Suicide notes

[BorderlineSuixide]

Hiya...
I am actually pretty good at writing till it comes to this...
any one good at writing? I need a suicide letter written to family about how bad i feel and they couldn't have done anything yet i also want them to know they are also to blame for making me so depressed, specifically my mum who treats and speaks to me like shit. Also my dad who is an ex convict/drug addict who was never hear for me my whole life and constantly let me down.

Any contributions would be great, thanks...

Kay

 

[ghostspace]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad place, but I don't think anyone here is going to do that for you. You don't have to leave a note if you don't want to, and if you do, I don't think the quality of the writing is what people are going to care about.

 

[justfloating]

just write one and let if low out then revisit and edit it again and again until it says exactly what you want it so say

 

[time2register]

I've been wanting to write one for awhile. I always wanted to write a book too. So every time I sit down to write I feel like I'm starting a suicide note or memoir. Those are essentially the same thing to me anyway.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad place, but I don't think anyone here is going to do that for you. You don't have to leave a note if you don't want to, and if you do, I don't think the quality of the writing is what people are going to care about.

I agree. Regardless of what words your write or what you say, any explanation has to come from you, imperfections and all that jazz

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I have my editor hat on right now. I'm focusing on the problem. I get very dry when I'm like this, I'm not in comforting mode, all I see is the problem. So please don't take this as harsh, I'm not coming from a space like that at all.

I think you may be having a hard time writing it because you seem to be wanting to make them blameless, and yet you blame them. Clearly there are things they could have done, and in the case of your mom, could still do now. Based on what you wrote in your OP, as an editor and a writer, I can't reconcile this:




I killed myself and I feel bad that it hurt you.

There is nothing you could have done to stop me and I want you to feel better.

Except it's your fault. I did it because I was depressed and you're the ones who made me depressed with your treatment of me, which at least one of you continued until the end.




Edit: If it helps, my parents are not the cause of my ctb, but we have been estranged for several years. I am not sending them a letter because they will not hear me if I'm the one who starts the conversation. So I wrote them a letter and posted it here in case they come looking. If you want to read it, linking here. It shows that there is not going to be closure, which is hard; that they need to own some shit outside of my ctb; and I wish for them to be able to move forward and have happiness -- in short, it is conflicted, so I get why you're having a problem with your letter.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...they-come-to-this-site-seeking-answers.31255/

 

[jgm63]

Hiya...
I am actually pretty good at writing till it comes to this...
any one good at writing? I need a suicide letter written to family about how bad i feel and they couldn't have done anything yet i also want them to know they are also to blame for making me so depressed, specifically my mum who treats and speaks to me like shit. Also my dad who is an ex convict/drug addict who was never hear for me my whole life and constantly let me down.

Any contributions would be great, thanks...

Kay

I think it's a very personal thing, and you have to just write what you wish to say.
I would just start jotting down your thoughts in a document, and keep adding to it whenever you think of something.
Then later you can try to reduce it down or remove duplicate items, and organise it better, etc.

This may also be helpful :
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sending-delayed-scheduled-messages-goodbye-notes-etc.32532/

 

[time2register]

I believe it should be cathartic. A good suicide letter may even save your life. I've always wanted to tell my life story. It doesn't need to be a full memoir, it doesn't need to encompass every event that happened in my life. I just hope to discover a narrative technique that translates my experience.

I don't believe I'm fully beyond healing; I just was so tired and so scared that I didn't want to hurt anymore. I didn't mean to take my pain and spread it onto the dear people who managed to love me. I didn't not love them back. I was just so tired and scared and hoped you loved me enough to understand that the pain made it difficult for me to understand how to struggle so much just to be in more pain.

 

[ImSoTired]

I didn't write one the first time I attempted, just texted my fiance that I love her.
I've been considering writing one this time around, so I'd love tips as well.

 

[BorderlineSuixide]

I have my editor hat on right now. I'm focusing on the problem. I get very dry when I'm like this, I'm not in comforting mode, all I see is the problem. So please don't take this as harsh, I'm not coming from a space like that at all.

I think you may be having a hard time writing it because you seem to be wanting to make them blameless, and yet you blame them. Clearly there are things they could have done, and in the case of your mom, could still do now. Based on what you wrote in your OP, as an editor and a writer, I can't reconcile this:




I killed myself and I feel bad that it hurt you.

There is nothing you could have done to stop me and I want you to feel better.

Except it's your fault. I did it because I was depressed and you're the ones who made me depressed with your treatment of me, which at least one of you continued until the end.




Edit: If it helps, my parents are not the cause of my ctb, but we have been estranged for several years. I am not sending them a letter because they will not hear me if I'm the one who starts the conversation. So I wrote them a letter and posted it here in case they come looking. If you want to read it, linking here. It shows that there is not going to be closure, which is hard; that they need to own some shit outside of my ctb; and I wish for them to be able to move forward and have happiness -- in short, it is conflicted, so I get why you're having a problem with your letter.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...they-come-to-this-site-seeking-answers.31255/

thank you! I will be using this when i do write it! I'll post what i come up with soon!

 

[faust]

Hello,
First I thought it will be a suicidal note just about why you are leaving and was going to offer my help.
But then I saw in your final note you want to blame a few people. And I thought that I am not too good in blaming and would make an accent on politeness, so I am not a perfect candidate.

 

[aukguy]

Kinda with @faust on this. I know you are hurting and want to go out in a blaze of glory, giving it to your mum and dad with both written barrels, but its not going to change anything. If your aim is to make them feel bad then a polite letter letting them know you love them might be better in appealing to their regrets at home they treated you; or, if they are heartless then it will be water off a ducks back and might just feed into their thoughts that you are just lashing out. Either way I cant see anything good coming of it.

But, its your letter to write - someone else giving you tidbits to go in means its not really your letter. Just write what you feel I guess.