CuddleHug

CuddleHug

Back, but with less enthusiasm. Hugs~
Feb 22, 2020
259
Since my mind is pretty much always occupied by suicidal thoughts, I had this weird idea about some kind of simulation where we could experience different methods to help us choose more easily.

I know this isn't feasible in any way since no one actually knows what it feels like to die, but wouldn't it be fantastic to try your method out before committing to it? And yes, I know, most methods include some level of pain or discomfort, but that's kind of the point. You'd be able to beat survival instinct, because you'd know it's only a simulation and you will survive. And of course there would be a way to abort at any time you wanted.

Perhaps I'm alone in thinking this, but I'd be more than happy to try several different methods if I knew there were no consequences from doing it. I'm not afraid of dying, so I wouldn't mind dying over and over again. Once I find the method I like most, I could even practise it until perfection. For example, try with and without anti-emetics, antacids and the like. Then once I was ready to go, I'd be 100% calm and know it will kill me no matter what.

It's just a silly game in my head, but what do you think? Would you practise CTB and experience death before actually doing it if you could?

Hugs~ :heart:
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
Since my mind is pretty much always occupied by suicidal thoughts, I had this weird idea about some kind of simulation where we could experience different methods to help us choose more easily.

I know this isn't feasible in any way since no one actually knows what it feels like to die, but wouldn't it be fantastic to try your method out before committing to it? And yes, I know, most methods include some level of pain or discomfort, but that's kind of the point. You'd be able to beat survival instinct, because you'd know it's only a simulation and you will survive. And of course there would be a way to abort at any time you wanted.

Perhaps I'm alone in thinking this, but I'd be more than happy to try several different methods if I knew there were no consequences from doing it. I'm not afraid of dying, so I wouldn't mind dying over and over again. Once I find the method I like most, I could even practise it until perfection. For example, try with and without anti-emetics, antacids and the like. Then once I was ready to go, I'd be 100% calm and know it will kill me no matter what.

It's just a silly game in my head, but what do you think? Would you practise CTB and experience death before actually doing it if you could?

Hugs~ :heart:
I know it's not the same. I know it may be stupid, but if your idea was death by gunshot, you could practice it by dry firing a real gun (not too much as it'll damage it) or an airsoft gun. Sometimes practicing with your fingers and letting your imagination take over can help.

You could also practice jumping from heights in a way. There isprobably some VR compatible youtube videos or something of leaping off a building. You could practice small things like turning your back and falling into the snow. Again... not the same, but it's notthe worst.

For the Night Night method, if you had a really good friend, you could tell them to stop the ratchet strap, or even just do the hold on yo themselves and let you breathe again when you pass out.

For the hanging method, you could possibly try some choking methods, although they won't be near as comfyand may scare you off.For some people, stepping into a noose I imagine would allow someone to let their imagination take over.

For drowning, there's at least waterboarding methods you canhalf ass with a wash cloth and bathtub.

For poisoning...well,you'd have to be driven to do it first, but you could take a lethal dose of SN, (Ordrink somethingto neutralize it with, but there's no guarentee) and call paramedics, saying that you accidentally ate something in a chemistry lab/left out by a friend/whatever, you can go to where you think SN would be, take it, andhide it.

For train leaping, you could practice standing around subways and closing your eyes when a train comes by, and picturing if you could really do it. Although train jumping is NOT RECOMMENDED as you may live and traumitzeso many people including the driver.

I suppose it's just a matter of imagination in the end.
 
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Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
357
I like perfecting things, so a suicide simulator with variables to add and subtract would be wonderful. I'd love a scenarios pack and a timer.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
For N it's easy; drink something that knocks you unconscious. Don't need to practice anything as an experienced binge drinker it's second nature by now.
 
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CuddleHug

CuddleHug

Back, but with less enthusiasm. Hugs~
Feb 22, 2020
259
I know it's not the same. I know it may be stupid, but if your idea was death by gunshot, you could practice it by dry firing a real gun (not too much as it'll damage it) or an airsoft gun. Sometimes practicing with your fingers and letting your imagination take over can help.

You could also practice jumping from heights in a way. There isprobably some VR compatible youtube videos or something of leaping off a building. You could practice small things like turning your back and falling into the snow. Again... not the same, but it's notthe worst.

For the Night Night method, if you had a really good friend, you could tell them to stop the ratchet strap, or even just do the hold on yo themselves and let you breathe again when you pass out.

For the hanging method, you could possibly try some choking methods, although they won't be near as comfyand may scare you off.For some people, stepping into a noose I imagine would allow someone to let their imagination take over.

For drowning, there's at least waterboarding methods you canhalf ass with a wash cloth and bathtub.

For poisoning...well,you'd have to be driven to do it first, but you could take a lethal dose of SN, (Ordrink somethingto neutralize it with, but there's no guarentee) and call paramedics, saying that you accidentally ate something in a chemistry lab/left out by a friend/whatever, you can go to where you think SN would be, take it, andhide it.

For train leaping, you could practice standing around subways and closing your eyes when a train comes by, and picturing if you could really do it. Although train jumping is NOT RECOMMENDED as you may live and traumitzeso many people including the driver.

I suppose it's just a matter of imagination in the end.
All those things are great suggestions, but no matter how close we can get without actually dying, it's not the real deal. Plus they come with risks of their own. But you're right, it's "just a matter of imagination". So in my mind, I'm running a suicide simulator where I "experience" different methods, calculate outcomes and potential mistakes or things that could go wrong. I just wish so damn much that it was real.
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
All those things are great suggestions, but no matter how close we can get without actually dying, it's not the real deal. Plus they come with risks of their own. But you're right, it's "just a matter of imagination". So in my mind, I'm running a suicide simulator where I "experience" different methods, calculate outcomes and potential mistakes or things that could go wrong. I just wish so damn much that it was real.
Yeah, they do come with risks of their own. I suppose there really is no test trial for death. I think the SN would be the best bet, as you can almost withdrawl with less than likely of anything god awful happening to you, but nothing is guarenteed, you know? Plus, like you said, it comes with risks of its own. I run those kinds of simulations in my head too.
 
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CuddleHug

CuddleHug

Back, but with less enthusiasm. Hugs~
Feb 22, 2020
259
Yeah, they do come with risks of their own. I suppose there really is no test trial for death. I think the SN would be the best bet, as you can almost withdrawl with less than likely of anything god awful happening to you, but nothing is guarenteed, you know? Plus, like you said, it comes with risks of its own. I run those kinds of simulations in my head too.
I've thought about SN as well, but then I'm like; why even bother coming back on purpose at all? If I go through all that trouble, I could just do it for real.

Ugh, who knew CTB would be such a big obstacle...
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
I've thought about SN as well, but then I'm like; why even bother coming back on purpose at all? If I go through all that trouble, I could just do it for real.

Ugh, who knew CTB would be such a big obstacle...
I mean, I suppose I didn't really think of it that way. I imagine if you don't like how it feels you could come back? But to come back to try again just a different way... I suppose you're right, that didn't make any sense *laughs*
 
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a_strange_day

Arcanist
Jul 16, 2019
461
No thanks. One death is enough for me.
 
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CuddleHug

CuddleHug

Back, but with less enthusiasm. Hugs~
Feb 22, 2020
259
No thanks. One death is enough for me.
That's totally valid too! I think I'm just obsessed over the idea of dying because I've been thinking about it so much.
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
As part of a water safety campaign there is a drowning simulator on youtube.
DBD
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Sorry, I will just leave it there :)
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hypothermia.31336/post-575198
 
Lady Lazarus 2020

Lady Lazarus 2020

Student
Jan 25, 2020
144
I've thought about SN as well, but then I'm like; why even bother coming back on purpose at all? If I go through all that trouble, I could just do it for real.

Ugh, who knew CTB would be such a big obstacle...
So much work! Ugh. Securing meto is such an errand and one I havent been successful with yet. Why can't this be easy so I can get on with it?!
 
Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Sorry, I will just leave it there :)
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hypothermia.31336/post-575198
Cold night and cold river don't sound conducive to a cosy drifting off experience no matter what drugs and booze you're on, this sounds agonising. I wouldn't do it.
DBD
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Cold night and cold river don't sound conducive to a cosy drifting off experience no matter what drugs and booze you're on, this sounds agonising. I wouldn't do it.
DBD
No, there was just a video of Drowning Simulator :)
Better put it there because obv thread is not about it
 

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