Venting Suffering isnt a badge of honor

[divinemistress36]

I was just talking with a friend who is also disabled and he said " We are stuck in deteriorating bodies, We must learn to suffer with dignity and integrity!" Uh speak for yourself bro..

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, screw that suffering nonsense. To each their own, I guess.

 

[Yarani]

Can someone explain what he even meant by that? I can't make sense of it right now
I searched for "suffering with dignity" and the first result is an article on an academic website where the first sentences state that a loss of integrity or dignity can incite suffering. I'm confused. I, too, would have thought that suffering does not go hand in hand with dignity and integrity. I'm doing it wrong. Either the suffering or the understanding. I don't know which.

 

[ferrie]

There's no dignity in our bodies failing us. We don't deserve to suffer, but we should be able to express it without other people's input. We're not anyone's sympathy porn

 

[Hotsackage]

When it effects the brain, some people would think differently. But there are some people who can live with it, mental or physical

 

[divinemistress36]

Can someone explain what he even meant by that? I can't make sense of it right now
I searched for "suffering with dignity" and the first result is an article on an academic website where the first sentences state that a loss of integrity or dignity can incite suffering. I'm confused. I, too, would have thought that suffering does not go hand in hand with dignity and integrity. I'm doing it wrong. Either the suffering or the understanding. I don't know which.

I didnt understand it either I think he believes all this suffering makes you stronger or something

 

[Saturn_]

Fuck dignity, that shouldn't be an obligation. I just want to be happy...

 

[ferrie]

Can someone explain what he even meant by that? I can't make sense of it right now
I searched for "suffering with dignity" and the first result is an article on an academic website where the first sentences state that a loss of integrity or dignity can incite suffering. I'm confused. I, too, would have thought that suffering does not go hand in hand with dignity and integrity. I'm doing it wrong. Either the suffering or the understanding. I don't know which.

People usually say "suffer with dignity" to mean not letting people see that you're suffering or to "not let it change you". We're looked down on when disabilities or illnesses make us more irritable, tired, and withdrawn

 

[QueerMelancholy]

This is my answer.

 

[Tesha]

Can someone explain what he even meant by that? I can't make sense of it right now
I searched for "suffering with dignity" and the first result is an article on an academic website where the first sentences state that a loss of integrity or dignity can incite suffering. I'm confused. I, too, would have thought that suffering does not go hand in hand with dignity and integrity. I'm doing it wrong. Either the suffering or the understanding. I don't know which.

Basically, we can suffer but make sure you don't allow it to affect others. If you suffer with dignity and integrity then you won't upset other people; so that's ok.

Well, that's my interpretation, but I may be slightly off piste, as I'm somewhat drunk.

Personally when I finally check out, it will probably be with as much disgrace and annoyance as I can muster (for certain people).

 

[smvrtsa]

suffering with "dignity" as in, suffering without burdening others? ok cool ill just ctb then duh? what a stupid and counterproductive thing to say

 

[Yarani]

I didnt understand it either I think he believes all this suffering makes you stronger or something

People usually say "suffer with dignity" to mean not letting people see that you're suffering or to "not let it change you". We're looked down on when disabilities or illnesses make us more irritable, tired, and withdrawn

Basically, we can suffer but make sure you don't allow it to affect others. If you suffer with dignity and integrity then you won't upset other people; so that's ok.

Well, that's my interpretation, but I may be slightly off piste, as I'm somewhat drunk.

Personally when I finally check out, it will probably be with as much disgrace and annoyance as I can muster (for certain people).

Thank you for clarifying. That is nonsensical, of course suffering will change you. And you're right, people don't know how to handle chronic suffering of others. I don't think they're at fault though. It's exhausting, frustrating and draining. I understand that now. It's why I basically went no contact with everyone. I saw what I did to them, and what they then did to me, over decades. I think it's enough now.
I'm sad he said that, sad for you and for him. Communication and empathy are underestimated I think. We should probably rather learn those as a society

 

[DoubleUp8]

I don't know if i should say anything about integrity being someone who thinks the bank robber has more integrity than the banker

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Nobody has to learn to suffer with dignity . No one has to accept any suffering at all much less the extreme torture possible and probable in this hell called life. No one has to do anything . There is no objective meaning nor purpose to life.

Life is meaningless suffering and a prison. so is this evil world . no one has to accept suffering or accept the state we are in all prisoners . Just one reason we are all prisoners is that we can't leave this life or this world if we want to because they made guaranteed suicide methods into crimes.

 

[thenamingofcats]

Totally. Suffering doesn't make us better or deep, or...whatever. Past a certain point it just breaks people down. I'm also tired of therapists telling people that they must be "such a strong person" for going through trauma and abuse when actually a lot of us just haven't found a way to overcome SI yet and finish it.

 

[karmaisabitch]

That's exactly what happened with me today, so I went by my son grave after work and there I met parents visiting their child too. They saw me crying so the guy said " no, no don't cry like that, you're still young enjoy life it's beautiful your son is gone he's with god now in heaven, you still have to enjoy life" I don't even know this dude so I'm like " whatever" I didn't answer. People define their suffering with different languages. I know those parents are hurt but they are still looking at life as it's beautiful. They are prob just saying that I don't know.. I will never believe life is beautiful. I never did to begin with but I was ok. Once you get hit hard your life turns upside down. We know what we know, my friend!

 

[SilentSadness]

Learn to suffer, huh.

 

[UKscotty]

I think it really depends on the situation and what the person is doing.

I have been deeply suicidal for 25 years so with one lense I can emphasise, with another I do roll my eyes on those who moan and whine on social media etc. I think.. just stop being such an attention seeker and see a therapist.. get some dignity.

Within reason its OK to have a cry for help but sometimes it's just too much and I personally don't need to see someone's problems, I have my own life to deal with.

Tricky one for sure.. I sort of agree with the sentiment but then I also disagree with it too lol

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess it's a coping mechanism for him but I don't think it's something that should be pushed on people as something they should do. I see it like religion in a way. If someone finds comfort and support in it- great. But- don't try to push it on others. Don't demean others with it. Don't treat it as a template for everyone's life. If it helps you to live like that- great but- it should be a choice.

Not everyone gets that martyrdom type of satisfaction out of suffering and struggling in life. Is he religious by any chance? I imagine a lot of people who feel like they need to endure their suffering have an idea that it's for some greater purpose or something.

 

[frost_]

The unspeakable alternative is there is no plan and no purpose to physical suffering. It is miserable.

But how could a disabled person cope with that? Putting something higher than suffering, like dignity or morality, makes it not only bearable but righteous.

 

[divinemistress36]

That's exactly what happened with me today, so I went by my son grave after work and there I met parents visiting their child too. They saw me crying so the guy said " no, no don't cry like that, you're still young enjoy life it's beautiful your son is gone he's with god now in heaven, you still have to enjoy life" I don't even know this dude so I'm like " whatever" I didn't answer. People define their suffering with different languages. I know those parents are hurt but they are still looking at life as it's beautiful. They are prob just saying that I don't know.. I will never believe life is beautiful. I never did to begin with but I was ok. Once you get hit hard your life turns upside down. We know what we know, my friend!

Some people can handle suffering some of us cant

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I fully agree with you. The people who act like there's beauty in suffering really piss me off. There isn't beauty in suffering but there is beauty in the lack of suffering. And besides, we were all born against our will to begin with so we shouldn't be obligated to live and find dignity in suffering. I see suffering as a curse, not a blessing

 

[divinemistress36]

I guess it's a coping mechanism for him but I don't think it's something that should be pushed on people as something they should do. I see it like religion in a way. If someone finds comfort and support in it- great. But- don't try to push it on others. Don't demean others with it. Don't treat it as a template for everyone's life. If it helps you to live like that- great but- it should be a choice.

Not everyone gets that martyrdom type of satisfaction out of suffering and struggling in life. Is he religious by any chance? I imagine a lot of people who feel like they need to endure their suffering have an idea that it's for some greater purpose or something.

Yes he is that makes sense thank you

 

[yellowjester]

We must learn to suffer with dignity and integrity!"

Dignity is a very personal matter; I hate how it's made out to be this universal concept that applies to everyone equally.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly isn't, under no circumstances would I ever wish to suffer in this futile existence, to me all suffering is meaningless, unnecessary and best avoided no matter what, I only wish for eternal nothingness as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm. It's so horrible and cruel how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option with people expected to continue suffering no matter what, it's very unacceptable how not wanting to suffer isn't seen as a valid way to feel.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I was just talking with a friend who is also disabled and he said " We are stuck in deteriorating bodies, We must learn to suffer with dignity and integrity!" Uh speak for yourself bro..

Bro, just un disable yourself bro. If you think about it hard enough it'll come to you. You just being negative bro. If I can do it, anyone can do it.

/s

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Suffer in dignity lol. Yeah just like the soldier that thinks he's going to war for "freedom" and not for the benefit of greedy big oil and the global elites.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Suffer in dignity lol. Yeah just like the soldier that thinks he's going to war for "freedom" and not for the benefit of greedy big oil and the global elites.

I never understood why people join the military. At least with corps you can choose to negotiate the contract and be butt fucked a little less harsh, maybe they even offer lube. With the military you a truly fucked - just a meat sack of death.

 

[_Minsk]

Its easy to say that when you don't suffer a lot