Some of you may know my earlier thread about how I'm under investigation for "narcotics." I wanted to take mushrooms because of the reported efficacy in treating depression. They're the closest thing to a cure and I wanted to try everything to finally be a good contributing member of society. I had a plan to start my own business and really turn my life around. I really wanted to close the chapter of being dragged down by my mental illness and move forward. I'm somebody who's quite empathetic and caring, so my long term goal in life was to serve those need help because I realize there is no other point in living life other than to ease the suffering in this terrible world. I wanted to help myself and others...
But life is fucked up, and these brain-dead government goons are seeking to punish me for that very reason. I may be looking at more time than rapists and murderers.
I decided that if they decide to indict me, I will promptly kill myself. I will not let them try me like a criminal. I won't put myself through the stress of going through the joke of a justice system. I won't let them use me to support their narrative that these things are harmful, when they are actively causing more harm to a human life than I ever would. I won't beg and plead with them to give me a lighter sentence, and live the rest of my life under their thumb. "Prison isn't the end of your life" some may say, but in essence it is. Even after the lightest possible sentence, I will be in my late 30s when I get out, and that's assuming I get a light sentence. I will have no tangible skills, a criminal record, and no money. My aging parents can't support me, so I won't be able to support myself and gain employable skills. Due to my record, I won't be employable here, and I won't be able to get a work visa abroad. I will be stuck with minimum wage jobs, but because of the culture in my country, nobody will employ a man in his late 30s or older for menial labor. All because of some fucking mushrooms.
It's a sick joke that our society proclaims itself to be "free" and "democratic" when there is essentially no freedom of speech. How can a society be free when individuals can't even exercise control over their own bodies (and minds)? The investigation was a farce. They didn't even know what these compounds were and equated it to using meth. When I told them about the studies on depression, they thought I was bullshitting them. Imagine a rape investigation conducted by detectives who don't even know how sex works, much less rape.
It's more egregious when you take into account how rampant depression and suicide is, and how this society actively encourages the use of alcohol, a far more dangerous and addictive toxin. Drunkards drive and risk lives, women pass out and get raped, drunk people start fights and vandalize property. That's all okay because alcohol keeps the populace numb, docile and unquestioning. But take mushrooms to treat your depression and explore your own consciousness? You are a dangerous criminal.
Here's the revelation I had thanks to this: Depression is not a mental illness. The real sickness is the world we live in. Depression is a natural reaction of the body and mind to the inflammatory disease of human society. If you aren't depressed by the state of the world, you're the one who's sick. It means something isn't quite functioning right with you.
Some may argue that the depressed and suicidal are the minority among other wise "healthy" people who have adjusted to this world. I would say that depression and suicide are only one of the many ways this illness manifests. There's a plethora of unhealthy and sick behavior in society, and most people get by numbing themselves. Why do you think capitalism and consumerism took off? It's all a drug to get away from reality. To face reality means you have to go against your biological wiring of self-preservation, and most people are not willing to see. Cattle imprisoned in feed lots don't commit suicide, but you'd have to be brain-dead to think that's a life worth living. We are the cattle. We are spiritually butchered to feed the rich and powerful.
My death is my protest. This is my middle finger to society. I never asked to be born in this shite. They made me sick, and now they seek to punish me for attempting to cure myself.
Now if my lawyer pulls through and they don't ahead with the indictment, I will probably continue to live. But they have already killed my dignity and left me in fear of government coercion. I will have no choice but to work my ass off to move to a freer society and do my best to ease the symptoms of evil in this world.
But life is fucked up, and these brain-dead government goons are seeking to punish me for that very reason. I may be looking at more time than rapists and murderers.
I decided that if they decide to indict me, I will promptly kill myself. I will not let them try me like a criminal. I won't put myself through the stress of going through the joke of a justice system. I won't let them use me to support their narrative that these things are harmful, when they are actively causing more harm to a human life than I ever would. I won't beg and plead with them to give me a lighter sentence, and live the rest of my life under their thumb. "Prison isn't the end of your life" some may say, but in essence it is. Even after the lightest possible sentence, I will be in my late 30s when I get out, and that's assuming I get a light sentence. I will have no tangible skills, a criminal record, and no money. My aging parents can't support me, so I won't be able to support myself and gain employable skills. Due to my record, I won't be employable here, and I won't be able to get a work visa abroad. I will be stuck with minimum wage jobs, but because of the culture in my country, nobody will employ a man in his late 30s or older for menial labor. All because of some fucking mushrooms.
It's a sick joke that our society proclaims itself to be "free" and "democratic" when there is essentially no freedom of speech. How can a society be free when individuals can't even exercise control over their own bodies (and minds)? The investigation was a farce. They didn't even know what these compounds were and equated it to using meth. When I told them about the studies on depression, they thought I was bullshitting them. Imagine a rape investigation conducted by detectives who don't even know how sex works, much less rape.
It's more egregious when you take into account how rampant depression and suicide is, and how this society actively encourages the use of alcohol, a far more dangerous and addictive toxin. Drunkards drive and risk lives, women pass out and get raped, drunk people start fights and vandalize property. That's all okay because alcohol keeps the populace numb, docile and unquestioning. But take mushrooms to treat your depression and explore your own consciousness? You are a dangerous criminal.
Here's the revelation I had thanks to this: Depression is not a mental illness. The real sickness is the world we live in. Depression is a natural reaction of the body and mind to the inflammatory disease of human society. If you aren't depressed by the state of the world, you're the one who's sick. It means something isn't quite functioning right with you.
Some may argue that the depressed and suicidal are the minority among other wise "healthy" people who have adjusted to this world. I would say that depression and suicide are only one of the many ways this illness manifests. There's a plethora of unhealthy and sick behavior in society, and most people get by numbing themselves. Why do you think capitalism and consumerism took off? It's all a drug to get away from reality. To face reality means you have to go against your biological wiring of self-preservation, and most people are not willing to see. Cattle imprisoned in feed lots don't commit suicide, but you'd have to be brain-dead to think that's a life worth living. We are the cattle. We are spiritually butchered to feed the rich and powerful.
My death is my protest. This is my middle finger to society. I never asked to be born in this shite. They made me sick, and now they seek to punish me for attempting to cure myself.
Now if my lawyer pulls through and they don't ahead with the indictment, I will probably continue to live. But they have already killed my dignity and left me in fear of government coercion. I will have no choice but to work my ass off to move to a freer society and do my best to ease the symptoms of evil in this world.
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