Suicide letters

[RideOrDie]

I just cried for two hours in the midst of writing my suicide letter. I've been writing these letters for almost 4 years now. This year I've written 3. I kept attempting but this time I really think it would be my last. I've put the letters in different bags, some places I can't even remember but one letter links to another, hopefully they find everything. If they don't, it's fine too, I've written all the important stuff in my most recent ones. I'm going really going to go sooner than I expected. I never thought I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer, I really thought things would get better and I would make it just until Christmas, but I guess it'll just be this October. I don't feel great at the moment. I'm alone in my dorm room and have a long quiz tomorrow, I still haven't studied and things just keep piling up. I don't have the energy to do anything anymore, and it makes me feel really down, empty, numb. The cycle keeps repeating itself. I just really want peace. I told my parents that I need help but they're just in denial, they never really listen. So I just stopped trying to ask from help and thought, "I'm going to try and suck it up until I can't anymore." At least I tried. I don't want to keep postponing. I hope my brain doesn't go into survival mode again when I ctb. I really want to let go.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings of wanting to escape from this life are understandable. Life does just seem to be constant suffering and endless negative experiences with no real relief from ourselves and our thoughts. I understand feeling so tired of everything, to me it would be ideal to just rest and finally be free from this life.
I wish you freedom.

 

[theboy]

The note will be a consolation for your family
Hugs

 

[Un-]

I don't know what to say, but I feel like I should say something. Our situations are really similar. I guess I hope you feel understood. And seen. I hope you don't feel judgement. I hope you don't feel awful that you didn't make it to Christmas. If it counts for anything, I'm proud of you, stranger. I'm proud that you've fought tooth and nail against yourself to make it this far in life.

You deserve peace. You really do.