symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
It hurts so much to be alive and coping feels impossibly hard at times. How do you all manage?
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,761
Just getting by day to day
 
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Sulyya

Sulyya

Synergist
Mar 6, 2023
542
by suffering 🙃 and just takin it
 
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Flores de Abril

Flores de Abril

Member
Mar 8, 2023
27
Well, I have been doing it basically my whole life, but as Zegers stated above is as it is: living one day at a time
It is about learning to enjoy the good days when they come and how to cope when you are in worst days, mostly for me I think the best thing for you to do is to connect yourself with the world around you, I usually climb my home's rooftop and stare at the horizon during mild episodes, or even hanging out with friends or family (if you have good ones) or even your pet. This activities help me to ease the fellings of anxiety, depression and even loneliess
In the worst days sometimes I hide under my study desk and write what I am feeling on it or paint it in watercolor if I cant express it in words, so activities like that can be of great help when you are struggling to the point where you just cant find the energy to do anything besides pity yourself, getting the fellings out is really important
 
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incorporationated

incorporationated

mentally unstable idiot
Jan 24, 2023
78
my best friend.
 
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ChiseHatori

ChiseHatori

Member
Mar 2, 2023
94
Mostly just distraction, and setting goals and trying to put all other thoughts aside to just get to those goals. They can be small, but it helps a little. Some days it is a lot.
 
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Calicocat

Calicocat

Member
Feb 12, 2023
8
For me, probably knowing that my younger bro wouldn't make it without me, plus getting myself into an unhealthy ammount of college work so i can have no time to think about if it has any meaning and if it is worth it to keep going.
Also, i got a few hobbies in place that sure did help through my worst times.
But damn, if it wasn't for my brother, i would definitely not be here, despite all the rest.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,220
Because it's hard to CTB. That's the only reason lol.
 
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PAfb_640

PAfb_640

Budak Bunuh Diri
Feb 22, 2023
39
Distractions and laziness. Maybe I'm procrastinating my ctb.
 
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S

Spyware

Member
Nov 6, 2020
65
I need to figure out a stable job and a place to live first. I can't ctb while being dependent on my parents. Tried that once - and failed. Lesson learned ;-;
 
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Himalayan

Himalayan

"Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned"
Sep 30, 2022
422
Self discovery.
 
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Viranamari

Viranamari

A Future Corpse
Feb 22, 2023
293
I try to just go through the day. Of course, it's horrible and all but I still try to survive for at least one more day. And that goes on and on. In other words, I force myself to stay alive for the sake of others or myself.
 
T

Twistedliesinside

Member
Apr 20, 2023
84
Flip the script, become a masochist.
 
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charlotte_

charlotte_

Arcanist
Mar 12, 2023
435
Just sucking it all up and try to disturb myself with video games
 
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sashimi_

sashimi_

salmon and cucumber maki
Apr 27, 2023
30
this morning i woke up suddenly with the weirdest sensation that i was alive? like ME specifically , i felt very conscious. it almost felt like a reminder from my brain itself. what of idk. ive been thinking about ctb a lot lately, so i guess some part of me is saying no, and thats my reason...

...and also video games
 
peachchildtenshi

peachchildtenshi

life
Apr 6, 2023
65
distractions, high si, plus just feeling numb with everything going around me lately,
 
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Coldpizza22

Coldpizza22

Crafter
Apr 2, 2023
71
Trying to stay positive and look towards the future, but it's not going that well. I'm working, but being paid almost nothing (somekind of apprenticeship). I'm also single and alone, rn in my bed and wiping my tears. Don't care much about stuff, even stopped gaming.
 
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Azzuree

Azzuree

"The white snow looks pure, and yet they hurt"
May 1, 2023
5
Distractions, sleep, and mostly the fear of what happens after death.
 
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torotoro.inoue

torotoro.inoue

hanging on by a thread
May 1, 2023
4
My boyfriend. And also my brother and my cousins back home, they're always asking when I'm coming to see them again, and recently one of my cousins told me they were having suicidal thoughts... I have to keep looking out for them because their parents are shit.
Also I love otters and I want to pet an otter before I die
 
UsagiDrop

UsagiDrop

“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
Apr 27, 2023
299
Not to echo the sentiments shared above but, other than the fear of the mess I'll leave behind and my inability to plan for it, I stay alive by trying to take it day-to-day. Every day until I either get better or decide to end it, I just have to make it through. I just have to keep going until I can get in bed again. That's what I tell myself.

I'm fortunate enough to work even if I dislike certain parts of my job right now and the routine of doing that every day, while it makes me miserable, gives me something to do. And I can't be alone with my thoughts, either. I've had headphones in my ear 24/7 since I was like eleven, lol.

Then there are things I can look forward to in the future. Going to my favorite restaurant every month. Getting to decorate my Animal Crossing island or Stardew Valley farm and seeing the progress in two months. Groups and artists that I really like will continue to make music and release it soon. New seasons of shows that I enjoy will eventually come out. I write with other people and every day, I wake up excited to see where their reply will take our story. My friend has a baby and she surprises me with pictures every now and again, sometimes a voicenote or video where a toddler is excitedly telling me "hi". Sometimes my parents call and I can hear the dog I had to leave at home barking happily at the sound of my voice in the background. These are the tiny and probably pathetic things that keep me going on a daily basis.
 
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uniqueusername39

uniqueusername39

Student
Mar 7, 2023
186
it takes more effort to prepare for my death.
 
dannysgrave

dannysgrave

Member
May 3, 2023
22
Feeling accomplished by doing "small" tasks. Like getting out of bed, taking a shower, eating something different than the day before. It's such small stuff but just completing one fills me with a sense of accomplishment and makes me feel a bit better. Also my dogs. There's no one to take care of them besides me and I couldn't leave them alone.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,540
I'm telling myself that I just need to tread water as best I can until the time I feel I can CTB. (After my Dad dies.) It's no gurantee that I'll even do it then but knowing that I can has always helped me in a way- knowing that if things just get too much- it's an option. (All be it a difficult and scary one.)
 
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nolifezzz

nolifezzz

stuck somewhere between hell and earth
Mar 26, 2020
39
by roleplaying a zombie haha...
 
Goukan「強姦」

Goukan「強姦」

Member
May 4, 2023
15
For me it's a bit different, I actually fo enjoy certaine form of my own suffering so I just do what I enjoy in life. My addictions. I'm also a high-functioning ASD case so just surrounding myself of my special interest and engage in my addiction in that sort of fantasy world of mine is how a deal with when my CPTSD is really bad.

If you are considering a more healthy lifestyle the mindset kind works too but with like follow religiously a lifestyle for example fitness and healthy eating. In a way fitness is the normal man's SH.

I don't suffer with depression so if this is what makes it hard for you to stay alive and give even the tiniest bit meaning to your life, I think doing extensive research on medical help or any types of therapy might actually be good. Depression is the most common mental illness so the chances of success in finding something that works well enought to make you less depressed is more likely. At least enought to find purpose to keep going. Life will still suck and you have to learn to accept the reality of it if you even want to stand a chance at surviving.
 
StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
Hope for a better tomorrow and my desire to finish Uni before I die. Also no SN or N so no promise of a peaceful exit yet.
 
Wilsonie_22

Wilsonie_22

Member
May 8, 2023
35
I have a little cascading process

First, I try to not resist the pain. (best method ever, can usually stop the bulk of the need to suicide)

If that fails or I still feel depressed, I distract myself with goals and tasks.

After the tasks are done, I should feel better but if I don't I distract myself with gaming or sex.

If all of the above fails, I cry for a while, feel empty and maybe play around with my helium exit bag. Usually putting the bag over my head and imagining dying and my mom finding me like that makes me think twice before fully committing.

And the cycle starts again.
 
iLikeFrogs

iLikeFrogs

Most likely dissociating
May 5, 2023
98
I'm just too tired to try and end it all. Most days I stay in bed and scroll social media, I'm just a depressed little bug hiding under the blankets
 
Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
Setting goals, leisurely distractions, and practicing certain philosophies (such as Stoicism) helps me get by. I wouldn't say I'm recovered, no where close. I'm just ... Here.
 

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