Rocksandsand

Rocksandsand

Specialist
May 26, 2019
396
If I CTB on my birthday in a week's time, do you think that will minimise the distress of my loved ones? It will only be one anniversary each year at least...
 
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T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
My b-day was going to be my expiration date. I've had a whole lot of expiration dates that got left behind. July 4th was yet another date, a day to declare independence from the mortal world. I doubt it's going to matter what date you pick.
 
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Rocksandsand

Rocksandsand

Specialist
May 26, 2019
396
My b-day was going to be my expiration date. I've had a whole lot of expiration dates that got left behind. July 4th was yet another date, a day to declare independence from the mortal world. I doubt it's going to matter what date you pick.

I guess it could just be a superficial and illusionary way of maybe minimising pain to loved ones... I'd like to think that only having one day of the year as an anniversary will make it somewhat more bearable.

My mother died on the 12th of December, and her birthday was on the 21st of January. Between those two dates, with Christmas and New Years in the middle, it was always hell. I'm hoping that keeping the dates tight makes the whole thing less painful
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
@Rocksandsand, I don't think the people who care about you will feel any better because of a date. Your concern for their feelings is touching, but they'll be shattered anyway.
 
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Kokobushi_bae26

Kokobushi_bae26

hey...yeah, I’m here too
Jun 7, 2019
44
I've thought about this too and while it would definitely be very...morbid (?) [for lack of a better word] I also think less anniversaries/dates would help lessen that uncontrollable, raw pain that comes burning to the surface whenever that time of year rolls around. I'm so sorry about your mom <3

But also consider that your birthday is a day that draws attention to you so it might be difficult to slide under the radar to ctb
 
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RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,136
I've set the same deadline for myself but for different reasons. I don't think your parents will feel any better if you leave on your birthday. They will be reminded of your passing nonetheless and it's gonna hurt. There is probably nothing you can do to ease their pain, to be honest. I usually recommend leaving behind a note to help them at least understand your reasons to leave them behind. I'm not sure how much it's gonna help in your particular case though, there will be a lot of grief and pain. That's inevitable.
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
I've thought about this too and while it would definitely be very...morbid (?) [for lack of a better word] I also think less anniversaries/dates would help lessen that uncontrollable, raw pain that comes burning to the surface whenever that time of year rolls around. I'm so sorry about your mom <3

But also consider that your birthday is a day that draws attention to you so it might be difficult to slide under the radar to ctb

well said, nothing to add here

never thought about it this way, but more the way to just express how much i don't want to live. since i would leave some sort of note it would be clear that it was no spontaneuos feeling on that day but it was planned and organized, and there was nothing in all the time that anyone could have done to stop me

not sure if this sounds right, my grammar just went down my arse when i started drinking.

an old "friend" of mine went to catch the bus around this time, 4 years ago. birthday 6/30/, death date 6/3/, but i kinda had to think about him since we got near to his birthday. it doesn't make a difference, nor lessens it any pain felt. and maybe just the month per se already reminds u of it. it also is not easy for everyone to focus on a date and get trough with it

in the end there is no good date to die.
 
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fisil

Arcanist
Mar 9, 2019
432
It's not worth it. The date don't matter, but what is when they want see you on your birthday and can't find you
 
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Rocksandsand

Rocksandsand

Specialist
May 26, 2019
396
I hadn't thought of the aspect of them not being able to find me. In my head I had kind of thought going a few days beforehand? Just so the grief and everything rolls into one day or week or whatever. Fuck I wish there was just a way to tell my brother how much I love him and I am better off being dead, even though I adore our times talking
 
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Dartz

Dartz

Give Me The Dirt
Jun 29, 2018
613
Arbitrary dates like Birthdays don't mean much to me but if you think it'd mean something after you're gone then who am I to stop you
 
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fisil

Arcanist
Mar 9, 2019
432
The other thing is if you have a good relationship to your parents it would be totally fucked up to do it on your birthdays. What would your other not so close family members think? In the end it's your decision
...
 
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Dumbass

Dumbass

Member
Jun 4, 2019
83
If you chose a day other than your birthday, they'd be reminded of your death both on your death day and your birthday.
 
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Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
219
Not saying this means you should/shouldn't do it on that day but I think it would send off the message that the person had really bad problems in their life if they were willing to do it on that day, especially if it was planned out.
 
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DreamCatcher

DreamCatcher

Still searching
Jun 18, 2019
221
I was thinking of CTB my birthday too but for different reasons.

I like the idea that your death would be on the day they'd remember you anyway so there would be one less sad day for them to remember. That's a very good idea!

For me I just thought it would be a good natural stopping point to life. I would make my way out on the same day years later that I came into the world, kind of poetic and proper. Plus it gives me an actual date every year to aim for. A kind of morbid stability knowing that if I'm ready to go by then any year, then that'll be the day to go.
 
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S

StonerHercules

Member
Jul 12, 2019
6
I thought about checking out on my birthday. I have always been the black sheep of the family who has been known to experiment with drugs so it would just seem like i od'ed on something accidentally. Instead of writing a note as such i would just leave something that says "if anything happens to me". Seems like it would save some pain on the family
 
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Funkbunny

Student
Nov 18, 2018
116
Really? Like anything is going to 'minimise the impact_.
 
AnnaJaspers

AnnaJaspers

Experienced
Jul 2, 2019
217
Not saying this means you should/shouldn't do it on that day but I think it would send off the message that the person had really bad problems in their life if they were willing to do it on that day, especially if it was planned out.

Why? Can you give reasons for this?
 
Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
219
Why? Can you give reasons for this?
Your birthday is meant to be a day where you are happy and celebrate, the idea someone is spending it alone hanging themselves is not a good look.
 

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