Venting "successful" but still suicidal?

[curiousfawn]

i dont get it i dont get why im like this. my grades r good, i was a valedictorian when i graduated hs, im going 2 a good uni, i have friends, im a club president i did everything right i did everything i was supposed 2 do so why cant i be happy?

i dont know what i should do now :/ cus my parents always talked abt how i need 2 do well in school so i can be successful in the real world but im so tired of it all, i just, idk i thought i wld be happy after putting in all this effort but clearly i was delusional!

yknow yesterday i saw a bunch of seniors taking yearbook pictures @ the library n all i cld think abt was how sucky it wld to not be included in my graduating class yearbook cus ill b dead, idk ig i wont be here 2 care but its still irritating ヽ( `д´*)ノ

ive been trying 2 spend as much time as i can with my mom cus idk i psyched myself into thinkin that if i make alot of good memories with her b4 i die itll be less painful 4 her when i ctb but idk, its probably me bein delusonal again

im sorry 4 turning this into a rambling post n straying off topic but idk im just sad sorry (╥﹏╥)

 

[cryone]

no, i understand. its slightly different for me cause i still think i need to do more even with some success. maybe you haven't exactly been happy yet because you are still in uni. Obviously being out of it wont solve all your issues, but prehaps youll feel more relieved and peaceful later.

 

[imdepressed999]

Our society has it all wrong. Look at all the celebs who have killed themselves. These people are millionaires and successful on the outside but are depressed deep down. I 1000% get what you're saying, i feel the same way.

 

[UKscotty]

Some of us are just wired up wrong I think.

Plenty of rich and powerful people CTB whilst the poorer can love life.

It's a complicated thing mental illness. It's also exceptionally difficult to treat as well, even if you have resources.

 

[divinemistress36]

Some of us are just wired up wrong I think.

Plenty of rich and powerful people CTB whilst the poorer can love life.

It's a complicated thing mental illness. It's also exceptionally difficult to treat as well, even if you have resources.

I agree I think it's some kind of faulty wiring in our brains

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I've also been relatively "successful" in life, but only because I'm really really good at pushing down my feelings. If I actually had the opportunity to express myself and explore my own identity (at the risk of *gasp* not presenting myself as perfect 100% of the time), maybe I wouldn't have shoved down my emotions and made my mental health problems worse. I'd argue my "success" at doing what was expected of me made me fail at pursing the real life I would have wanted.

 

[anotherlastchance]

Suicide isn't as simple as an illness it's quite complex that's why it so hard to find a solution for suicidal tendencies