Discussion suicide notes?

[sunny cat]

how do you plan to write yours? will you write one in the first place? will you persecute the people who wronged you, thank the ones that made existence even a little bearable, or will you just write what you want done with your body and possessions?

to be honest, i'm not sure what i will do. it scares me deeply to think that my note could harm people i care about, but i also fear the pain that not leaving one could cause. it's funny, because planning my actual suicide is much less stressful than planning my note, haha

 

[Redt2go]

I read a lot of articles, research studies and stories of those grieving a suicide. Leaving no note makes it difficult across the board for them to understand.

Blaming other people is immature..

I have a note for my mother, one for family/friends, one with instructions for my body, one with instructions in case I survive with permanent brain damage...

Basically I read other letters and the things families regretted most or felt the most blame for and addressing those in my letter

 

[Its911]

how do you plan to write yours? will you write one in the first place? will you persecute the people who wronged you, thank the ones that made existence even a little bearable, or will you just write what you want done with your body and possessions?

to be honest, i'm not sure what i will do. it scares me deeply to think that my note could harm people i care about, but i also fear the pain that not leaving one could cause. it's funny, because planning my actual suicide is much less stressful than planning my note, haha

I have one for each of my close family members, and someone in my recent past that i hurt emotionally to a great extent, the rest are to my best friend, and instuctions on my burial and incase im brain dead, or in a coma.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

Haha. I can relate to feeling more overwhelmed by sitting down and writing a note than by planning how you'll die. Last time I made an attempt, I left a very sincere (and VERY brief) note, basically saying how sorry was, and reassuring everyone that it was not their fault. My family found and read the note--how humiliating. But at least now that's one less thing to do before I try again. Lol.

 

[Edrudd]

I won't write a letter. It's my right to end my life

 

[Kazilium]

Video and/or letter. Ironically. Video for those that i feel like they deserve an answer (it's 2 people anyway). Letter for not getting anyone legally involved and for letting them know what to do with my possessions.

 

[Redt2go]

Video and/or letter. Ironically. Video for those that i feel like they deserve an answer (it's 2 people anyway). Letter for not getting anyone legally involved and for letting them know what to do with my possessions.

I want to do a video so bad but I worry my family will be disturbed and hurt by how calm and not sad I am about dying...

 

[JustAboutDone]

@sunny cat
I don't know if you've seen the feedback section, in there (I think) @Johnnythefox very kindly put a link up to a thing about suicide notes which is really good x

 

[JustAboutDone]

I read a lot of articles, research studies and stories of those grieving a suicide. Leaving no note makes it difficult across the board for them to understand.

Blaming other people is immature..

I have a note for my mother, one for family/friends, one with instructions for my body, one with instructions in case I survive with permanent brain damage...

Basically I read other letters and the things families regretted most or felt the most blame for and addressing those in my letter

I really like that thread you put up about Tara Condell - it's weird but it still haunts me. Idk
Her letter was beautiful
Thank you for bringing it to my attention xx

 

[throwaway777]

anyone know how can i convince my religious parents to not make a funeral 4 me ... and in the hypothetical oudHJDIWDdkdkdjedjkJDKehdheWJdekaaaaaaaaaa case the sn doesnt completely kill me before 8 h to not let me be a vegetable and let me go??

 

[JustAboutDone]

anyone know how can i convince my religious parents to not make a funeral 4 me ... and in the hypothetical oudHJDIWDdkdkdjedjkJDKehdheWJdekaaaaaaaaaa case the sn doesnt completely kill me before 8 h to not let me be a vegetable and let me go??

That is a really tricky one - and, with apologies here to anyone who works in a business selling funeral packages, I often feel that there is a bit of "if you love your loved one choose this 10,0000£ silk lined casket" etc

You can try leaving a letter with your express wishes of how you want to be remembered and what you want to happen and just hope they do it x

 

[Flutter]

anyone know how can i convince my religious parents to not make a funeral 4 me ... and in the hypothetical oudHJDIWDdkdkdjedjkJDKehdheWJdekaaaaaaaaaa case the sn doesnt completely kill me before 8 h to not let me be a vegetable and let me go??

Are you able to make a will and funeral directive? I state in my will what I want done to my body, and I'm currently working on my funeral directive. They're both legal documents, but it's anyone's guess if people will follow them after death.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I plan not to write anything.

 

[TAW122]

I will leave notes for my family (sister, mother, father), the people close to me, and then some people who have been special to my life. I wouldn't really put the blame on anyone, but I will be open about my thoughts (even if it might offend some people, at least they deserve to understand what I really think). I might even have a general note to you guys on here because once I ctb, someone else has to put up the good fight here and I don't want all the good insight and knowledge to just die with me. I believe some of my insights and perspectives may help to achieve the pro-choice society that most of dream of seeing one day and may also help strengthen arguments against pro-lifers.

Specifically, for my father, I will use logic to explain stuff (he seems to understand more logical reasoning and stuff) as well as my reasoning and absolving him of guilt, then instructions on what to do after my death (no funeral, take my money and assets, etc.). For my mother, it will be short, absolving her of guilt, and helping her cope with such a loss. For my sister, I will also absolve her of guilt, but will offer my opinion and two cents about how bad the system is and explain why I don't want 'help' and what not. I'm not going to shame or blame her, but at least help her understand my pov and why the system is bad (ironically she is a resident psychiatrist in another state so maybe she might just deny everything and ignore everything I say, but I trust that she is rational and smart enough to understand my reasoning - after all, she went through med school, she is more academically successful than me and has a higher IQ than me). As for people living around me such as landlord, roommates, and close people outside of my family, well I'll just keep my explanation short, absolve them of guilt, and of course they will receive my note after my family finds out. Then to the people who have been helpful and influential in my life, I absolve them of guilt, thank them for doing the right things and helping me while I was still alive, and help them cope. As for the people who have been bad and hurt me, well they don't deserve a note or explanation.

 

[CTB-London]

I read a lot of articles, research studies and stories of those grieving a suicide. Leaving no note makes it difficult across the board for them to understand.

Blaming other people is immature..

I have a note for my mother, one for family/friends, one with instructions for my body, one with instructions in case I survive with permanent brain damage...

Basically I read other letters and the things families regretted most or felt the most blame for and addressing those in my letter

I would look into the legal requirements for a medical living will / advance directive wherever you are. If, for example, it needs to be witnessed your letter may not have legal effect.

 

[Maximoo]

I just want my family to be able to move on after I ctb. I think I'm just gonna try to explain why I did it, that I'm really sorry and that they shouldn't blame themselves. Also try to convince them to let me go in case I fail and end up a vegetable, but I have no idea how to word that

 

[WhiteRabbit]

My death will come as a total shock, so i'm leaving well thought out notes. I don't want my family to be left wondering if there was anything they could've done to stop me. I'm also leaving a detailed will and burial instructions.

 

[Redt2go]

I just want my family to be able to move on after I ctb. I think I'm just gonna try to explain why I did it, that I'm really sorry and that they shouldn't blame themselves. Also try to convince them to let me go in case I fail and end up a vegetable, but I have no idea how to word that

that's sweet

 

[JustAboutDone]

I've been thinking about notes and letters so much recently. I like your forward planning and organisation @WhiteRabbit
My first thought was always no notes - I write lots of diaries and things so friends and people I know and love will read how I felt. But I think a positive upbeat final letter would be nice just so friends etc know things were my way all the way.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I never planned on writing a letter. The closest I have are emails I have been sending to my daughter of pictures and notes I wrote her, so when she is older she'll know how much I love her. There's nothing in there about my death, though.

 

[Jacquelyn]

how do you plan to write yours? will you write one in the first place? will you persecute the people who wronged you, thank the ones that made existence even a little bearable, or will you just write what you want done with your body and possessions?

to be honest, i'm not sure what i will do. it scares me deeply to think that my note could harm people i care about, but i also fear the pain that not leaving one could cause. it's funny, because planning my actual suicide is much less stressful than planning my note, haha

I'll try to schedule a video upload to YouTube and write my suicide note as a PDF and link it on Twitter and Discord right before I go.

 

[snowman626]

I don't think I'll write a note or video, I don't want that to be the last thing my family remembers of me. I just cannot stand the thought of writing a suicide note, imagining my mother looking at it and holding it in her hands crying or something.

I think what I'll do is I'll spend my last days with them pretending I'm doing okay. Then one day I'll tell them I'm going on a hiking trip or something, to the grand canyon perhaps? My plan has always been to ctb in the wilderness so I'd actually be telling them the truth.

Then just tell them that if I don't come back in 2 weeks or whatever then that probably means I'm lost and probably died from dehydration. In the months or even a few years beforehand I'll probably go on a few "successful" trips where I come back, this will erase any suspicion that I go on the trip just for suicide.

I just want my family to think that I died on a hiking trip doing what I enjoy and that I didn't kill myself because of depression. This will help them move on a lot better than any suicide note ever can.

 

[EvilForProfit]

Haha. I can relate to feeling more overwhelmed by sitting down and writing a note than by planning how you'll die. Last time I made an attempt, I left a very sincere (and VERY brief) note, basically saying how sorry was, and reassuring everyone that it was not their fault. My family found and read the note--how humiliating. But at least now that's one less thing to do before I try again. Lol.

LOL I can't imagine that. Thanks for sharing hahaha

 

[EvilForProfit]

anyone know how can i convince my religious parents to not make a funeral 4 me ... and in the hypothetical oudHJDIWDdkdkdjedjkJDKehdheWJdekaaaaaaaaaa case the sn doesnt completely kill me before 8 h to not let me be a vegetable and let me go??

These exact thoughts could've come from my head... I hope your desires are honored

 

[21Neberg]

will you write one in the first place?

I'm NOT going to write one, because I've tried and this is what I found:
- the emotional wreck that is me can not endure the thought of my grieving family reading the note I'm writing
- I don't know what to say honestly - "sorry for ruining your life."?

I don't know. Ofcourse I feel guilty for not leaving a note but I know that they'll get over my death one day. I just hope that day comes soon for them.

 

[locusdelicti]

I would look into the legal requirements for a medical living will / advance directive wherever you are. If, for example, it needs to be witnessed your letter may not have legal effect.

This is correct. It varies state by state in the US, but you need witnesses and a notary public in almost all cases. Also, some care should be given to creating a will for after you CTB if you have assets and want to avoid probate (although in some states, probate cannot be avoided). For example, in my state, I have a living will, medical power of attorney, and I'm meeting with an estate planning lawyer in two weeks to create a will for directing the dissemination of my assets and designating an executor. In my state, however, probate cannot be avoided, even with the existence of a last will and testament, but a common "omission" by lawyers with whom you consult is that by checking the website of the court of the county in which you live, you can usually download the two or three documents needed to be filled out, and the court clerk can walk your executor through what they need to do. This means the probate process can be handled for a few hundred dollars as opposed to spending over a grand for an attorney to drive to the courthouse and use their bathroom. Leave this information in your note to your executor.

Even if you don't plan on writing a note for "explanation" or "closure," it can be very helpful to leave instructions as to how you would like to have certain things handled. For example, while I'm leaving the majority of my assets to one person, I've instructed that person I'd like to have certain items gifted to certain people. I've included contact information for people in order to get in touch with them.

Dealing with your death is going to be shocking. Traumatizing. Anything you can do to help the living cope with the administration aspects will really go a long way toward easing their burden. Obviously this only applies if you care about that sort of thing. If it doesn't apply or you don't care, your job becomes a lot easier. :)

 

[YukiFox]

I have two issues about suicide notes.
Firstly, since I want to become a writer, at least a published or known one - not kind a famous one - it's a struggle to me to leave a "Classic" feature among suicidal writers or poets. So I don't want to do for that reason.
Secondly it's most personal. I don't want to leave clues to police. They always looks for a note. I want to do as a private act. The details about my funeral or belongings will be revealed at last will.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I wrote my goodbye note months ago and I'm not blaming anyone. My note is simply about explaining the circumstances that led to my decision to leave. And it's mostly connected to struggles I face as a transgender person and I want to make sure people understand that. I also talk about feeling severe relief facing death. I want people to know that I left with a peaceful mind, without fear. And I will let them know that this decision didn't happen overnight. It was a slow, long process that lead to my suicide. I want them to know that this didn't happen on impulse. I'm planning it for months now and that's what it will look like. I mean, people will probably figure that out, considering I'll leave with N, one of the most lethal substance for a peaceful exit. And you can't just buy that in a grocery store. Obtaining N includes planning and spending financial resources on a peaceful death.

I also talk about all the things that should happen after my death. I specifically said I don't want a funeral, for various reasons. I want cremation. I also told them to create an obituary in a newspaper of my choice. My notes are very neutral and I don't intend to hurt anyone with my suicide. I'm not gonna blame the people who bullied in school and I'm not gonna call out any names. That's not the point of my exit. It's about protesting the system and escaping the pain, at least for me.

 

[Vaughn]

the famous singer "Dalida" left a suicide note ( suicide at 53) she wrote "Forgive me, but life has become insupportable" ......

 

[CTB-London]

I have two issues about suicide notes.
Firstly, since I want to become a writer, at least a published or known one - not kind a famous one - it's a struggle to me to leave a "Classic" feature among suicidal writers or poets. So I don't want to do for that reason.
Secondly it's most personal. I don't want to leave clues to police. They always looks for a note. I want to do as a private act. The details about my funeral or belongings will be revealed at last will.

I think it's best to at least say it was suicide so the authorities don't have to investigate other possibilities.