Help Suggested Methods of Self-Harming?

[Unsure and Useless]

I don't want to come across as picky, but is there any method of self-harm that is physical but not too painful and doesn't leave scars? Mental self-harm methods are also acceptable!

Those around me know that I'm very depressed (which is a fault on my part due to my flawed nature of oversharing), so if there's any visible implications of SH, then I'll be interrogated and most likely institutionalized. I'm too much of a coward to start cutting myself. (Pulling out parts of my nails is painful enough, so I can't imagine breaking skin.) I have tried starving myself or not allowing myself to drink water, but those attempts resulted in me passing out in public. Looking into choking myself, similar to that one game in the past where people used to choke themselves with belts, yielded results of brain damage—which, as someone whose only use lies in their barely above average intelligence, terrifies me.

My former go-to method was listening to music on a volume that was too loud since my earphones didn't let anyone hear my music no matter how loud it was, but they're broken now and my new pair is terrible at "hiding" my music. Additionally, this SH method has (obviously) resulted in hearing loss, which in turn led to me having a loud voice. People already judge me enough since I'm extremely annoying and a blight on society, so they hate me even more for being so loud for "no reason."

I understand that I deserve this pain because I'm a terrible person, but I just need a way to convert this anguish into something tangible that I can deal with head-on. I can't handle this ever-present heaviness on my mind 24/7 unless I launch myself into a manic state, but the crash after that only makes my depression worse.

If I were to sum up my preferred method, it'd be "SH and go"; an efficient method that'll allow me to have a tangible way, physical or mental, of experiencing my pain without having any scars or long-lasting damage while also being swift enough to simply do the deed and get on with the my life.

Although, that is already a tall order, so I'm open to any other physical/mental SH methods!

 

[AresCohere]

This is something I know a bit about as I practice it fairly regularly.

First of all, with mental SH, starving yourself may be a good option, but tbh just staying alive is mental SH enough. Other options for this could just be forcing yourself to never have a stable sleep schedule, and also only ever reading bad news.

Physical stuff, well, it's all going to cause pain. I learnt my lesson before with not doing it anywhere easily visible, but I was lucky able to claim it was just cat scratches. I recommend places like the upper thigh for SH or somewhere else usually covered up. While a knife is the easiest option, it can easily cause scaring. Something like a pin-tac to cause smaller areas of pain/bleeding is a good option as it's much harder to see. If you do choose a knife, sharper is better as it will be quicker to cut and less visible over time.

I wish you luck with this, and I hate how society shames SH so much.