Story Suicide dreams

[edgelordcel]

Recently I've been having dreams of committing in the ways that I have planned to do so, which is by train and jumping. Most of my dreams have been me putting my neck against the railing and the train, well, slicing it off. However I feel no pain in this dream, but I see it as a way to get over the initial fear of setting myself up to die. The first time I ever had a dream like this I was too scared to actually put my neck on the tracks and I ended up changing my mind. I then had 2 more dreams where I did to it, and 1 other dream where I jumped off a cliff.

(For some background info, I have never attempted before but I have been thinking about/planning my suicide since July.)

Anyway, what I'm wondering is what kind of meaning these dreams have and if it is to prepare me for suicide, or just because I think about it all the time. I'm very interested in my dreams and believe there is always some kind of meaning to it, no matter how weird they are. I'd like to hear if anyone else has had dreams like this and how they interpreted it.

 

[sanctionedusage]

ive never had a suicide dream before, or any recurring dream
thats actually really interesting

i did have a dream i overdosed on opioids and wandered through the entire city looking for help, but no one would stop. even familiar faces.

 

[crazyotterkelly]

i have reaccuring suicide dreams. i have it happen probably 5 or 6 times now

 

[metothemoon]

I dreamed about taking SN a couple of times. I think because it is on top of my mind. Other vivid dreams also include things that happened in my life.

 

[Forveleth]

I once had a dream where you could just walk into a place and have medically assisted suicide. They give you two injections, about five minutes apart, and they ask you if you are sure before each one. I chickened out after the first one. My subconscious apparently hates me as I really do want to die. I woke up very upset.

 

[kuroshimi]

Never having suicide dreams, but quite often had nightmares. Now I think that dreams are completely gone, probably because of sleep disturbances.

 

[liquid jen]

Just a couple nights ago I had a dream i repeatedly stabbed myself in the throat with a fork until I blacked out (if you've seen the newer all quiet on the western you know what brought about this thought.) Unfortunately, I failed in the dream.
I also have a huge interest in my dreams and journal them. Suicide occasionally pops up, but if its not by my own hands i am dying a lot anyway. Its definitely just caused by extensive thinking and wishing for this. I'm sure as my planned date gets closer and closer they'll increase in number.

 

[alstroemeria55]

Yeah, I had a dream recently where I took something and felt myself slip away. I was sure I was finally going to be dead and I was very content. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up.