Suicide as a Way to Take Control

[Partial-Elf]

Not Always a Cry for Help

Suicide may be an attempt to exercise power and control.

www.google.com

I often read pieces about suicide, most frequently geared towards psychologists. This article had the best description I've read yet about my own suicidality, explaining that for some people it's:

"a longstanding dance with death, what's known in the psych biz as a "suicide career." These are not victims but masters of their own fate, people for whom the thought of suicide takes up long-term residence in the brain and for whom the risk of suicide doesn't fade after a threat or attempt. Suicidal intent is less a natural response to distress than a "virulent ideology." "Suicidal ideation hardens into a stiff shell of belief. These students feel good about suicide. It makes them feel in control," Joffe says. They contemplate, fantasize, plan, practice and rehearse taking their own lives.

Because they have been thinking about it for years, suicide becomes part of their personal identity. They feel proud of the power to control their own fate. They feel superior to others in that they have this avenue of power that others don't."

This is something I relate to SO much. I tried to look up that term "suicide career" and couldn't find anything. Psychology today seems like a mediocre source of info but this article really hits the nail on the head for me. Does it resonate with anyone else?

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I like the idea of having control over my life and death too. Everyone seems to accept that we're just forced to do things we don't want to do such as losing your childhood years studying to prepare for losing your adult years working in a mediocre job for decades, but what if I don't want to do that? What if I don't want to keep living just to be forced to do something I don't want? What if I defy society's expectations and kill myself? The thought makes me feel great since I hate society.

 

[been_there]

Victim blaming for psychologists who aren't capable of realising their own limitations.

 

[Dreamcolleger]

I don't know about making me above others, but I think if I can do it that will prove to me who I am.

 

[Imgonnadie]

what the fuck does that even mean? and how can it be a cry for help if youre dead

 

[secondtimesthecharm]

That's a really novel take on suicidal ideation that I haven't seen before. And I actually really relate to the idea that it's a form of power too. I've had suicidal ideation for years but it's actually been a real source of comfort to me... it was the assurance, always there in the back of my mind, that I didn't actually really HAVE to do anything in this world but die. And if I didn't care for the way things were going, I could always make that choice to opt out. Now having attempted unsuccessfully, I know it's not quite that simple, but still, in the past feeling like I could always kill myself was how I kept some sense of control and power in the face of everything life could throw at me.

However, despite the article touting how the university's new approach to is reducing suicide rates... I feel a really strong revulsion to the logic espoused by Joffe, that students have a responsibility to care for themselves to a certain standard. I think forcing that on people impinges on personal autonomy in a way that's overstepping the role of an educational institution for adults. I don't know, I can't really reconcile my thoughts on this, let alone articulate them successfully for engaging discussion.

Thank you for sharing this though, it was a really interesting read!

 

[TimeToDie]

I've seen lots of folks here working full-time on a "suicide career."

 

[TAW122]

Given the term "suicide career" (lack of a better term), I would say that sort of rings true for me. I don't feel anymore superior to others or those who don't think the same way I do, but I really enjoy the freedom and assurance of an exit, when things get too tough for me. The realization (in addition to the means of being able to reliable carry it out) is what brings me hope rather than platitudes, suicide prevention, and other anti-choice, anti-suicide spiel that the majority of society likes to push on everyone.

@Oblivion Lover I agree with you. I don't like society much at all and I'm just merely existing. In fact, over the last decade or so, I've always lived in a quasi-death is around the corner lifestyle, meaning that if something pushes me over the edge, then I'll go CTB. I just don't enjoy life nor do I enjoy society the way it is, I just appear as 'normal' as I can as to not arouse suspicion among the anti-choice, pro-life, anti-suicide society that we live in.

 

[TiredHorse]

I think that was an excellent article and a refreshing perspective on one type of suicidality. I think as far as motive goes --exercising control of your own life by choosing when to end it (you can't fire me; I quit)-- it hits the nail on the head.

What I would like to see addressed now is --in light of needing to feel in control-- how counterproductive mandatory medical incarceration is in the context of suicide.

Mandatory therapy? Okay; in the university context I can see that. If you need to stay in control, you can go for your four mandatory visits, twiddle your thumbs, pick your nose, bandy words with the therapist, and go home to whatever method you have chosen. It's really no worse than needing to show up to a class in order to get credit, and since you're already in college, you should be used to that.

Mandatory comittment to a medical facility, absolute oversight, and involuntary medication? I'm not certain if there's any worse treatment for someone choosing suicide as a way to keep control over their fate. How much worse could society treat someone already feeling such an extreme lack of agency that they choose to end their life just to keep control?

I wonder if this view of suicidality will gain any traction against the usual "cry for help" paradigm.

 

[not_a_robot]

I have often described suicide as the ultimate act of autonomy, if you do it right. We live our lives as miserable slaves to the survival and procreation instincts. Suicide is the only decision that requires us to consciously reject those instincts. Everything else we do boils down to pleasing others in pursuit of
survival/social acceptance/breeding.

I think that was an excellent article and a refreshing perspective on one type of suicidality. I think as far as motive goes --exercising control of your own life by choosing when to end it (you can't fire me; I quit)-- it hits the nail on the head.

What I would like to see addressed now is --in light of needing to feel in control-- how counterproductive mandatory medical incarceration is in the context of suicide.

Mandatory therapy? Okay; in the university context I can see that. If you need to stay in control, you can go for your four mandatory visits, twiddle your thumbs, pick your nose, bandy words with the therapist, and go home to whatever method you have chosen. It's really no worse than needing to show up to a class in order to get credit, and since you're already in college, you should be used to that.

Mandatory comittment to a medical facility, absolute oversight, and involuntary medication? I'm not certain if there's any worse treatment for someone choosing suicide as a way to keep control over their fate. How much worse could society treat someone already feeling such an extreme lack of agency that they choose to end their life just to keep control?

I wonder if this view of suicidality will gain any traction against the usual "cry for help" paradigm.

Nope. The social paradigm will always be paramount. "Preservation of the species" is all-important, even when we're overpopulated and killing the planet. It's not logic, just animal instinct.