i was, but there was this strange feeling inside. like, yes this hurts but since i'll be dead soon what does it matter that she left me? i don't really care about anything anymore. i'm done. i had a dream last night. i looked out the window and saw a bunch of people hanging themselves full suspension, jumping from trees and shit. i don't really know what that means. maybe it's a sign. then the dream cut to the psych ward. that's my biggest fear. if my plan fails i have to go back there for months to years. i went a couple months ago and it was so traumatic. i just really hope i die. i'm so ready to go.
