Suffer from the mere fact of existing

[universe]

What I hate the most in the world is the simple fact of existing. I'm stuck, like in a simulation that I can't master, like in a game that I can never leave, with no break possible. Every day, I wake up in the morning and the simple fact of seeing, of hearing the noises, of understanding that I am in the earthly world, with all its constructions and obligations, makes me feel bad. All these stimuli from my brain, yet banal and testifying to the fact that I am alive. The simple fact of having to be there, by default, makes me suffer.
I never find peace, even at night as I dream, I'm also somehow in a world, almost the same as the real world. I find it a real psychological torture to be forced to exist and the more I advance in life, the worse this feeling gets, the more I feel this constraint. It is as if someone controlled me and forced me to live without my ever being able to oppose it. Like the animals that are forced to stay alive for circuses or other while they suffer, mutilate themselves and attempt suicide.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel the same way. I think that life itself is the problem, and I simply dislike being conscious and aware, it's a form of suffering. Life is completely unnecessary as there was never a need for life to be a thing in the first place. I do look forward to permanent non existence as only then I will be free from experiencing things. I don't see anything positive in this life and having to endure existence simply does not interest me. As long as we exist there is no real relief from suffering and no escape from our thoughts. To me, it's all so awful.

 

[catflowers]

i fucking hate being alive evey minute is horrible i am only alive for my family

 

[universe]

Thank you for your answers, exactly it is a permanent suffering. I hate people who say that there are still plenty of things to do in life. Because the rare activities that can be a little pleasant require this permanent suffering all day long. With the benefit-suffering balance, the choice is quickly made.

 

[redeyepiranha]

I absolutely agree, I don't enjoy things anymore, everytime when I think if I achieve something, I will feel happy, life proves me wrong. The strongest desire for me is to die or better to have never been here in the first place

 

[FadeOut]

I agree with you guys so much. There are still little things that bring me joy, but... I came to the point when they are simply not enough. How are people around me able to go about their day with so much energy? How can people be optimistic and persevere during horrible times when I'm here not lacking anything in particular, but just filled with dread?

 

[Astral Storm]

I agree with you so much. Existence is truly horrifying. On a base level, it's a never-ending struggle of fulfilling needs. We are simply meant to struggle all the time. Every time we reach something, it passes and all of it is starting over again.