xX.mlnchli
melancholy
- Jul 4, 2023
- 12
me and my ex finally stopped being friends, it took a while, but after he started saying the stupidest shit to me i decided to just end it. im tired of it. anyways though, i still miss him, i mean he was immature as hell, during our relationship and after we broke up, but i reached my breaking point. its whatevs, since i was in the same situation exactly
one year ago with another dude i met 2 yrs ago, but yk. things have to be done in order for one to keep going, not me though, hell ive probably attempted 3 times this week, in total maybe around 8x this MONTH. im legit going crazy. ever since me and my ex officially broke up and actually decided to act as friends ive been feeling more and more suicidal, because of him. he ALWAYS. has something to say about me but when it comes to one of his friends that are rly pretty he never says mean things about them. but when i have guy friends around he's constantly judging them. where's the respect???
anyways, he had been comparing me a lot to other girls these last 2 weeks and a couple of days ago he told me after a discussion abt some girl that i was just mad because i'll never be pretty as her. sure we were still friends, but in a way ig he still saw me as an option bc he was real touchy with me literally the day before he said that, i obv got pissed and apparently the last day i talked to him he told me that his crush took better pictures than i did and that i looked like i was trying too hard etc. i rly liked the way i came out in that pic, and many other ppl liked it as well, but i swear, now i feel like they're all lying to me because he told me that. I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE.
back in 2020. i literally hated simply going outside because of my face even though id be wearing a mask. id get panic attacks and so fkn paranoid because i was scared that everyone was looking at me. i got better like a year later but because of the dude i met 2 yrs ago, my ex and my ex's friends, obv i felt the need to hide again. but its never been this bad.
one year ago with another dude i met 2 yrs ago, but yk. things have to be done in order for one to keep going, not me though, hell ive probably attempted 3 times this week, in total maybe around 8x this MONTH. im legit going crazy. ever since me and my ex officially broke up and actually decided to act as friends ive been feeling more and more suicidal, because of him. he ALWAYS. has something to say about me but when it comes to one of his friends that are rly pretty he never says mean things about them. but when i have guy friends around he's constantly judging them. where's the respect???
anyways, he had been comparing me a lot to other girls these last 2 weeks and a couple of days ago he told me after a discussion abt some girl that i was just mad because i'll never be pretty as her. sure we were still friends, but in a way ig he still saw me as an option bc he was real touchy with me literally the day before he said that, i obv got pissed and apparently the last day i talked to him he told me that his crush took better pictures than i did and that i looked like i was trying too hard etc. i rly liked the way i came out in that pic, and many other ppl liked it as well, but i swear, now i feel like they're all lying to me because he told me that. I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE.
i hate my face sm, i feel like im
back in 2020. i literally hated simply going outside because of my face even though id be wearing a mask. id get panic attacks and so fkn paranoid because i was scared that everyone was looking at me. i got better like a year later but because of the dude i met 2 yrs ago, my ex and my ex's friends, obv i felt the need to hide again. but its never been this bad.
