sudden last-minute fear for no reason.

[nottinghams]

I'm very comfortable and confident in my ctb, quite relaxed about it...until the day before.

and it makes no sense. it doesn't have a reason as far as I can tell. just some body-block of some kind, like a rigidness. Why is this happening?


I do believe I might be mentally strong enough to put my foot down and force myself to anyway. But in case it does become a big block the next opportunity I have to suicide, what should I do?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sounds like survival instinct. I expect most of us experience a knee jerk presevation instinct when we know we're in danger. As for how you get over it, I really don't know. I haven't encountered mine yet because I haven't seriously attempted yet. I have this (probably foolish) hope that I'll be able to rationalise with myself as to why I have to do this- what I need to get away from.

 

[catnowmeowmeow]

I can imagine it's natural to feel a fear so I am planning maybe to reduce the anxiety with some weed or something

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish it's not so unnecessarily difficult to be free from this existence, I'm sorry you have to go through this, hope you find peace eventually.

 

[nottinghams]

thanks everybody! I think I'm actually mentally stronger than ive ever been since planning suicide. took some training but I kinda 'woke up' to suicide.

I just wanted to post this cause the rigidness is still happening some. if anybody does have any advices you can always ppm if you'd like, i'd be grateful.