Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[L'absent]

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, stop everything! We are in the presence of the Einstein of motivational psychology, the Tesla of obviousness, the Mozart of cliché wisdom. A prodigy of human intellect who has just solved the entire existential dilemma with the same depth as a fortune cookie written by a hamster on amphetamines.
What a historic moment! Imagine all the great philosophers rolling in their graves, seething with jealousy for not having come up with such an earth-shattering revelation. Sartre? Schopenhauer? Amateurs. Apparently, centuries of existential thought were a complete waste of time when all it took was one Hallmark-card-sized phrase to solve the meaning of life.
But let's take a good look at this dispenser of prepackaged wisdom. See that glimmer in their eyes? That sacred glow of self-satisfaction, the smugness of someone who believes they've just dropped a truth bomb so powerful it will reshape the universe. They feel like a god. They utter the phrase and now expect the world to halt in reverence, bystanders to weep in gratitude, maybe even a statue erected in their honor.
But nothing happens. Because the truth is, this phrase has the same intellectual impact as a fart in a hurricane. It's so banal, so overused, so utterly stupid that just repeating it should be classified as a crime against intelligence.
But let's imagine the moment this person first discovered this pearl of wisdom. Maybe they read it scrawled on a public restroom wall, wedged between a phone number and an insult to someone's mother. Maybe they found it printed on the back of a scratch-off lottery ticket, right next to an ad for predatory loans and a half-baked horoscope. And boom! Epiphany. "This phrase will change my life. No, better! It will change everyone's life! I must spread it, I must share it, I must regurgitate it to every poor soul I encounter!"
And so, armed with the self-confidence of a toddler explaining quantum mechanics, they embark on their holy mission: to enlighten the ignorant masses, to make sure every suffering soul knows that their problems are just temporary, that life is beautiful, that all it takes is a little patience. Because they know. They understand. They alone hold the key to saving humanity, one brainless slogan at a time.
So, the next time someone drops this phrase on you, take a deep breath. Look them straight in the eyes. Reflect on all the poor life choices that led them to believe they just said something profound when, in reality, they've just uttered the philosophical equivalent of a burp. Then, with all the seriousness you can muster, respond:

"Wow, genius. Tell me, do you find these in a catalog, or do they tattoo them directly onto your brain at birth?

 

[Unspoken7612]

I think most people have little trouble recognising this as a problematic sentiment, because it's supposed to be anti-suicide but a permanent solution is a good thing.

 

[Jadeith]

L'absent, let me tell you this - i wish i was so versed in my native (or any other tbh) language to come up with something like this on the fly. Love it.

 

[2messdup]

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, stop everything! We are in the presence of the Einstein of motivational psychology, the Tesla of obviousness, the Mozart of cliché wisdom. A prodigy of human intellect who has just solved the entire existential dilemma with the same depth as a fortune cookie written by a hamster on amphetamines.
What a historic moment! Imagine all the great philosophers rolling in their graves, seething with jealousy for not having come up with such an earth-shattering revelation. Sartre? Schopenhauer? Amateurs. Apparently, centuries of existential thought were a complete waste of time when all it took was one Hallmark-card-sized phrase to solve the meaning of life.
But let's take a good look at this dispenser of prepackaged wisdom. See that glimmer in their eyes? That sacred glow of self-satisfaction, the smugness of someone who believes they've just dropped a truth bomb so powerful it will reshape the universe. They feel like a god. They utter the phrase and now expect the world to halt in reverence, bystanders to weep in gratitude, maybe even a statue erected in their honor.
But nothing happens. Because the truth is, this phrase has the same intellectual impact as a fart in a hurricane. It's so banal, so overused, so utterly stupid that just repeating it should be classified as a crime against intelligence.
But let's imagine the moment this person first discovered this pearl of wisdom. Maybe they read it scrawled on a public restroom wall, wedged between a phone number and an insult to someone's mother. Maybe they found it printed on the back of a scratch-off lottery ticket, right next to an ad for predatory loans and a half-baked horoscope. And boom! Epiphany. "This phrase will change my life. No, better! It will change everyone's life! I must spread it, I must share it, I must regurgitate it to every poor soul I encounter!"
And so, armed with the self-confidence of a toddler explaining quantum mechanics, they embark on their holy mission: to enlighten the ignorant masses, to make sure every suffering soul knows that their problems are just temporary, that life is beautiful, that all it takes is a little patience. Because they know. They understand. They alone hold the key to saving humanity, one brainless slogan at a time.
So, the next time someone drops this phrase on you, take a deep breath. Look them straight in the eyes. Reflect on all the poor life choices that led them to believe they just said something profound when, in reality, they've just uttered the philosophical equivalent of a burp. Then, with all the seriousness you can muster, respond:

"Wow, genius. Tell me, do you find these in a catalog, or do they tattoo them directly onto your brain at birth?

When I hear that it just makes me remember how permanent my problems are.

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

My mood has been so black lately but this legitimately made me laugh out loud. You make an excellent satirical writer!

 

[2messdup]

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, stop everything! We are in the presence of the Einstein of motivational psychology, the Tesla of obviousness, the Mozart of cliché wisdom. A prodigy of human intellect who has just solved the entire existential dilemma with the same depth as a fortune cookie written by a hamster on amphetamines.
What a historic moment! Imagine all the great philosophers rolling in their graves, seething with jealousy for not having come up with such an earth-shattering revelation. Sartre? Schopenhauer? Amateurs. Apparently, centuries of existential thought were a complete waste of time when all it took was one Hallmark-card-sized phrase to solve the meaning of life.
But let's take a good look at this dispenser of prepackaged wisdom. See that glimmer in their eyes? That sacred glow of self-satisfaction, the smugness of someone who believes they've just dropped a truth bomb so powerful it will reshape the universe. They feel like a god. They utter the phrase and now expect the world to halt in reverence, bystanders to weep in gratitude, maybe even a statue erected in their honor.
But nothing happens. Because the truth is, this phrase has the same intellectual impact as a fart in a hurricane. It's so banal, so overused, so utterly stupid that just repeating it should be classified as a crime against intelligence.
But let's imagine the moment this person first discovered this pearl of wisdom. Maybe they read it scrawled on a public restroom wall, wedged between a phone number and an insult to someone's mother. Maybe they found it printed on the back of a scratch-off lottery ticket, right next to an ad for predatory loans and a half-baked horoscope. And boom! Epiphany. "This phrase will change my life. No, better! It will change everyone's life! I must spread it, I must share it, I must regurgitate it to every poor soul I encounter!"
And so, armed with the self-confidence of a toddler explaining quantum mechanics, they embark on their holy mission: to enlighten the ignorant masses, to make sure every suffering soul knows that their problems are just temporary, that life is beautiful, that all it takes is a little patience. Because they know. They understand. They alone hold the key to saving humanity, one brainless slogan at a time.
So, the next time someone drops this phrase on you, take a deep breath. Look them straight in the eyes. Reflect on all the poor life choices that led them to believe they just said something profound when, in reality, they've just uttered the philosophical equivalent of a burp. Then, with all the seriousness you can muster, respond:

"Wow, genius. Tell me, do you find these in a catalog, or do they tattoo them directly onto your brain at birth?

Made me laugh. You have a way with words. Felt every bit of that. Thank you. Permission to print it out and wordlessly hand it to the next offender please lol?

 

[Johnzaga23]

This statement is so stupid and pointless, that it makes you really question human intelligence. Along with the obvious fact that many problems are not temporary, there is nothing wrong with permanent solutions. The fact that people continue spreading this nonsence is crazy.

 

[NegevChina]

My problem is not permanent. It is constantly getting worse.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Just love your sense of humour. Is it a French thing?

 

[always_sad]

It's annoying because it's designed to put you down, not to support you emotionally. It minimizes your pain and there's this assumption that some slight annoyance made you suicidal and you are so weak and pathetic that you would rather kill yourself than deal with the problem. Very ignorant.
Platitudes are worthless and I don't speak to self righteous people

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I enjoyed reading this XD

 

[imastain]

i wouldnt be here to commit suicide if suicide wasnt a permanent solution

 

[GoSan1]

It also pissed me off hearing that quote, as it contradicts itself simply by its meaning.

So if pains and all are temporary problems, and suicide is a permanent solution, wouldn't that mean suicide is the best-fit solution, as it takes any chances for the temporary problems to return away? Would a Company resolve a problem with a solution that only works partly or one that fixes the problem forever?

When someone's dreams and wishes are nonexistent in this world, is that a temporary problem?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Oh, absolutely. I only ever bother trying to figure out temporary solutions to most problems. What's that? A bone deep laceration- a sticky plaster will do just fine.

What's the big problem with permanent solutions? Whether the problem is temporary or not? It would only be a problem if the solution (death) turns out worse than the cause of wanting to die (a life filled with struggling presumably.) Which, none of us can be certain about I suppose but it's entirely possible that death is simply absence. The absence of pain, joy and regret so- no way of even missing our lives- very possibly.

Seriously though. Sure, I think there's value in taking a good step back, trying to assess what's wrong with our lives and, whether we have much chance of making things better. I imagine the vast majority of people have already done that before settling on suicide though. It's kind of insulting really to assume we're so stupid that we haven't already considered multiple solutions (and very likely tried a bunch of them) before contemplating suicide in a practical way.

 

[TastySorrow]

Besides the cliche, the phrase is so semantically clunky that it hurts. Who doesn't want a permanent solution for their problems, even if it doesn't involve committing suicide?

"Oh, I know beforehand this is going to be a temporary problem because I'm a demigod with the ability to foresee the future, so this will only require a temporary fix"

 

[Falling_apart]

I think most people have little trouble recognising this as a problematic sentiment, because it's supposed to be anti-suicide but a permanent solution is a good thing.

Yeah, its like when idiots try to shame us by saying that suicide is a coward's way out. They don't seem to realise that a coward's way out is still a way out.