Tsundere
Member
- Oct 6, 2020
- 23
Hello all! This is my first time posting here. Nice to meet you. I was mostly lurking for the past few days, but I wanted to post tonight for once.
For almost a year, I've been living far away from home as I wanted to escape my sister as my mom unfortunately let her come back to stay and it really fucks me up being around her. She used to physically abuse me for most of my childhood, in addition to me being bullied at school. Not a very pleasant experience to say the least. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 15 and I would self-harm or take medication to keep it under control, but money has been tight now so I've fallen back to the unhealthy option.
My anxiety been manageable up until now, as next month, I will have to leave where I've been living as the lease will be ending and my roommate and I are going our separate ways (they don't want to room with me again) and there hasn't been good jobs due to the pandemic so I wouldn't be able to afford to live alone.
So then the next and only option would be to go home, but I don't think I'll able to handle being around my sister this time. when I was 15-19 years old, it was fine being at home as my mom had kicked her out so it was only us two. Unexpectedly, I guess her and my mom talked something out and she came back and still lives there to this day.
She would still verbally abuse me and tell me to kill myself before I left home to stay away from her, and my mom dismissed it as sibling squabbling lol.
I just have this dreadful feeling stuck with me, thinking about the day I have to leave and going back to living with someone who made my life a living hell. Lately, thoughts of just ending it seem preferable. :(
Is it too much to ask for a hug? I wish someone would hug me ugh
For almost a year, I've been living far away from home as I wanted to escape my sister as my mom unfortunately let her come back to stay and it really fucks me up being around her. She used to physically abuse me for most of my childhood, in addition to me being bullied at school. Not a very pleasant experience to say the least. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 15 and I would self-harm or take medication to keep it under control, but money has been tight now so I've fallen back to the unhealthy option.
My anxiety been manageable up until now, as next month, I will have to leave where I've been living as the lease will be ending and my roommate and I are going our separate ways (they don't want to room with me again) and there hasn't been good jobs due to the pandemic so I wouldn't be able to afford to live alone.
So then the next and only option would be to go home, but I don't think I'll able to handle being around my sister this time. when I was 15-19 years old, it was fine being at home as my mom had kicked her out so it was only us two. Unexpectedly, I guess her and my mom talked something out and she came back and still lives there to this day.
She would still verbally abuse me and tell me to kill myself before I left home to stay away from her, and my mom dismissed it as sibling squabbling lol.
I just have this dreadful feeling stuck with me, thinking about the day I have to leave and going back to living with someone who made my life a living hell. Lately, thoughts of just ending it seem preferable. :(
Is it too much to ask for a hug? I wish someone would hug me ugh